If you could re-live your life knowing what you know now, would you have still had children?

[chuckb4ss]

And is there anything else significant you would have changed?

Yes. I had partied, travelled and got a good job and house before having them. My DH is loving and supportive. I wish I wasn't ill (chronic illness for over 20 years) as then it would have been much easier. However even though they are fucking annoying (nearly three teens) I love them dearly and they are lots of fun.

Yes. But I wouldn't have timed the toddler years to coincide with a fucking nightmare pandemic.

Oh yes definitely but I would have had them sooner so I could have had another one. I partied, travelled and did everything I wanted to do before having them though so I don't regret or feel like iv missed out. I thoroughly enjoy my life with children and I think iv become a much better version of myself too.

I can't imagine my life being better without my children although admittedly I'd be less stressed, better travelled & richer.....
If I could wind the clock back I would fix the things that broke with ex-h to see if we could have stayed together because the stress of working full time & being s single parent makes me a less patient parent.

Absolutely. They’re the best thing that ever happened to me. If I could change something, I’d get SS to actually provide me with support when meeting my birth family instead of accepting their refusal to help. I think that would have made a significant difference to several years of my life.

There’s a few other things too, but I guess I’ll chalk most of it to life experience as I’d make other mistakes or experience different difficulties anyway and who knows if I’d cope with those better.

Yes, I love my children and I don’t want to imagine a life without them.

I rather get tried, undervalued and frustrated by my children than my previous employer.

I love my children to bits, and am a very good mum to them. However, in another life, I would choose to remain unmarried and childless.

Yes. I have three boys and they’re everything I ever wanted. Like others though, I would have done things a bit differently. My first is adopted and I agonised and waited to have a biological child in case he felt pushed out. He really didn’t so now I feel like I wasted time when he could have had the siblings he really wanted. I’m really lucky to have my kids and my husband, but I’d have been braver about going for the things I really wanted career-wise and also got much more support during the early years when it was really hard and I had PND.

Yes, ds is 2.5 and 80% of the time a beautiful joy, 10% a bit grouchy and the other 10% an absolute ratbag, I've had a day recently where I mostly found myself swearing under my breath and considering breaching lockdown to go (with him) to my parents.

But he is the love of my life. When he takes my hand in his to lead me somewhere, when he achieves something, just his general chatter as he potters are wonderful things to behold.

Yes. The only thing I'd change would be having DS1 a couple of years later as we weren't really ready, it was an accidental pregnancy and we did struggle financially for the first year-18 months.

@hopsalong

Yes. But I wouldn't have timed the toddler years to coincide with a fucking nightmare pandemic.

This!

Yes, I might have even had more.

If you mean in regards to the pandemic/the environment, I knew all about those things before I had kids so it's not new information (well not this specific pandemic, but everyone knows pandemics can and do occur, and will occur more and more often from now due to climate change/encroaching on animal habitats/over population).

If people are honest, I'd say most people here also knew as climate change has been known about for decades. Unless you are 80+, you knew.

Yes. And I would have had more.

Yes, but I would have waited until I was older (had first at 30) and only had one.

Definitely. I love my family unit - my 3 are such individual, gorgeous humans.

In another life, I would have started my family earlier. First baby by 24 and I would have 4 children close together.

I think I'd have started even earlier. I've realised I like a nice age gap but want a few!

@SquigglePigs

Yes definitely, but I'd have them younger.

Same here

Yes. I have 4 children. They are the only thing I am really proud of! I would have had more if I could.

I would study much harder and choose a totally different career path if I could start all over.

Yes definitely. I'd have had 3 instead of 2, and I wouldn't have made all the stupid financial decisions I made in my twenties that left me broke until my thirties!

I would have shad children earlier! She is the best thing that I have ever done with my life,
she is amazing (although I am constantly knackered!)

Yes 1000%! I would have liked to have had them 5 years earlier than I did but had miscarriages etc so it wasn’t to be. I’ve always known I wanted children and am so thankful it happened for me and DH. There is never a day when I take for granted how lucky I am.

Definitely - but sooner & more!

If I could redo my life I would have left the ex (who was stringing me along) after 2 years (so I could still have known my lovely friends) and I would have started having kids much sooner and hopefully have 4/5/6 with age gaps.

Instead of having my one DD through ivf at age 41. I'm still in the early months with sleep deprivation but it makes me so much more happy than the job/city life and travelling ever did.