Why am I obese?

[aapple]

Obviously, I eat more calories than I burn off. My BMI is 32. But why, what can I change?

I've done the calorie counting thing and reached a healthy weight many times before. It never sticks, and I want to make permanent lifestyle changes this time. I don't care if it takes years to reach a healthy weight, but I'd prefer if it didn't take decades.

I'm not looking to do anything that I wouldn't want the whole family doing. So no cutting out entire food groups, or fasting etc. I don't want to teach my kids those habits.

I live somewhere with little to no 'temptations' from shops and takeaways. I get my shopping delivered, pay for petrol at the pump and rarely go past any other shops. So I'm not sure it is the food environment. My weekly shopping list is all fruit, vegetables, dairy, bread, fish. A little jam, peanut butter and chocolate. Reasonably healthy I think.

I get some exercise, not a lot. I'm a stay at home parent, so rarely actually sit down between 5am and 9pm. I go for walks, at small person pace. I clean and garden. I do mum and baby pilates, and go for short runs at the weekend. I don't know where I would squeeze more exercise in really.

95% of what we eat is cooked from scratch, using whole foods. We don't have desserts often. I never drink alcohol, juice, squash. Just water and tea (no milk or sugar), maybe a coke with a meal out.

I only eat at the table, although days are hectic, so it is not always 3 meals a day. Sometimes there just isn't time for me to eat at mealtime if the kids are having a bad day. I've bought the "right" sized plates etc, to make sure I'm not having huge portions.

I guess I just eat too much. Probably too many rounds of toast and jam when I need a pick me up.

I do usually have a substantial snack when the kids are in bed. But I'm still breastfeeding my toddler through the night. I can get to sleep the first few times, but without that extra food I find I am too hungry to fall back asleep after the 3am feed.

Sorry, that's a bit long. Just musing really. Any constructive thoughts appreciated.

Many people have said it but you need more protein, and cut out one of the helpings of toast.

Out of interest, when you say "too many rounds of toast", how much are you talking? I am a tall, active, slim but not skinny person who loves my food and eats generously, and I basically never eat more than two slices of toast as part of a meal, or rarely a single slice as a snack.

I've lost over 30 kilos over the past 4 months, and it has been driven by a complete diet overhaul. Low carb and low sugar has been a revelation.

Breakfast
Protein smoothie - greek yoghurt, strawberries, spinach, ice, almond milk, water, protein powder

Lunch
Salad and protein/soup/scrambled eggs + broccoli

Dinner
Stir fry/steak + vegetables/ fish three times a week + salad

Rice/potato/pasta are a sometimes food. Once a week I'll have one. If I'm really craving some potato I'll roast some sweet potato. Likewise bread, once a week. Chocolate and cheese are my downfall; if I have a craving I will have a small amount

Toast made with home baked bread is going to be vastly more calorific than a standard bought loaf - the slices are bigger. And you won't be eating all that toast dry...

More protein to make you feel more satisfied
Some form of vegetable (or fruit to a lesser extent) every time you eat
The carbs are the smallest thing on the plate

Greennarmalade
The weight drops off me when I am stressed.

Dailycandy
Interesting point. I read there is no such thing as 'big boned' but are there are children who are rounder than others and may not eat as much as those who children who are slimmer. Is it inevitable that these children grow into round adults due to genetics as well as their eating? I have friends/ family members who are overweight/obese - the majority were big or at least chubby as children.

Just a thought, how big/thick are your slices of homemade bread?
I'm also a big fan of making my own, but because the texture of homemade is different(better ), i really struggle to slice mine as thinly as you would get if you bought hovis. My slices of homemade are easily twice the thickness of shop bought bread if not more.

I don't think there's anything wrong with bread in moderation, but I know if I eat a lot of it I pile on the pounds. I think you could cut it back to a slice once or twice a week with some homemade soup or stew or something rather than basing a meal/snack or two a day on bread.

@aapple we have to start with our natural shape and metabolism. I'm short and tend to apple shape with all my excess weight on my tummy (which is the most unhealthy). My friend is tall with broad shoulders and hips, but a narrow waist, and an enviably flat stomach. dh is tall and lanky and lean, and never puts on weight, whatever he eats.

Then we have to understand food, food combinations and how it affects us. I can lose weight on a low-fat calorie restricted diet. It's not fun, I feel hungry and for me it is unsustainable in the long term. I can also lose weight on a low carb, higher fat diet (which for me is sustainable long term). But what I can't do is lose weight on a combination of both. Potato with lots of butter - and to be honest what is the point of a potato if it's not fried or mashed in butter - or home-made pizza base with lots of cheese, macaroni cheese, home-made Mexican with beans, chilli, sour cream, avodaco... These are all the things that have combinations of carbs and fat that cause my weight to balloon.

Then we have to work out what works for our lifestyle and our habits.

How many slices of toast are in your two ‘snacks’?

@YukoandHiro

You also need to eat properly at breakfast. Just having a cup of green tea means you start the day in starvation mode and your body clings to every calorie. You need a big protein heavy breakfast. Three small meals plus three snacks really helps glycemic control.

Starvation mode is a myth.

www.insider.com/truth-about-starvation-mode-and-weight-loss-2020-5

@aapple

As for My Fitness Pal. For me, it just leads to a cycle of obsessing about food, binging, putting on even more weight. And then eventually something upsetting happens in life and I sort of punish myself by going low calorie and really leaning into the hunger pangs. I lose weight, but it's not healthy. And I think not sustainable with little kids. I do get the attraction, and I've learned a lot about what foods have a surprising amount of calories, but I won't be calorie logging now.

