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Original poster

Woke up and there was no milk. I lost the plot.

363 replies

steppemum · 09/02/2021 11:34

Just that really.
Bit of a last straw moment.

Ds is 18, his gf is also living here during lockdown, they tend to come downstairs at 2 am and have meals.
Last night they had cereal, and used up all the milk.
Shopping arrived this morning at 10 am, so we just needed enough milk for my morning tea. I get up at 6:30. He usually surfaces at 10-11 am.

I was furious. I acknowledge unreasonably so. So at 8am I went up and told him to get up and go to the shop and buy milk. I might have shouted. He said no, calm down mum, it's only milk, which obviously made it much better Hmm
dd2 then got up and went ot the shop for milk, in order to restore calm!

not sure why I am posting really, just fed up of holding it all together, and the bloody selfishness of teenagers.

yes they do help around the house etc etc. as does dh.

Just -
lockdown
home schooling
no head space
no me time
no coffee with friends
bloody meals, just bloody meals and shopping, x 6 x 3 times a day (and I don't do all the cooking and they get their own breakfast etc, but still somehow it is such a production line)

rant over, thanks for listening.

OP posts:
Jasminexx · 10/02/2021 09:36

I am still amazed at how much controversy this thread has caused 😂 it's been funny to read though.

Original poster
steppemum · 10/02/2021 09:41

@Jasminexx

I am still amazed at how much controversy this thread has caused 😂 it's been funny to read though.
It's funny isn't it? Who would have thought it would cause so much controversy. But then itr is mn, and ummm, 'interesting' opinions are all par for the course.

But it has been fun, and was a great distraction yesterday when I was a bit frazzled.
Unfortunately I now have loads to do today. I've been at my computer since 7:30 (yawn)

OP posts:
LongHotSummerJustPassedMeBy · 10/02/2021 09:46

Get him a tub of Marvel as a birthday present

Interested in this thread?

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18 years old Families
CandyLeBonBon · 10/02/2021 15:05

Yeah. Almond or oat milk in tea is rank an acquired taste!

CandyLeBonBon · 10/02/2021 15:05

@LongHotSummerJustPassedMeBy

Get him a tub of Marvel as a birthday present
Love it!
France79 · 10/02/2021 17:30

I would be the same. I need cups of tea in the morning

Havehope21 · 10/02/2021 17:40

YANBU! Rule in our house is you always offer to everybody else (who likes the certain item) before finishing it off yourself. This applies to things like cheese / fruit juice etc so we can plan for future meals / snacks. If anyone else wants it, you share what is left and make arrangements to replace / restock as soon as is reasonable.

TrixieMixie · 10/02/2021 17:44

Imagine if it had been DD1 who had used up the milk and DS2 had gone to fetch some.

It doesn't happen like that though, does it.

This. Boys/men conditioned from childhood to be selfish and get away with it, girls and women the opposite.

Tas1984 · 10/02/2021 17:48

For what it’s worth you sound like you’re doing an amazing job. You’ve made decisions that would prove beneficial I.e letting the gf stay so you can be sure ur ds is concentrating on his studies. I also think having no milk would erk me too. I’m petty so I would have made them get me milk there and then but that’s me ☺️

Ahardyfool · 10/02/2021 17:50

@steppemum you’re a woman after my own heart with your list of necessities.
And, what is it with teenagers and midnight (read 2 or 3am) cereal and drinks making?

GoudaGirl · 10/02/2021 18:01

I have a hidden stash of tea bags and milk as same regularly happens.
Would also have a rant for same reasons. When I lived outside of the UK I used to carry a small UHT carton and PG tips in my handbag!
I also have been known to snaffle milk in a beaker and take it upstairs to bed for tea in the morning to avoid milk-gate.

peachdribble · 10/02/2021 18:21

I feel your pain op...! There is little headspace when home schooling - I need to get mine both to bed in order to even make a shopping list. Let them learn 😄🌹

thebestnamehere · 10/02/2021 18:28

@Raindough

His girlfriend lives with you?? For an 18 year old he has a very cushy life
I'd be booting her out too
twinmum2007 · 10/02/2021 18:42

This will happen again. Tis the way of life. However, you need to think laterally. Always have a pint, even a half pint of milk in the freezer. Plus, in case they find the frozen milk... freeze milk into idecube trays, depending how milky you like your tea, one or two will do in the morning if you are desperate. You can even decant the milk cubes into a freezer bag to hide them if you are still worried. Believe me, this works.

ladynyland · 10/02/2021 18:50

I have and would flip my lid if there was no milk for my first cup of tea. I feel extremely cross in your behalf.

midlifeangst · 10/02/2021 18:58

Totally justified, I would have done exactly the same.

mam0918 · 10/02/2021 19:08

[quote SleepingStandingUp]**@mam0918* I would have litrally kicked DS out for back answering and a lack of respect like that at his age...* Yeah you realise that doesn't reflect as well on you as you think, right? Bragging about how easily you'd see your school aged child on the streets just makes you sound like a bad Mom[/quote]
Hes 18, hes an adult not a 'school aged child' lol yes I expect adult children to grow up and fly the nest, if they are staying I damn sure expect them to follow rules and basic respect.

