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Original poster

If you were 44 and found out you were pregnant?

688 replies

HillsHaveEyez · 05/02/2021 21:00

Would you have it?

I’m not asking for advice for myself. Just interested in whether you personally would go ahead with a surprise pregnancy at such an advanced age.

OP posts:
Bluntasduck · 05/02/2021 21:48

No, but it's not about age. I just haven't got enough resources to parent two children. It wouldn't be fair on either of them.

Megan2018 · 05/02/2021 21:48

Yes, I had my first at 41 conceived easily. We probably won’t have a second but I’d be 44 if I did.
I’d have NIPT like last time. But I had an easy pregnancy and birth so being 44 wouldn’t worry me.

I have a friend at 44 actively TTC.

bellie710 · 05/02/2021 21:48

My mum had my brother at 44, shock pregnancy and 21 years between him and her youngest child. She had an amnio as she didn't want to outlive a child who may have had problems. All worked out brilliantly but don't think I could do it myself.

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EITEL · 05/02/2021 21:49

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FiveNightsAtMummys · 05/02/2021 21:50

I think I'd be shocked but probably chose to have the baby. Right now do I want another? Nope. Do I ever want another? Nope. But I think I would feel different if I was actually pregnant. I guess its something I'd couldn't say for certain until I was in that situation.

flapperdapper · 05/02/2021 21:51

I fell pregnant by surprise at 42 and had my baby - my first and only- at 43 - 16 years ago. Would definitely do it all over again.

Butterbeeeen · 05/02/2021 21:51

I recently had a hysterectomy at 36. I would have been mortified to find myself pregnant now (there was medical reasons for my hysterectomy not just contraception) I have 3dc already and they are all secondary age. I have retrained in a new career, made loads of new friends and got my life back in the past few years. I would not want to start over again.

Lovelydiscusfish · 05/02/2021 21:51

And you ain’t too old by the way! My amazing friend had her dd at 48. She’s a fantastic mum - no worries! It is way more about what YOU want (and that is what I myself need to seriously think about too.... )

CosmicComfort · 05/02/2021 21:52

No, but I am fortunate to have 2 dses who are teenagers. My eldest would have been 16, too big a gap.

People make very different choices for their own reasons though.

I might have had a 3rd many years ago but had cancer and my womb removed so I will never know.......

TheCatThatGotTheCream · 05/02/2021 21:52

I'm sorry to hear that @bitheby, I know how hard fertility issues are and it seems like there are babies everywhere you look. Best of luck with the TTC.

Alwayswithalacrity · 05/02/2021 21:53

Yes I did! No regrets....Older kids were 17 and 20.

Chewbecca · 05/02/2021 21:53

Depends entirely on situation and other children.

If it was a much wanted first pregnancy, definitely yes.

If it would be a much loved younger sibling for slightly older children, probably yes.

If existing children were much older and I was tired and very much looking forward to the next stage of life, possibly not.

But I am not sure I could make the decision (having never been in the situation) so I might go ahead with the pregnancy regardless of situation.

MargotLovedTom1 · 05/02/2021 21:53

Good God, absolutely not! No way would I go through with that. Have got three teenagers and my baby days are completely over.

Dullardmullard · 05/02/2021 21:53

No I wouldn’t

Not at 44

Each to their own though

Spudley13 · 05/02/2021 21:54

I'm 44 now and I wouldn't. I have turned into an old grump and no way could I cope with the sleepless night anymore.

StateOfTheUterus · 05/02/2021 21:54

Yep. I was 43. Had my first baby at 35 and thought I couldn’t have any more. Turns out I was wrong.
I wouldn’t be without her but it is exhausting and managing the sibling gap is hard. But that said, they adore each other and I can’t imagine it to be different now

FingersXssd83 · 05/02/2021 21:55

Took us 4 years and lots of IVF to have my one and only precious baby girl (age 37). Baby is only a few months and we plan to try again very soon. I'd feel so lucky to be able to have a baby naturally at any age, so it would be a big yes from me.

pollylocketpickedapocket · 05/02/2021 21:56

I’d need a lot of money but if I did then yes.
Sounds awful but I’m single mum to a 4 yo and I’m KNACKERED.
The only way I’d do it again is if I didn’t have to work and had a nanny/housekeeper.
I’d love my dd to have a sibling but sadly it’s not worked out that way, I’m personally too old and knackered, if I wasn’t single I’d have definitely had two but I think I’d rather have a nanny than a husband!!

Respectabitch · 05/02/2021 21:56

Really no idea. Ask me when I'm 43. I'd keep a baby if I conceived one now, but I'm some years off that and my DC are still young. I don't consider it too old at all, my mum had her 5th and 6th in her forties, which were easy healthy pregnancies.

To be honest, I'd be very aware that there was a very high likelihood that the situation would resolve itself without any intervention from me.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 05/02/2021 21:56

@WunWun

I met a woman once who was pregnant in her mid 50s.
Shock Shock Shock Gin

I'm 59. The idea of having total responsibility for a very young child now is horrific. I was in my early 30s when my two children were born and I was utterly knackered by it all then. Now that I'm on the other side of the menopause I just can't imagine how I would have the strength and the energy to cope with the broken nights and all the running around.

It wouldn't have been a lot better in my mid-40s in the long run up to menopause.

pollylocketpickedapocket · 05/02/2021 21:56

41 by the way

Tiddlywinkly · 05/02/2021 21:56

You asked specifically about whether I would go ahead. No I wouldn't, but I'm approaching late 30s with 2 dc already. By 40, they'll be 10 and 8. I wouldn't go back to babies, but your situation may be entirely different.

If it was my first or second child, yes.

AirMech · 05/02/2021 21:57

I would not... Ugh scary thought. Can I get sterilised?

Trillo · 05/02/2021 21:57

Really sorry you’re having to go through this @bitheby. Been there, done that, over many, many years.

If it helps, every woman I know who really wanted to be a mother has managed it eventually - whether biologically, via donor eggs or embryos, or via adoption. It will happen for you xxx

Magicbabywaves · 05/02/2021 21:57

No. But I’m in my early forties and I’ve got three children aged 7 and under so no thanks.