If you could re-live your life knowing what you know now, would you have still had children?

[chuckb4ss]

And is there anything else significant you would have changed?

Absolutely. I would have had a much larger family and started a lot younger.

Yes definitely. Would probably have them a bit younger though.

And I was very happy i with my life pre children.

Yes, and I’d have more children! Although my one and only wouldn’t be happy about that!!

No

Yes absolutely. Having children made my life so much better even if it made things harder. If I could go back I would make better career and financial decisions as although everything is great now we had a decade of money problems.

Yes definitely, but I would have started earlier and had two instead of one.

Yes and no.

My eldest ds was diagnosed with cancer just before his 16th birthday and died when he was 18. The most beautiful, funny, gentle, gorgeous son ever. Wonderful childhood, but could I put him through the pain of those 2 and half years again? If the outcome were the same, and I knew how he was going to suffer then no I wouldn't do it again.

My youngest son went through the pain of losing his oldest brother. And continues to live as the surviving child, a guilt which must be hard for him. He says he doesn't want children of his own and I think it is because he witnessed such trauma. He's 23 now and happy but, there is always a bit.

I can't imagine not having had them, not being without my youngest son now, but the pain of losing a child to such horror still overwhelms me 7 years later.

All encompassing love, all encompassing pain.

So yes, and no.

😢😢

Yes I would have had my children, but I'd have had them earlier. Corny af but I didn't really know what true love was until I had my dc!

Yes, the thing I’d change is to have had a daughter as well as a son. Everything else, no. I’ve had a fantastic life, I’m very fortunate.

@minmooch so sorry for your loss

Oh @minmooch. So very sorry 💐

No way, absolutely no way. I'd not get married either and I'd have trust and confidence that my instincts and life choices were totally fine, healthy and no one else's business.

If I could have the same children, but five or ten years later, and by the right person, I guess that would be the ideal. Possibly having been to uni first. (I was only 15 when I fell pregnant with dc1, so I’ve only ever done school and motherhood.) But the rough parts have got me where I am now so 🤷‍♀️ but at the same time it has been rough for my dc too..

Oh God yes. They are my biggest source of joy and purpose.

Yes I would have had them earlier and had 4 instead of 3

@minmooch I can’t imagine how hard that is.

Yea definitely. I would have started earlier so I could have more and given my dc the wonderful network and friendship I get from my siblings

@peachgreen - I'll so sorry about the loss of your DH

So sorry minmooch

Yes. I just can't imagine life without her now. Not sure id feel the same about a second so we're very on the fence about having more

So sorry @minmooch

Yes but I’d have had 2 instead of 1.

Before the cancer diagnosis, I'd have said no regrets, no way! But seeing how my little one has suffered and will continue to suffer for many years to come, I think no, I'd not have had children had I known this is what their life would look like. This is a path no mother would ever choose their child to walk on.

I would need to protect my dd so I would say NO

I have two. I love them and they're great but I have AS and it's been hard.

If I'd understood myself better and understood the world I was bringing them into, no, i wouldn't have had them.