What's the strangest call you've ever had from your child's school

[listsandbudgets]

Pancake day always makes me remember this one.

You know that cold feeling when the phone goes and its school? Is my child ill, hurt, in trouble etc. etc.

A few years ago mine went on pancake day. The school receptionist said "we're sorry about this Lists but Lists-junior has been hit over the head with a frying pan"

(turned out thankfully it was only a very light, one and they'd been having a pancake race when he tripped, the boy behind him tripped and somehow in the tangle the frying pan whacked him on the head!)

Has anyone had a stranger call than that?

DS2 had recently moved into the 2-3s room at nursery. They had an internal call from pre-school downstairs about a rapidly growing number of balls rolling around the car park. They checked and found DS2 happily shooting the ball pit balls out of the 6ft high window.
No balls allowed in the 2-3 room for the next 10 months...
The room manager was too amused and impressed to be too cross with him and was giggling when she told me at pick up.

He's the kind of child who climbed to the top of the soft play play frame... on the outside of the structure... or could lose in a 3 man tent when he curled into a tiny ball and fell asleep at the foot of his brother's sleeping bag.

In school last year, he was in early for a sports club. DS1 (same shoe size) ended up having a meltdown because he couldn't find his shoes and had to go in in trainers. DS2 had left his own shoes and yesterday's uniform behind after football the previous day, and gone in wearing DS1's. DS1 has ASD and couldn't cope with resolving it himself and fortunately I was helping in school. I ended up going in and saying "Please can DS2 take DS1's shoes off his feet, and get his own shoes out of his football bag then deliver DS1's shoes down the coridor"

This wasn't long after DS2 failed to have his school photo taken because he was in his own world and failed to join the right queues.

I think his teachers tend to be relieved that they can talk to me face to face rather than relying on the phone

DD 2's 2nd day at school, I get a phone call your DD is unconscious in the playground can you come and take her to hospital!

Got a call from nursery when DS was maybe just 3, to say “Nunette is walking around the garden saying very extreme swear words repeatedly. He’s said it to a number of members of staff, can we speak to you about it at pick up please”.

Could not get out of them what it was over the phone.

At pick up, I go to collect DS and staff gravely tell me he’s said “fuck it” many times and they don’t understand as he’s never said anything like it, has he heard it at home? or on public transport? etc etc. I can’t think what’s happened- he’s NEVER heard that language at home- it’s only us there!

As I get him from the garden, DS says hello, and when I ask what he’s been up to, gestures through the chain link fence to the field beyond, and says very clearly “foot kick!”

On my way out, I enquired whether in fact the football team had been training on the playing field earlier today.
“Oh yes” they said cheerily “and Nunette loved watching them! Let us know whether you get to the bottom of the bad language over the weekend!”

@Prufrocks

“Good afternoon Ms Frocks, we need to have a chat about little Pru. We’ve had new security cameras installed in the playground and he’s taken to flashing his willy at them.”

Nearly spat my tea out 🤣🤣🤣

DC was doing some sort of display/presentation about adventure /exploration in the Arctic, and asked if she could take in my old skis that were in the attic - hadn't been used since pre-kids era. Off they went, in their ski bag. At the end of the school day, teacher said he'd prefer it if, in future, full hip flasks of schnapps like the one the kids found at the bottom of the ski bag were kept at home.

Nothing like being greeted by a manner of staff with a slight headtilt and "Mrs Sam...if we could just have a word..."
Mind you, the one they missed - cooking pancakes at breakfast club eldest DS put his hand flat on electric hob (had only seen a gas job so wanted to see if it really was hot"🤦🏼‍♀️ staff member gave him a wet paper towel and sent him back to lessons...thankfully receptionist was on the hall and noticed him holding his hand strangely...followed by swift trip to A&E and huge bandage for us, and an ofsted inspection for the school 🤷🏼‍♀️

I think the strangest is the one where they called me and said they were referring us to Social Services because my partner had refused to collect our child ( I worked an hour and a half away and this was at 1pm). Drove there immediately to get some absolute gobbledegook about my DD "disclosing" that she sometimes swapped beds with her Dad and they were concerned. Plus she'd had an accident and Dad had refused to get her.

I got home and he played me the answerphone message they left saying she was fine, all cleaned up, and he didn't need to come for her. They hadn't even directly spoken to him. She has a bowel condition and likes sleepovers with me in the big bed when her tummy hurts as it makes her feel better. Social Worker thought they were barking when he read out the referral to us. We figured out after a couple more incidents, including one where they tried to dictate medication to us, they just don't like helping a child with a medical condition

Blu tac stuck in hair.

