Tell me about the worst boyfriend you ever had and why?

[whatsnewpussycat777]

Mine was a year younger in high school and kissed like a fcking hoover.

I got slagged for that for like forever.

When we were sat on the sofa once he poked my thigh and went 'ooops, cellulite. Need to do something about that'.

It didnt last long after that.

On my 18th birthday (he was 27 - fucking loser), he told me he wanted an open relationship.

I was a bit shocked and said no and he told me he'd already slept with someone the previous night - which was Valentine's Day.

Horrible prick. I then stayed with him for another two months until he dumped me.

When I was 18 and about to go to university, he said to me "I wouldn't bother trying to make friends, you act like you're autistic and just piss people off".

Part of a long pattern of controlling and manipulative behaviour which I won't go into. But that little gem gives you an idea of what a charmer he was.

I had a boyfriend who once stopped in the middle of sex, got dressed and left without saying a word. It was apparently to demonstrate to me that he could do that to me. It was one of the many emotionally abusive things he did over the 2 years we were together ( yes! 2 years!!!! 🙄)

Oh and my second worst was a work-shy slob who sponged money off me, was a World of Warcraft addict and turned out to be secretly gay.

Fortunately my standards have improved a hell of a lot since those days

His cock was tiny like a chipolata and so he only liked to do it from behind, with me bent over a countertop and all I would hear was a sweaty and flaccid slap-slap-slap "UUUH, UUH-UUHHH!!!" and it would all be over in the same space of time that it took you to read that. Then he would whisper in my ear (he could barely reach my ear) "love to bum ya, baby". I should point out, we never did anal, he just liked to delude himself that he did. He would immediately flop out, it was always all too much for him, excitement-wise, so he would then pass out like anaemic fetus on the floor. I would have to prod him with my foot in order to revive him to get him to leave my fucking house - every time.

Oh my word - we have picked some fine gents losers haven't we 😱

@livefornaps

His cock was tiny like a chipolata and so he only liked to do it from behind, with me bent over a countertop and all I would hear was a sweaty and flaccid slap-slap-slap "UUUH, UUH-UUHHH!!!" and it would all be over in the same space of time that it took you to read that. Then he would whisper in my ear (he could barely reach my ear) "love to bum ya, baby". I should point out, we never did anal, he just liked to delude himself that he did. He would immediately flop out, it was always all too much for him, excitement-wise, so he would then pass out like anaemic fetus on the floor. I would have to prod him with my foot in order to revive him to get him to leave my fucking house - every time.

Have you ever considered writing erotic literature

@livefornaps

His cock was tiny like a chipolata and so he only liked to do it from behind, with me bent over a countertop and all I would hear was a sweaty and flaccid slap-slap-slap "UUUH, UUH-UUHHH!!!" and it would all be over in the same space of time that it took you to read that. Then he would whisper in my ear (he could barely reach my ear) "love to bum ya, baby". I should point out, we never did anal, he just liked to delude himself that he did. He would immediately flop out, it was always all too much for him, excitement-wise, so he would then pass out like anaemic fetus on the floor. I would have to prod him with my foot in order to revive him to get him to leave my fucking house - every time.

This made me squeal 😆

Lol to tiny sausage 😂

@livefornaps

His cock was tiny like a chipolata and so he only liked to do it from behind, with me bent over a countertop and all I would hear was a sweaty and flaccid slap-slap-slap "UUUH, UUH-UUHHH!!!" and it would all be over in the same space of time that it took you to read that. Then he would whisper in my ear (he could barely reach my ear) "love to bum ya, baby". I should point out, we never did anal, he just liked to delude himself that he did. He would immediately flop out, it was always all too much for him, excitement-wise, so he would then pass out like anaemic fetus on the floor. I would have to prod him with my foot in order to revive him to get him to leave my fucking house - every time.

HAHAHA

Brilliant. How on earth did you bring yourself to sleep with him more than once?

Not a "boyfriend", just a guy I went on 3 dates with when I was 18... He said I'll pick you up Friday at 8, and I said sorry, I have plans with my friends. His face turned to thunder and he said, "That shit won't be happening anymore now that you're with me."

Needless to say, I immediately told him to fuck off. I'm glad his mask slipped as soon as it did.

I was seeing someone when I was 13 who was later taken to court by his step sister for sexual assault.

Another one was just an really, really nasty piece of work. Completely destroyed my self esteem, I still have flashbacks, twenty years later.

Another was banging prostitutes and gave me several STIs.

Take your pick.

Have you ever considered writing erotic literature

Fucking hell! Laughed so hard.

I went out once with someone who stole the tip I left for the waiter.

@livefornaps

His cock was tiny like a chipolata and so he only liked to do it from behind, with me bent over a countertop and all I would hear was a sweaty and flaccid slap-slap-slap "UUUH, UUH-UUHHH!!!" and it would all be over in the same space of time that it took you to read that. Then he would whisper in my ear (he could barely reach my ear) "love to bum ya, baby". I should point out, we never did anal, he just liked to delude himself that he did. He would immediately flop out, it was always all too much for him, excitement-wise, so he would then pass out like anaemic fetus on the floor. I would have to prod him with my foot in order to revive him to get him to leave my fucking house - every time.

Omg 😂

I once had a boyfriend (university) who came in his pants every single time we kissed 😂😱. He was a devout Christian or his parents were - sex was out of the question. Go for a nice drink and one quick snog and he’d start to go ‘oh oh oh oh’ while kissing and then jerk and wet patch and then run back to his hall of residence. Happened morning noon and night. One I met him after a lecture and walking back I stroked his hand and he came in his pants. It actually makes me quite ill thinking about it now. His parents insisted I be dumped as I wasn’t Christian enough and they thought I was tempting him - I’m not surprised looking back as his mum was washing 10 pairs of boxers and trousers covered in Deneb each weekend. That’s grim thinking about it.

Semen not Deneb !!

Deneb 😃😂

Have you ever considered writing erotic literature

Have you ever considered doing stand-up?

The one who gaslit and used me, then cheated on me with men and dumped me unceremoniously with no explanation, letting me think it was my issue.

Wow some of these are horrific.

Mine was my first boyfriend who I regrettably lost my virginity to- he was a workshy cheater, who couldn't actually get it up properly, and ejaculated prematurely. I didn't know what the fuck was going on of course.

He had the foulest habits too- for example, when out walking he used to hold down one nostril and shoot snot out of the other. Fucking grim. I was so young, I really didn't think much of it at the time.

He and his now partner are jobless and living in the shittest part of town. Thank absolute fuck to have got away.

Probably the one who was obsessed with wearing my underwear and being humiliated. Didn't last long. Fuck off Daily Mail.

The one who'd sit next to me and message other women on POF, who never cleaned his teeth. (not envy)

First boyfriend I was 19 he turned out to be gay, couldn’t get it I thought it was my fault. My then ex husband used it as a perfect excuse as to why I was frigid, my first boyfriend had ruined me for sex.