I’m just going to put it out there, kangaroos scare the crap out of me

[Wellthisisallfuckingmarvellous]

I’ve just watched a video of a kangaroo banging aggressively on some glass.

It’s scary as hell. Then I made the mistake of googling kangaroos attack.

It’s a slow work day.

Just me? Or is there a benignly normal animal that scares the bejesus out of you.

Sheep.

Gossipy baaaastards.

They aren't even discreet as they stare us out and judge us as we walk past.

Evil fuckers are sheep.

Most kangaroos will hop away the minute they see you.

The ones you need to watch for are magpies. Little balls of evil who will try to peck your eyes out. I've been left bleeding by the fuckers just for walking along 'their' road.
MIL feeds them and has hundreds of them all over her backyard like a scene from The Birds. She can't understand why I won't go out and admire them.

Kangaroos are lovely, but the big Reds are a bit terrifying. My husband was playing golf yesterday and managed to putt a ball between a kangas legs (the golf course is full of them). They are surprisingly soft to pet (in the zoo), and they have fabulous eyelashes.

Dolphins on the other hand are bastards. I was swimming at the beach one day and spotted a fin not ten feet away. I nearly shat myself and pegged it out of the water screaming SHARK!!!. It was a fucking dolphin.

As has been said, most Aussie animals, kangaroos included will avoid you if given the chance. However if you frighten them or corner them then they will become aggressive. My neighbour used to raise orphan joeys and they were the sweetest things. Even once fully grown and released into the wild they would often come back to visit and get a cuddle. I do remember a local man got knocked out while running once - he didn't do anything wrong but came around a corner and startled a big male roo. That's just unlucky, it's pretty rare.

I don't like large birds such as emus, ostriches or cassowaries. They give you no personal space, surround you if they think you might have food and the combination or claws and beaks scares me.

@CautiouslyPessimistic

Moths. They flitter flutter in your face in the dark with no warning They're butterflies gone wrong and they have those weird head feely things. Bleurgh.

This. Shudders...

@JaneJeffer

I don't think you need to worry too much about this unless you live in the Australian Bush.

You don’t just find them in the outback in Aus. You can drive 20 minutes out of Sydney centre and find them congregating in the suburbs. And yes they can be extremely scary. When they rear up on their tails they can be as tall as 7 feet, and can knock a grown man over with a kick.

Llamas are bastards. Spitty, kicky bastards.

All long-necked birds are psychopaths.

Dolphins are judgmental twats. And I've swum with the tossers.

Hippos are murderous poo-flinging crazies.

I like snakes though. They're cute.

Oh yeah cassowaries and emus. Absolutely fucking terrifying!

@alwayscrashinginthesamecar1

Oh yeah cassowaries and emus. Absolutely fucking terrifying!

Emus I just have a healthy respect for. Cassowaries are terrifying - velociraptors with a knife for a face.

No, Emus terrify me, ever since I looked one in the eye and could see there is absolutely no soul in those animals. Mind you, I kind of feel the same about ducks, but at least I think I could (probably) win a fight with a duck.

[quote Wellthisisallfuckingmarvellous]Fuck you Roger!

metro.co.uk/2016/05/01/sinister-video-of-kangaroo-trying-to-get-inside-will-haunt-you-5852397/[/quote]

Woah Those claws

@Superstardjs

I have an irrational fear of manatees.

That's, errm, a very niche fear. What do you think they will do if you steal their lettuce ?

@Shinyletsbebadguys

I was vaguely aware that they can be nasty buggers but then so can badgers and I'm less likely to meet a kangaroo wandering the streets of essex.

I shall keep my fear for the secret badger invasion being planned.

Kangaroos are fine, just don't stand up or square up to it. We see a few on the roads at night, while they bad to hit, wombats worse, can rip the guts out the car with their rock hard ass, it's like running over a boulder

It's bloody emus that are evil, beady eyed devils though. I was chased by one, it just looked at me and started coming at me, don't know why.

I think all animals are fantastic. I will say the big red kangaroos are quite intimidating when you are up close to them, I love the little kangaroo island Greys that you get they are the softest and a much smaller size.

My DD was once attacked by a duck 🦆, it was hilarious( she thought so too) and my other DD got butted by a goat.

The one creature I do hate is daddy long legs( not the spider type but that weird flying thing you get in the Uk, a crane fly maybe?)
A useless thing that fly’s at you in a rubbish way, bounces off things and leaves legs behind.

Well I’m Australian and the only time I have been attacked by an animal was by some psycho swans at Stratford-Upon-Avon.

Hippos are terrifyingly fast on land and ostriches seem to have no fear.

@squeekums, we fed emus once, ( only once ) it was terrifying!

Quokkas are tiny kangaroos and are cute. Especially when doing selfies with Chris Hemsworth and Roger Federer.

Quokkas are the happiest thing ever! Love Rottnest island!

@alwayscrashinginthesamecar1

Oh yeah cassowaries and emus. Absolutely fucking terrifying!

Aww cassowaries are sweet. Look at this fella trying to steal my DD’s toast a few years ago.

Pigs freak me out. They've always got an evil glint in their eye.

I love fruit bats with their little Kelpie puppy faces.

Naked mole-rats, and Star-nosed moles, but for different reasons.

Naked mole-rats just evoke a really strong disgust reaction in me - they are burrowing rats, they are furless (only other mammals that are is humans), they live in writhing colonies like ants, they are only technically warm blooded, but behave like cold-blooded creatures. They are just wrong in so many ways, i’d be surprised if anyone “liked” them.

Star-Nosed Moles, however, have obviously burrowed up from the nether circles of Hell, and are demonic horrors the like of which man should not kno wot of.

Glad we sorted that out