Can we have permission to cut your child out of their coat as she’s stuck in it.

When DS was in pre-school I got a call one day asking if I could find my neighbour as her son had bumped his head or something but they couldn't get hold of his mum, probably because we have terrible phone signal in our village and they knew I had a landline, so I went and knocked and neighbour was at home and rushed off to pre-school!

When he was in Reception we were pulled aside by his teacher one day to say that he and his friend had been merrily peeing into the trees on the school field.

I also got pulled to one side by DD's teacher when she was 8 to say that she'd had to have stern words with her about taking too long to get changed after PE, she was terribly concerned about there being some 9yr old boys in the class who might see. That one annoyed me.

After waiting in a phone queue to get through to HMRC for over an hour, the school office rang my mobile, other line to HMRC duly connected the minute I answered my mobile so I cut it off thinking the school call would be more important. Teacher had called to tell me that 'DS was having a wonderful da, and they wanted to let me know!' .... thanks for that, I had to ring back through and wait for another hour 😖

'Day'

Oh and after school club

Erm Mrs chips we have to tell you we needed to speak to middle chips today

Me:oh!? Whst did she do

Then: well she was on the swing and her shoe came off. Before we could say anything to her she should 'oie' ds'(her brother) go get my fucking shoe'

Me: oh god..... What did he say

Them:oh he went and got it

When she came out apparently 'I tried to ask nicely but it didn't come out that way'

Sigh.

When Covid first started the only precaution was that if a family member had symptoms nobody should go to school etc.
Dropped DS (Y6) at school and hadn’t even got home before I got a rather arsey call wanting to know why I had sent DS to school if his sister was at home with a cough. Only she wasn’t and he had waved her off to school with me as we got in the car to take him to school.
Apparently he had been telling his friends but a TA had overheard and when grilled he panicked and insisted it was true!
A talk was had

Oh god so many

DS1 aged 6, just before he was diagnosed with ASD: phone call from school, ultra-serious, I was hauled in and confronted by three members of staff about an incident of "inappropriate sexualised behaviour" in the boys' toilets. After speaking to DS1 about it (they hadn't allowed him to explain himself, so had no idea) it turned out he'd copied the Horrid Henry scene where he pulls his pants down and runs around with his arse hanging out. To DS1, if it was funny in the book, it's funny in reality.

DS1 aged 3 at nursery: hauled in by very irate teacher to collect him after he turned all the taps on in the toilets "to see what would happen". I was greeted icily and handed a mop

DS1 aged 4 at nursery: hauled in after the Easter Celebration (which I couldn't make because I had to work) because he'd kicked all the heads off the daffodils in the garden, because they were "too wobbly and yellow and made him feel horrible".

DS1 aged 5 in Reception: he was carried out of the dining room screaming "You should be fired" at the dinner lady who took away his Cornish pasty because he refused to eat it with a knife and fork. He'd tried to explain to her the history of the Cornish pasty and that the purpose of the pastry was to give you something to hold, and "Nobody wants to see the inside of a pasty, that's the whole point". She already hated him because on his first day he asked whether the pasta was al dente.

DS1 aged 14, he and his friends staged a protest against "being treated like animals" in the school canteen by bringing in a tablecloth, placemats and proper cutlery/glasses.

DS1 aged 15: he'd written his own version of the school's "Preparedness for Learning" code (which was very rigid and petty, admittedly) featuring points including "Students must leave their brains at Reception before proceeding to the classrooms" and "If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding".

He's 18 now and I'm so relieved we don't have to deal with schools any more.

@Prufrocks

“Good afternoon Ms Frocks, we need to have a chat about little Pru. We’ve had new security cameras installed in the playground and he’s taken to flashing his willy at them.”

Like the time the nursery had to call me to tell me my son and a group of boys were doing wees behind the bushes in the playground and “waving their bits around”. It was made clear to me who they considered the ringleader to be.

I work in a school office. One sprung to mind where I had to call two sets of parents. One parent to pick up a child who had been lavishly sick everywhere. The other parent to pick up a child whose head has been lavishly vomited over! She had definitely chosen the wrong place to sit that day!

