Intrusive thoughts

[Mumtotwoxo]

I have just had a baby 10 weeks ago. I was doing well apart from small panic attacks from my anxiety that I’ve suffered with for years. The other day out the blue I started having intense panic attacks where I can’t sleep and intrusive thoughts that are extremely scary and real. I feel like a bad mum. Has anyone suffered this too? Reached out to my gp and now referred to a MH nurse.

I have intrusive thoughts too, they are horrible and scary and mostly about loved ones, I have been troubled for many years and its exhausting, I worry constantly that my children or husband will die, some days are worse than others.
When I was a child I worried about the threat of nuclear war, you can get help, don't feel silly or embarrassed about it.

@Fatarseflanagan09 are you seeking any help or on medication for this? I have been questioning my own sanity thinking I’m going insane and crazy??

It’s 36 years since I had my first but I’ve never forgotten the cold panic when I had my first intrusive thoughts when he was about the same age. I’m so glad you felt able to talk to someone. Try not to worry, it really is controllable and it really does get better. Keep talking to people, it helps 💐

@Gilead thank you for sharing. Did you feel like you were going crazy and questioning your sanity? X

Yeah OP these thoughts can be horrible, thoughts of harming baby etc, you can really feel you are losing your mind. You are not, its OCD called Pure O.

I’ve experienced intrusive thoughts, mine were linked to PTSD though, so not sure what to suggest

@HaHaVeryBunny thanks for sharing. What was your treatment for this? X

@Newfor2021 what help do you receive for yours? X

www.theguardian.com/society/2013/aug/31/pure-ocd-the-naked-truth this might help you understand it a bit more.
It is particularly common in women who have given birth.
Take care

Mumtotwoxo I thought I was insane, becoming schizophrenic, that I would be locked up forever. I was too scared to tell anyone what the thoughts were. You would be amazed at how many women think they are going to hurt their child. They don’t. Medication helped. I went on to have another three children. All four are happy, healthy and well adjusted. It will be okay, but I know it doesn’t feel like it. 💐

@HaHaVeryBunny thank you x

@Gilead you are describing exactly how I feel and think just now. Did you feel you were hearing things as well as thoughts if that makes sense? Like the little voice in your head being against you? Thank you for your helpful messages, can I ask what medication or help you got for this? X

OP CBT really helped. You will have an intrusive thought and then relabel this as OCD, it’s not you, or your personality, it's OCD.
There is a great website here hope4ocd.com/foursteps.php
To begin to understand and start CBT for you.
It can be overcome and you will go back to the person you are pre- OCD.

Pure OCD
It will get better with meds, CBT and time.
It is quite common but nobody talks about it. The fact that you are distressed by the intrusive thoughts shows that you will never act on them. No one ever does act on them because they are so disgusted by them.

If I feel out of control in my life, the thoughts increase as if to show I am also not in control of my mind. Lockdown has been difficult because of course I am not in control but the virus/government is in control.

I keep busy so I dont have time to dwell so I do crosswords incessantly. I also sleep a lot.

I suspect that because you feel overwhelmed and out of control in your new role as a Mum, this has given rise to this situation. If you have a dp, keep communicating. Push hcp for meds and CBT.

The things in your mind wont happen.

@Mumtotwoxo I felt all of those and I’d do things to try and prove that I either was or wasn’t going mad, listen for ‘instructions’ on the radio or television. Of course there was nothing there. I spent a lot of time shaking, crying, begging my Dh to reassure me that I was okay. I could barely function.
I took anti depressants and had counselling and was fine. The thoughts get further apart, a minute, ten minutes, a morning. They start to have less of an impact and you learn to stop looking for them ( tooth with a hole in)!
After a while you realise it’s been a couple of weeks. It’s not as linear as that, but it really does ease. 💐

@Serena1977 it’s like I have no control of my own thoughts or mind it’s terrifying and along with the panic attacks I just can’t cope. Thank you for sharing. What others signs are ocd? X

@Gilead did you feel your mind felt more relaxed soon after starting medication and you were back in control of your own mind? X

@Mumtotwoxo it takes a while for all Meds to kick in. They’re not a miracle but in time they give you a clear enough head to deal with things.

@Gilead thank you for your help and advice I will keep note of this x

OCD is obsessive compulsive disorder.

I started off with the compulsive side such as if I hold my breath for 10 seconds my family wont die. Checking switches, counting etc

Then it changed to the obsessive part
Obsession with the news, certain sad events and worrying whether I would become like the person that had done something terrible. Obsession with Aids or cancer, hygiene etc
I'm sorry you are in the midst of it and sadly it takes time and professional help. But you will get there just as I have.

@Mumtotwoxo feel free to message if you need it.

@Mumtotwoxo here is another link about the connection between OCD and pregnancy, it seems to spike around then. As hormones begin to settle you may well see an improvement too, along with meds and CBT.
Just remember you are not crazy or losing your mind. And are not going to act on any of these intrusive thoughts, thats all they are annoying, irrational thoughts with no grounding in reality.
You have a condition at the moment that WILL be treated and you WILL get back to who you were before this episode.

www.ocduk.org/ocd/ocd-during-pren

@HaHaVeryBunny that has helped massively for me to understand exactly what is going on. When I explained to doctor he mentioned nothing about ocd just said it’s postnatal depression? Is it possible the MH nurse will go into more depth with me tomorrow regarding this if I ask? X

[quote Mumtotwoxo]@HaHaVeryBunny that has helped massively for me to understand exactly what is going on. When I explained to doctor he mentioned nothing about ocd just said it’s postnatal depression? Is it possible the MH nurse will go into more depth with me tomorrow regarding this if I ask? X[/quote]
Oh yes, definitely bring it up the the MH nurse, thankfully there is a lot more understanding of the link between OCD/PURE O and pregnancy.
Your MH will be well aware of this and will be able to get you the help you need, to get you back to being yourself
Best of luck for tomorrow, you will feel so much better being able to talk to a professional and get reassurance from them x

@HaHaVeryBunny @Fatarseflanagan09 @Newfor2021 @Gilead @Serena1977 I have a question for you all. I was given 2mg diazepam tablets to take to calm me down due to me not sleeping. I’m taking my first one tonight and I’m terrified I suffer a panic attack after taking it. Has any of you used this medication short term to help you? Thank you all for your other advice too x