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Original poster

Things you do that your Mother doesn't approve of/thinks are unladylike

381 replies

noirchatsdeux · 01/03/2021 17:57

Lighthearted!

My mother thinks it's terrible that I drink beer. Ladies don't drink beer. I'm 52 and she still pouts when she knows I've had some!

Any other unladylike ladies on here?

OP posts:

Anystarinthesky · 03/03/2021 01:34

When I was growing up, the word 'fart' was not used, 'pimp' or 'pimping' were the preferred words.

Bit of a flaw in that terminology!

PyongyangKipperbang · 03/03/2021 01:35

I can honestly say that the worst thing I have done to my daughters is not to police their style but to accidentally emulate it! Or strictly speaking, them copy me.....

I am a mid/late 40's punk/goth/rock style woman. So when I picked up DD from a party wearing almost the same outfit as her (I had been at work when she left, had no idea what she was wearing) , I was never forgiven! My mother doesnt care what I wear, but my daughters have decided to change their whole style because I am the ultimate embarrassment!

tobee · 03/03/2021 02:03

My dm doesn't disapprove of anything that I know of; for it being unladylike that is.

My df on the other hand, whilst being pretty liberated for an 85 year old, nevertheless disapproves of hoodies, me wanting to be addressed as "Ms" or, even worse, not using any title at all ! He also thinks wearing green nail varnish (and similar colours) is very dodgy. I think he associates it with rather worryingly avant- grade 1950s types who may have not been that "clean." If my dsis or I do any of the above he still thinks we are being rebellious teens. Despite the fact we are both in our 50s.

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 03/03/2021 02:04

My mother would leave the country if she knew I had a tattoo.

JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows · 03/03/2021 02:07

@GoLightlyontheEarth

This thread is hilarious but also quite sad. What restricted lives so many women led, and still lead.

Yes I agree.

I lot of it seems to be cloaked in the shame of simply being a woman and having the nerve to step out in public in a way that is perfectly normal but still offends every Tom, Dick and Harry.

BrokenNotDead · 03/03/2021 02:41

My mum indirectly criticised me once, my daughters were 2 and 3 and chasing each other and my niece's birthday party (my newly 8 year old niece was wrestling and winning with my 8 year old son) (it made a change from them systemically trying to kill each other).
She said loud and proud 'I would never have allowed you and your sister to do that in public!'
I replied with 'Well you left when I was 10, I don't know how to be a mum! Luckily I know how to be a dad because he didn't abandon me!'
That was the 1st time I'd seen her in 14 years, she didn't even know I had kids.

PyongyangKipperbang · 03/03/2021 02:54

@BrokenNotDead

My mum indirectly criticised me once, my daughters were 2 and 3 and chasing each other and my niece's birthday party (my newly 8 year old niece was wrestling and winning with my 8 year old son)

(it made a change from them systemically trying to kill each other). She said loud and proud 'I would never have allowed you and your sister to do that in public!' I replied with 'Well you left when I was 10, I don't know how to be a mum! Luckily I know how to be a dad because he didn't abandon me!' That was the 1st time I'd seen her in 14 years, she didn't even know I had kids.

Bloody good for you.

And your dad too!

Jamboree01 · 03/03/2021 02:56

‘Bovver (bother) boots’ (paraboots) as in the wearer usually inflicted violence (ie the army). They were army surplus and became fashion.

ememem84 · 03/03/2021 06:59

[quote honeylulu]@ememem84

I do have a sister! Hello Jennifer if that's you![/quote]
Haha!!!

I’ve had the last laugh over the lockdowns though. My long hair has been easy to deal with. Dm and dsis with their Pixie cuts though....have started to look like fuzzy mushrooms.

Crayfishforyou · 03/03/2021 07:12

Eating any kind of food I haven’t made myself.
If I ruin a dinner I get a takeaway. If DM ruins a dinner she will apologise profusely and attempt to rescue it in some way, usually rendering it even more disgusting. Then we all have to eat it to make her feel less bad.
We were driving to stay there once and got caught in a massive traffic jam. It was gone 9pm by the time we got to a services to get something to eat and midnight before we arrived. DM ranted about the ridiculousness of buying food when she had plenty at home and all we had to do was wait.
She never does have plenty of food at home, most of the food in the fridge has gone off because she won’t waste it.
Shop bought sandwiches are literally evil personified.

I love shop bought sandwiches

HeartShapedMoon · 03/03/2021 07:24

DH and I have a successful company, work extremely hard and subsequently live in a very large house and have put all the kids though private school. I do all the office side of things, he does all the out and about side of things and quotes etc.

When talking to her friends or anyone at all really, DM refers to it as "my son in laws company".