When DD was in reception I received a call from school at 4pm to say she went missing at lunch time (went to the toilet by herself and didn’t come back), which sparked a search, that she was found in the boys toilets with another little boy from her class and they were taking turns to drink water from the urinals 🤢 her teacher told me it was a first! 🙈

@MoreRainbowsPlease

I once got a phone call where I thought the receptionist said ds1's vomit had come out. I did think it was a weird way of telling me he'd been sick. Ds1 hated being sick and would become quite hysterical when he was so I asked how he was. The receptionist said he was fine and that he said he felt much better now. I thought that was a bit strange so told her he was normally in a right state when he was sick. Oh no! she said he's not been sick, his GROMMET has come out! She said he was quite ok and that he said his ear feels better. She'd only rung as they hadn't ever had this happen before so she thought she'd better let me know in case I needed to do something. They'd put the grommet in a bag for me to collect at home time.

My daughter had two sets of grommets and managed to catch all four at varying times whilst at school, all of them came home in little envelopes!

I got a text to say my DD had 'put in a drawer' to see if they had a place in the over subscribed after school club.

I presumed they meant draw and not that my DD was all folded up a drawer somewhere

Famous in our family, my DD aged two managed to get her nursery shut down, and the owner couldn’t carry on any more.

Cue phone call whilst I am at work, first one from DP making little sense, next one from the police, next one from social services, stating my DD had been assaulted by a member of nursery staff!

Find out what actually happened eventually......it was story time, all the little darlings had to sit down, cross legged to listen. My wilful DD at 2 years old, doesn’t want to do this and makes it known in no uncertain terms that she is not going to, and she sits down facing the opposite way to everyone else. The member of staff tapped her on the head with her notepad, and asked her to turn round, DD says “ow” and crosses her arms, refuses to turn round still. Other member of staff goes outside and reports the woman. Within an hour, the police and social services are at the nursery, just as parents are picking their little darlings up!

Nursery closed for a month, then reopened under new ownership. Back my DD goes, no problems from then on.

DD wasn’t hurt in the least, not even marked, but she made the front page of the local press that night!

Not a call , but pulled to one side at school pick up to be told that my then year 1 daughters teacher had been lighting sparklers for the kids for guy fawkes and had set fire to her hair when the match broke and pinged off and hit her! Thankfully she didn't go up in flames and it was really just singed but the poor teacher was terrified to tell me and looked so relieved when I said not to worry.

Last year when one of the office staff were off on holiday the deputy head was helping out.

Get a call one week to say my dd "katy" had left her lunchbag in the car. She wouldn't accept the fact that a)we live 1 min walk from school so no car needed or b) Katy had home lunch. I was very confused but ended it with Mrs M saying she would put Katy down for grab and go for lunch.

The next week, the phone goes, Mrs M again stating Katy had fallen off her scooter on the way to school but was ok. Katy had walked with her siblings and me to school that morning, absolutely no scooters involved. Very confused me again.

2 minutes later the phone goes again, Mrs M laughing her head off, turns out My dd was the only Katy at the school, until the week before when a new one started so when Mrs M was told Katy she just thought of us, until she actually saw Katy and realised she wasn't a Canyon child.

When ds1 was in y11, he was staying behind for revision one night when I got a call from the deputy head to say they locked in an office and police were there as a naked man had got into school and ds had raised the alarm! The poor man had mh issues and had walked the length of the town first, entered the front office and pushed his way past the receptionist. Ds1 happened to be on his way out, witnessed it and ran for help.
The man was detained on the front lawn of school by police.
The head also rang later to check up on ds1 (he was fine). It was a strange day...

Not a telephone call because we didn't have one then, but the School Welfare Officer turned up at my home to question my DM about me telling my teacher that I was "under pressure to do house work". I was 11 and had never done a single second of house work in my life, it was just an excuse I'd thought of for not handing in my homework. My DM was mortified.

Phone call at 9.10, so DS (then aged 8) had only been at school 20 minutes. He'd thrown up. All over his poor teacher, who'd had to get her husband to bring a change of clothes for her. He was in an upstairs classroom and also threw up as he was going down the stairs. 🤦‍♀️

Oh, and the time he fell over. He didn't want to hurt his hands so didn't put them out to save himself and ended up face planting the playground. I turned up and his coat was covered in blood. He'd knocked a tooth out and another was wobbly (baby teeth thankfully) He couldn't eat solid food for a few days. Definitely learned to put his hands out when he fell!