Oh, you sound a bit like me. You're right to be cautious about too much counting/weighing in that case and it's great that you can see this about yourself. Honestly, having now read the entire thread if I was you I'd bin the bread for a month (or half it), change nothing else and see how you go weight-wise. It's something so simple to do (not easy, but no counting involved). If you get the mad bread cravings that I do (I posted earlier about it) then it's probably a sign that what other folk have said about insulin spikes and cravings is probably right. I've no idea about that stuff apart from what I read on here - I just know once I start on homemade bread I can't stop. Banana bread is my worst - I can eat an entire loaf.

@Faith50 There is absolutely something called ‘big boned’. Look around you. There is absolutely no way I will ever have the same stature as my 5ft10 size 6 best pal. When I’m a size 12 my collar bone, hip bones and ribs are visible and there is absolutely no chance of me ever reducing my pelvis size, or lengthening my spine. Even my 2 kids are different frames (both perfectly healthy).

For the night feed - Nature Valley protein bars

Eating bread makes me ravenous. Obsessively, irritably, reach for everything in the house ravenous. You don't need to cut it out but if you are obese and having problems with snacking, that would be the easiest thing to change. Try just avoiding wheat for three days. You can still eat carbs - brown rice, potatoes, barley, oats. Increase your protein. See if it helps. To me, the difference is really noticeable. There is a massive difference between actual hunger - a quite pleasant, easily tolerable pang, and craving, which is like someone poking your brain every two seconds, hissing: Eat! Eat! Eat!

Also - toast with butter and jam can easily be 200cals or more per slice. That's a 600cal snack if you eat 3 slices. You could have a curry and rice for that. Or a steak, salad and potato wedges.

When you say "toast" or "rice" what quantities are we talking?

Sadly at my age I have realised that if I want to lose weight I need to cut out all sugar and limit my carbs to 2 servings a day. What I consider a serving would be about 200 calories, so 1 cup of rice or 2 slices of bread.

Iusedtobeassmug
I eat carbs with one meal per day whether that be bread, rice or potatoes. I can take or leave pasta.

I have tried every diet out there. All successful in the short term but not sustainable. I signed up for www.program10.co.uk/

The mental change his huge. Started on 4th jan, lost nearly 1.5 stone, I don’t feel hungry, I haven’t binged. Your calories are specific to you, there are loads of recipes and a private Facebook group for support. You get a coach and there are live and recorded workouts if you want to do them. It’s all on line. I’m signed up to the next course.

@aapple

I make my own bread, but yeah, probably should eat less toast. I'm still not sure that cutting out all carbs (bar vegetables) is an example I want to set my kids though.

They will only notice if you make a thing out of it.

If you make your own bread, you could be eating a thousand calories in a snack if you have a few slices of toast. Home made bread is denser and slices cut more thickly might weigh 75g - that's 200 cals before you've added butter (another 100 cals) and jam. Three or four slices of that between meals is giving you 1k calories on top of your healthy meals. You are breastfeeding but check how much extra you need to eat during this time. I don;t think it is that much.

You may be eating too much healthy food, calories are calories. Cut down on bread, peanut butter and jam. Eat small amounts of dark chocolate. Bulk meals out with vegetables.

I got bigger on a healthy diet, I was just eating too much.

It's a bit sad that the OP's homemade bread has been cast as such a villain. It may be calorific but surely swapping this for more processed version with more salt and preservatives isn't to be encouraged?

Lots of good advice here, but I thought I’d also note that you say if your bread is homemade, your ‘slice or two’ of toast could be significantly larger than a normal approx 100 cal slice of bread.

I mean obviously homemade bread is amazing so I kind of hate saying ‘normal’ for store bought, but it was the easiest way to express it.

I know when I slice homemade bread, the slices are nowhere near as thin as the packaged kind, and they’re often taller as well. It might be worth weighing your average slice to get a real idea of how much you’re eating there.

I think it was mentioned upthread, but not sure if you saw. Have you spoken to your GP, to rule out any underlying health conditions, such as an underactive thyroid? If not, it would be worth making an appointment.

Reading your opening posts, you talk a lot about 'healthy foods' but that doesn't always equate to 'low calorie foods'. You can still eat too many calories of things that are otherwise doing your body good!

In my experience, exercise alone is usually insufficient for long term, significant weight loss, but that it compliments calorie restricted dieting. This is what you'll need to do, but it needn't be onerous. You'll probably have a base metabolism of about 1700-2000 calories/day - so if you are eating about 2000 it may still be enough to cause weight-gain.

I'd look at eating between 1200-1500 calories a day, to see weight loss of 2-3lb a week. Make sure though, that you eat carefully to avoid cravings and to fill yourself up. High fat breakfasts with slow release carbs. Don't give up any food group, just concentrate on whole fat versions of things (more filling), low gluten, low processed or synthetic sugars, lower-starch versions of foods where possible (e.g. wholewheat or lentil pasta, and brown rice).

The recipes in the Fast 800 book are pretty good to be honest, and following them might help to start you off? Two slices of toast and jam could be about 200-250 calories, which is quite a lot as a snack.

@longestlurkerever

It's a bit sad that the OP's homemade bread has been cast as such a villain. It may be calorific but surely swapping this for more processed version with more salt and preservatives isn't to be encouraged?

Unfortunately it is to be encouraged if the OP wants to lose weight. Unless OP you start to think of one slice of your homemade bread as the equivalent to 2 slices of shop bought sliced bread?

I would say that you probably do need to think about eating differently to the rest of the family. If they are normal weight, their diet shouldn't change. It doesn't matter if they see you making steps to get healthier. That is a good example to set them. You should look at the fast 800.