If you could re-live your life knowing what you know now, would you have still had children?

[chuckb4ss]

And is there anything else significant you would have changed?

No I wouldn’t, I’ve never known worry like it , it’s overwhelming.

Absolutely, they aren’t my world in the sense I also work full time, have friends, husband etc but they are my world. I can’t imagine life without them & I would never wish to have not had them.

Absolutely. They are 11 and 14 now and great to be around. Lockdown would be lame without them.

I only have one and she's still tiny but no, I wouldn't even want to imagine a world in which she didn't exist and I can't imagine anything that would make me feel that way. She was very long awaited and I had a lot of childfree time to know both the benefits and disadvantages of that too.

I'd say I wish I'd had her younger but that was not really in my control.

No, I wouldn't have children. And if I could go back I'd probably also take at least a year between school and university to have a better understanding of what I wanted to do.

Absolutely, DS is the best thing that has ever happened to me and improves my life in a million ways.

Would have started sooner and would have had more than one.

The only reason I would say no is because I constantly worry about them. I have health anxiety and I'm scared of a
Something happening to me and leaving them in this world (although they have dad, no one can love/look after them as much as me)

Absolutely wouldnt change a thing about my children. I am not really a baby / child person but I have loved being their mum and covid has made me grateful every day that these two crazy cats are in my life.

Like everyone my world has become almost unbearably small and mundane in the last year but my children have filled the space with their wacky conversations, funny jokes and so much joy over the smallest things that I am humbled and in awe of them.

@FossilisedFanny

No I wouldn’t, I’ve never known worry like it , it’s overwhelming.

This is exactly what I have just said

Do you mean in regards to the pandemic? I thought about this the other day and my initial thought was no but honestly I couldn't imagine life without them. It's such hard work trying to keep them occupied appropriately during this WFH and trying to just make the most of a bad situation. Yes, selfishly I would love to be able to just worry about myself and do what I want to do at weekends etc but they deffo make up for it too.

Absolutely, yes its hard, at times stressful, but it is also the best thing ever being my sons dad. I would liked us to have found each other sooner, but that wouldn’t really be possible. I can’t wait to have another in the future, he’ll be a lovely big brother.

Although I maybe would have left a bigger gap between my 2 lol. But I had an unplanned pregnancy that I MC and it sent me into crazy wanting a baby mode (23 months between my 2) I should have waited until my oldest was 5 I think!

Yes.

I'd have had a bit more time with OH before we had them. Couple more holidays, bit more of having sex whenever we wanted, nights out together etc.

But I would definitely have the kids in my life. Its fucking stressful sometimes but they make my life richer and fuller. I love them wholeheartedly and I've never had so much love in my heart as I do now (proper soppy but true).

No. I love him. He's amazing. But it's so hard.

And now I'm struggling with guilt because he's an only child and I'm not sure what to do.

How about you OP?

@Dobbyismyfavourite ditto! Would have loved another one but am grateful for the one l have got.
Spent all my 20's not wanting children. Accidentally fell pregnant at 34 but honestly wouldn't be without her. So much so after she was born l wanted more but sadly couldn't but wonder if it would have made me not a very good mum spreading myself too thinly.

Absolutely, yes. It has been hard and relentless but having children fulfilled a deep biological urge within me.

Sometimes now, though, I wish I had limited the number of children I had. I feel evil saying that, so I wont say more, but I know what I mean.

If I could somehow change my dd's father, without changing my dd, I'd do that. I know who I'd want her dad to be, but I don't want to change one thing about her dd herself and obviously she's half of her dad so I wouldn't be able to do that!

Yes absolutely, I would have had them when I was a bit younger though.

No.

I have one child.
Knowing what I know now, if I had to do it all again, I would remain childless. It would be kinder to us both.

I would instead devote my life to doing things that gave me pleasure and satisfaction but which did not have a significant impact on anyone else.

I wish everyone peace and joy, especially my child, but I won't take responsibility again.

I actually dont know, i have a disabled child and its basically as far from the life i imagined, i learnt to be nursery nurse as a job when i left school and it was what i was looking forward to for about 10 years before we had her. And obviously lockdown and her special needs nursery being closed last year for 6 months and this time since beginning of December and its just i spent half the time struggling carering for her or worrying about the care for her and the other half of the time incredibly jealous and sad that i dont have the life that other with typical child have. So probably no i wouldnt choice this life.

Absolutely, they are the best part of my life.

Yes. Nothing else I’ve done in my life has come close to bringing the peace and fulfilment I’ve found in myself since having children. On the surface life is harder, more tiring, more chaotic. On a deeper level, there’s a calm and happiness I didn’t have before.

@peachgreen I’m so sorry to read about your DH. The strength you must be having to find to get through this time inspires me. How wonderful to hear about the joy your daughter brings you.

Yes I would have my children again but I would have started at 16 and had many many more. At least 5.