Needallthesleep · 03/03/2021 08:05

This was super cathartic at 3am when I was awake because I was angry at my mum who made it very clear this afternoon that I was failing the children by not being a stay at home mum.

My senior career is such a disappointment to her.

RosesAndHellebores · 03/03/2021 08:20

Oh crap in the last 24 hours I have said the following:

"It's yes not yeah"
"DD, you need to deal with that bra strap"
"Tut you spent £25 on takeaway lunch when there's pasta and pizza in the fridge"

I hope they aren't on this thread

nameisnotimportant · 03/03/2021 08:27

Eating anything while walking in the street/on my way to somewhere and saying fuck

VegetarianDeathCult · 03/03/2021 08:28

@RosesAndHellebores

Oh crap in the last 24 hours I have said the following:

"It's yes not yeah"
"DD, you need to deal with that bra strap"
"Tut you spent £25 on takeaway lunch when there's pasta and pizza in the fridge"

I hope they aren't on this thread

Why, was the bra strap threatening strangle passersby or something?

RosesAndHellebores · 03/03/2021 08:33

No, it was dangling down her arm and making her look untidy!

SugarfreeBlitz · 03/03/2021 08:45

@StillGoingToWork

My weight. My fashion sense. Not dyeing my grey hair or keeping it short like women over 40 are supposed to. High heels (trashy, apparently) PDAs. Horrific.

Me paying for things instead of my husband (I earn much more than him) Me earning much more than my husband

Quite similar!

My weight too! (Constantly fat shamed and still dealing with that)
My fashion sense too! (and being "fat" should I wear that?)
My hair being longer- even though I passed thirty shock horror! (She kept telling me I was too old for longer hair!)
My honesty, because I favour honest and direct communication over smoke signals, cloaks and daggers!
My career ( how can I possibly be successful, because she wasnt?!)
Me buying anything (money should stay in the bank and you should live in poverty)

Fortunately I don't listen and she thinks she punishes me with the silent treatment, but I've had so much therapy now that I just get stronger and get on with doing what I want to do. Its sad some mothers try to control their daughters and try to make them into themselves. This wouldn't be so bad if they were feminists and free, independant career women, making intelligent choices and thriving in life!

PopsicleHustler · 03/03/2021 08:45

She doesnt approve of that we dont celebrate Christmas or Halloween. I reverted to a religion where Christmas, Easter and Halloween, it's not part of the religion. However, we still do birthdays and our religious celebration as well TWICE A YEAR A, where they have nice gifts, toys and food. Shes disgusted that they wake up to nothing on Christmas morning. But it's a normal day to us. The kids are happy and not missing out on anything...
She also doesn't approve that I married my Dh. She hates him with a passion and me too for that matter. I wish I had a relationship with her. But we are nc now for years due to her MH and being extremely frustrating and unreasonable.

PopsicleHustler · 03/03/2021 08:47

She also hates smoking, drugs and tattoos. My younger sister has and does all of the above and shes her perfect little angel, whereas I am the bad guy. Who tried to support her and visited her in the mental hospitals and looked after her when my dad left. Tried to support her even after all the names I have been called and hit. And even stood in front of her to get beaten by my sister instead of my mum being beaten for money for heroin.
I have nc with any of them now and it's best off that way. I had a rather terrible childhood. Makes me sad and sick thinking about it.

Notabove25 · 03/03/2021 08:52

I'm 50, my mother is in her 70s, the very last thing she's ever expected of me is to be "ladylike".

redcandlelight · 03/03/2021 09:46

my mother doesn't approve of my husband of 22 years...
she still tries to arrange for me to meet 'men of high standing'

dh is from a very working class family and my in-laws are the most lovely people I know.

Number3BigCupOfTea · 03/03/2021 10:03

Oh wow, that's commitment to being pig-headed!! 22 years in, and she's still hoping you meet higher standing men! 🙈

My last bf, v working class, treated me better and was more of a feminist (although he wouldnt use the word) than any of my middle class entitled boyfriends.

SugarfreeBlitz · 03/03/2021 10:04

Men of "high standing" Why do you need those Hahaha. You can be your own high standing woman

I suppose it harks back to the marrying a man for money thing. How quaint. These days it's more like "Be the one your parents wanted you to marry"

Number3BigCupOfTea · 03/03/2021 10:13

Yes, love that Cher quote on this, "Mom, i am a rich man".

Deep down, my mum must know i dont need a man, because although im not rich, far from it (i am financially secure though) she would be suspicious of anybody who might express an interest in me!
But now im 50, nobody could possibly want me! Probably true but if they did i would judge the situation better than my mother!

SugarfreeBlitz · 03/03/2021 10:16

Re But now im 50, nobody could possibly want me!

It's not about if they want you, it's if they are good enough FOR you.

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