If you could re-live your life knowing what you know now, would you have still had children?

[chuckb4ss]

And is there anything else significant you would have changed?

Yes, I'm shattered at the moment but all three are just lovely, I wouldn't change a thing - bar a noise control.

Yes, and would have started trying earlier as it took a long time to get pregnant.

No I wouldn't.

Yes. He’s a joy most of the time—when we’re not homeschooling—.

The one thing I’d change is insisting on growth scans. DS was much bigger than expected- I’m tall and it turned out my large bump was all baby.

I could never regret having DD as the person she is. I do worry about the world she is growing up in though and the problems we're leaving for their generation.

If I were young enough to have kids now, I'm not sure I'd make the same decision to have a child.

Probably not no.

I'm lucky that mine had inheritances that enabled them to move out by early twenties. Not sure if our relationships would have survived otherwise.
However I really enjoyed the 4-12 years stage.
So on balance I would have been as happy with just one. Couldn't chose which one though.

I would also have chosen a different degree to do, have realised the importance of getting a mortgage when I could have afforded one. I would say that I'd have had my daughter with someone else - but then she wouldn't be my daughter - but maybe divorced her dad sooner!

I would have them still, despite numerous health problems between them.

I would have waited a couple more years before having them and gone on more holidays.

Doing differently- I wish DS' ADHD had been diagnosed earlier (or even that he didn't have it). Ditto both DCs' migraines.

There were times when I wished that I had had a couple of dogs instead (half a joke). Now late in life I am enjoying the benefits of grandchildren. Fuss being made of us on special occasions, being cared for in so many ways. It’s worth it in the long run though at times it certainly seemed hard.

Yes absolutely. I can't really think of anything I know now which would make want not to have had them. In an ideal world I would have had them slightly younger and would have got slimmer annd fitter before having them (and thereby maybe avoided kicking off high bp for which I'm still on medication over a decade later).

Yes absolutely, just wish we’d had more than one child but time was not on our side.

Other than that, I wish I had not coasted through life to my mid-40’s without building a proper career path. Now I am directionless and it feels too late - a major regret.

Yes. My life was a bit shit and pointless before DD to be honest. She’s hard work but worth it!

I have twins on the way so things are about to get more crazy but I’ll never regret having a family.

No, I wouldn't have but would still have married DH though.

Yes, but up until late last year I would have probably said no. I found the early years excruciating but I enjoy it more and more the older (and more reasonable) they get. I think I may have chosen their father more wisely though... that had a lot to do with how difficult I found it. With an equal partnership it wouldn't have been so hard.

I love having them now. They bring me a lot of joy. I was previously a bit of a hedonist and would probably have car crashed my life without the steady focus of DC. I'm also prone to melancholy and used to do a lot of existential despairing over the "point of it all". I don't have time now so they're a welcome distraction!

Yes I’d have started younger and had more.

@Ibizafun

I would have had children with someone else.

This.

An abusive ex (and father to kids) is miserable for everyone.

I absolutely love my children and always wanted to have children as part of my life. Selfishly, yes I'd have them again 100%.
However, when I look at the planet , I do wonder what I've brought them into. ... so knowing what I know now....not quite so sure sadly

Very sorry for your loss peachgreen

I would’ve gotten help with my anxiety. I would’ve put more in socially at university. I’d have travelled a lot more. I probably wouldn’t have married the man I have and I think I might only have had one child. I adore my children but two have very complex special needs and will never live independently.

With hindsight, I'd have been more careful about who I married and when I had kids. And I'd have given more thought to what kind of parent I would be.

I can't imagine not having any, but I'd have started later and stopped at 2.

Yes, definitely. I would massively have preferred my DC2 not to have so many serious illnesses but having children has been the highlight of my life, and that's a life that has included almost everything that was ever on my bucket list. But having children has been the most intensely happy and rewarding thing I've ever done.

@chuckb4ss

And is there anything else significant you would have changed?

I would still have my children at exactly the same age (30/31) but the most significant thing I would change is what and how I eat.

I have been a serial yoyo dieter my whole teen and adult life, veering from one low fat diet to another, to another for forty years. Just getting fatter, more depressed, more shamed over time.

You can see from my name what happened five years ago . I discovered that 'balanced diets', 'everything in moderation', 'eat less move more', 'count calories', 'fat makes you fat', 'low/non fat anything is fine to eat', 'carbs are essential' were all lies (for me, certainly).

So I did the opposite and finally, at the age of 52, lost 100lbs of excess fat I'd accumulated over 4 decades of low fat dieting. Five years later it is still gone and I have maintained the loss (still low carbing). A total miracle.

I think back to my teen and adult years with great sadness and regret. How much I damaged my physical, emotional and mental health and suffered terrible anguish living with the deep shame of failing diets time and time and time again, wearing my hated fat all over my obese body - visible failure, for all to see and judge (I thought).

I didn't realise that it was the diet advice that failed me. It was wrong advice.

So, OP I would still have children but I would have embraced a low carb healthy fat way of eating from the get go and never, ever had fed my kids cereals .

Yes but I'd have had them younger and had more 😊