And one of them is a moocher not even her child, I have stayed at lots of people houses in my younger days I would never eat/drink all their food in the middle of the night and if I did I would damn sure expect to be told to leave and never invited back.

rosesandbees · 10/02/2021 19:16

I would have hit the roof too. Food production, home schooling, not seeing friends etc.. I know exactly where you are coming from. It’s relentless and exhausting. 💐

caringcarer · 10/02/2021 19:19

Get some long life milk and store in your bedroom.

CoffeeRunner · 10/02/2021 19:23

@TrixieMixie

Imagine if it had been DD1 who had used up the milk and DS2 had gone to fetch some.

It doesn't happen like that though, does it.

This. Boys/men conditioned from childhood to be selfish and get away with it, girls and women the opposite.

It would in my house. Not milk because I don’t drink it, but DS1 is the peace keeper. He has gone to the shop more than once to replace something “Mr/Ms Nobody” has used up (generally DD) Grin.
withmycoffee · 10/02/2021 19:32

@TeeBee

Wow! You're assuming me not screaming at my children has turned them into uncaring, lazy fuckers...funnily enough me treating them well means they do the same to me. I treat them the way I want to be treated. I'm not saying you shouldn't point it out to them, I am questioning the necessity for screaming and shouting when a simple conversation was needed. That's how we roll in my house. We treat each other nicely.
F*k you are a sanctimonious cw
RootyT00t · 10/02/2021 19:32

@TrixieMixie

Imagine if it had been DD1 who had used up the milk and DS2 had gone to fetch some.

It doesn't happen like that though, does it.

This. Boys/men conditioned from childhood to be selfish and get away with it, girls and women the opposite.

🙄
mommybunny · 10/02/2021 19:33

Just RTFT and nodding in deep sympathy with OP. Milk isn’t a risk with my teen DCs as they don’t use much, but if DH does the shopping and there isn’t a litre for the freezer there is hell to pay if we run out before the next shop.

The thing that made me lose my shit last weekend was coming downstairs on Sunday morning to make my family a cooked breakfast and finding literally a scrap of bread in the bread bin. My family (DH, DS15 and DD13 and me) easily get through 4 loaves a week - of that, my personal consumption is ONE SINGLE SLICE, on Sundays. What really infuriated me was that there was another loaf in our freezer in the garage, but whoever finished the loaf the night before couldn’t be arsed to go outside to get it. I made DS stagger out of bed and out to the garage.

I wish I could hide food, because I’m sick of buying a treat like chocolate or ice cream and finding the empty wrapper or box ( is that just to troll me??!!) if I’ve gone for it a day after I’ve brought it home. But I’ve learned the hard way it just isn’t worth it. We have a dog with an exquisitely sensitive nose and she will literally pull drawers out if she smells food in them. She’s gotten into the chocolate and we can’t afford either the new furniture or the vet bills anymore!

As for the GF living with OP’s DS, FWIW I have never felt like I’m a parent who would allow that. But I’d also wager that a year, two years ago if you’d asked OP if she would do that she’d have said probably not herself. Then the pandemic happened and she saw her DS struggle and thought she had hit upon a solution that would bring some stability back to his life. And it sounds like she was right. We are all making this up as we go along and having assumptions challenged and tested. OP’s DS is lucky he has a mum who is willing to adapt her own views for his benefit.

Susan1961 · 10/02/2021 19:38

Glad to hear I'm not the only one who finds it inconsiderate to do this.

Original poster
steppemum · 10/02/2021 19:50

SOOO much projection. Really he is not a self centred mysogonist beast, honestly he isn't!

Usually, ds is the one to go to the shop. So all that stuff about if it was the other way round ds wouldn't have gone for dd is ...well....crap. And dd is going through an autism diagnosis, and completely ruined ds 18th birthday, and he was very kind and understanding about it.

At the moment, as he has a car, and he drops gf off at work, if we are short of something, he gets it. He usually asks before he leaves if there is anything we need. I try and only get the online delivery once a week, so we aren't going into lots of shops, but it does happen.

mam0918 - are you always so angry with everyone? Kick him out over one bad middle of the night decision?
Yes he is 18, but he is very much still at school. A levels coming up.
And I firmly believe in 18 year olds learning to grow up and leave home etc, but they usually do that AFTER their A levels not before.

and the gf is nice, and not usually selfish, this was a one off.
I cannot imagine turning someone out of their home, child or adult, over one finished milk.

I will say it again. Because I was cross with him and woke him up being cross at 8am, I am 100% sure neither of them will do it again. And he knows that gf will be asked to leave if they don't behave.

So, no plans to hide milk. I know him well enought to know, that depsite the rude comments at 8am, he knows he is wrong and won't do it again.

OP posts: