ADs and their gratuitous pussy pictures

[BogRollBOGOF]

Welcome in ADs. Snuggle up hygge-style 'cause there ain't much going on out there for a while... except rain.

I haven't got a pussy of my own for gratuitous showing off, so I shall pretend to be Dr Evil with Mr Biggleswade

Link to previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4138531-ADs-and-their-pampered-poodles?pg=40

Wrongful prosecutions at the start of the pandemic were put down to teething issues with rapidly drawn up laws

But the proportion of wrongful charges under the Health Protection Regs peaked in November, while the highest number of incorrect Coronavirus Act charges was in June

I agree a lot of us seem to have a better acceptance of mortality here. My granny died of a hemorrhage and went from making breakfast to dead with hours. My grandfather's both had cancer. I know which I would prefer. Also one of those grandfather's had lung cancer so when I hear all about people suffocating on their own lungs or whatever the latest scare phrase is I think 'that still happened before covid'.

I've also noticed a lot of us are neurodiverse or have mental health issues (or both) which makes things harder. But I think it also gives us more perspective that we don't want this for our children and are angry when it has. There seems to be a lot of people who think mental health problems won't happen to them or their children so can dismiss the implications fir children as 'other' just as we are accused of dismissing the elderly and vulnerable.

They can piss off with their 'having more time on our hands'. I am working long hours stuck at home and have been for coming up to a year in March. My usual carrot of nice holidays or meals out have been removed which means I am struggling mentally. I am waking up several times in the early morning worrying about work which means I am stressed and can't switch off.

For those of us with small children particularly I think the amount of time on our hands become time to fill which is much harder. I can't learn a language or do sewing the way I could if I were child-free but I can't break up the day with organised activities either.

But I suppose I'm incredibly lucky I don't have a full time job to do at the same time.

@BogRollBOGOF

Something that came up as a frequent point of common experience was that many of us had faced loss of loved ones and an acceptance of mortality.

A lesson I learned rather young. It also taught me that it's best to crack on and live as much as you can, while you can. A major reason why the past year has been so frustrating.

Absolutely this. I was always so angry when people used to talk about how awful covid death was. I have nursed both parents through cancer as they died, and that was fucking horrible. My experience with my mum left me with PTSD. I honestly think these people have never experienced death. In a real way. They know people who have died but never sat holding someone's hand as they fight for each breath, never had to put lotion on someone's pressure points and turn someone so they don't get sore, call a GP in the middle of the night as the meds need adjusting so they're agitated and almost literally climbing the walls in pain or hold anyone desperately trying to not cry as you reassure them that you love them and you will never forget them, but it's time to go.

@DWPmisery1972, no need to apologise (though you have just proved my point about empathy and imagination in that you worried that you might have hurt people's feelings)
Your post didn't come across in a nasty way at all. We've often discussed what makes us ADs. And I love that we do and how people have ideas and we all have a chance to say our ideas without anyone calling us names.

These have honestly been such a wonderful bunch of threads. And while lockdowns are rotten, I now know that I am not alone and that all over the country, there are lovely supportive women. DH says it helps him too to know you all exist.

@LivinLaVidaLoki, virtual hugs if you want them and I think you are spot on.

I saw a family friend deteriorate from a brain tumor and MIL died of cancer. No stranger to death here.

@thefallthroughtheair That's awful about your daughter.

@DWPmisery1972 You didn't offend me. I thought you started a rather fascinating discussion actually!

I don't feel as horrific as I did yesterday. I'm taking food with me to work and having breakfast because I need to eat something to take sudofed. This morning I have (tmi) green snot which I'm hoping doesn't mean infection but my head isn't quite as bad. That said I haven't done anything yet except sit drinking coffee. Never thought I'd type this in a lockdown but I'm actually glad we only have 4 days left to half term.

@BogRollBOGOF agree with the mortality issue. My AD friend is the same. She had skin cancer.

My mortality issue is a bit embarrassing but when I was pregnant with twins, I thought my life was over. I wouldn't be able to socialise like normal parents, lugging two babies with her instead of one. I wouldn't be able to work as childcare would be expensive and I wouldn't have any time to do anything else as people kept telling me over and over. When they were born I was determined to live my life to the fullest.

Without sounding dramatic, the lockdown has been traumatising. It's just constant (unpaid) work with the little two. We're skint but we work really hard. I want life to be a little easier now.

@starfish88 agree. I don't "work" either. I.e. i don't get paid lol.

@thefallthroughtheair I'm do fucking angry for you

I have never had to nurse a dying parent, or anyone else (and I am sorry for those of you who have had to) , but i had a friend die when she was 14. If she had been alive now she would have been asked to shield. Ironically she actually died of the flu, so I have always recognised that flu is a killer and not 'just the flu'. When she passed we were all heartbroken, as is to be expected, but I honestly don't ever remember anyone blaming anyone else for giving her the flu. We just accepted that it was a really sad event. Another thing that prevents me from thinking about saving lives at all costs is when I worked in a care home. There were two people there who barely had any quality of life at all and I was pleased when I heard they had passed so their suffering was over: one had arthritis and vascular dementia so was so stiff and unaware of what was going on, the other one was bed bound and peg fed for years (and he was aware of what was happening, he broke a carers heart when he asked for water one day).

I didn’t have mental health issues before lockdown but I think I came under neuro diverse.

We are all different, but I think the thing that binds us is knowing that lockdown is shit for everyone, and just because it’s more shit for a single mum in a flat with three kids, doesn’t mean it’s not shit for mum of grown ups with two houses, gardens and acres of woods. Some may have nicer cages but it’s still a cage.

I’ve noticed the increased hysterical tone on the other side. It reminds me of those comedy sketches where a person (usually a woman) is slowly losing it and keeps trying to hang on to sanity by over pretending that every thing is fine and the world isn’t collapsing around them.

@DWPmisery1972 I think you've got a point, I think in that respect a lot of us are pretty "unusual" because we haven't had the "worst" lockdown financially or logistically.

It is much easier to be a D when you're comfortably off, you have a lovely home, secure job, lovely supportive husband and one child with all the required time and knowledge to home school.

It is much harder to be scared of something that is much less of a risk than the immediate risk of losing your home, or your job, or not being physically able to home school because you can't be there or whatever else.

Obviously emotionally it's totally different and even all the money in the world can't cure sadness, not really anyway.

I'm certainly not offended by it anyway!

Re the police incorrectly issuing fines for alleged covid breaches. The article linked above is quite correct in saying that police are prosecuting the guidelines rather than the law. If I were fined (never see a copper round here though) I would challenge it through the court. As a retired Met. police officer, the police behaviour and application of the law that I have seen in various online bits of video is an absolute disgrace. One of the earliest things drummed into you is knowing your acts and sections for offences. If the offence isn't described in black and white, it doesn't exist. A magistrate would have no option but to throw the case out, if that which you are being prosecuted for isn't on the statute book. 'Guidance' is very misleading, and open to the wrong interpretation by over-zealous police officers looking to improve their arrest rate (which looks good on their annual review).

Thank you for everyone's kind words. I came back on this morning to ask MN to delete my post because I thought it was too personal and I've never posted anything that personal online. But actually I think I'll leave it, as a kind of marker of this awful time.
DWP
No need to feel one iota of guilt. It was absolutely a valid point, and one of the good things about these threads is that none of us is desperately waiting to be offended!

@DWPmisery1972 nothing at all to apologise for!

@fallingthroughtheair . Much love to you and your daughter. So sorry you are both going through this. I really hope you can get her the help she needs.

God, I am so fucking angry. Part of it is just exhaustion and being woken up multiple times in the night by my youngest, but that is only a small part.

I am so grateful for these threads and for all of you who speak honestly and openly about your experiences, and show so much kindness to others. You are all awesome, and make me feel less alone in this.

It is much easier to be a D when you're comfortably off, you have a lovely home, secure job, lovely supportive husband and one child with all the required time and knowledge to home school.

^^ I think this is what I was trying to say but a totally bodged it- if I engage with a D they are so unbelievably cold and heartless, and to people who have big houses/grown up children/land to roam they’d say ‘well what are you complaining about? Put your fucking mask on and drink your Dettol and be on your way’- there is no sympathy from them on the mental impact this has on Everyone, and they genuinely seem to enjoy it. Itcis disturbing to read/see. Sorry about last night everyone but I’m glad it was taken in good faith-like I say I probably fit somewhere in the middle and so not judging anyone at all ever.

It’s just snowed here last night so I can’t go for a walk for the foreseeable in case I slip... yay.

Re the walk this is really going to set me back; the walk to the end of the street and back again, which is short but sweet has kept my legs moving. Now I can’t go outside until the ground is safe. :(

@DWPmisery1972 yes, don't risk the ice. Can you find a 10 min stretch or something gentle to do online? Just to keep things moving as you say.

to anyone who needs them.

Bloody hell , I’ve been referred to the ophthalmologist at our local hospital. My vision went all blurry last night with weird flashes every time I moved my eyes. Went to the optician this morning and they’re doing an urgent referral. I’m really worried

I suppose I am in the "I'm alright Jack " group. We've just paid the mortgage off, got a house, garden, jobs (though working in a supermarket during these times ain't no picnic!) and more importantly no young children to home educate, although I do have to do that for my grandson once a week.
However I'm mightily pissed off with this whole situation, and have great empathy for anyone who is struggling, for whatever reason. We've got a lot of people at work who have had their issues and I try to help them, checking they're ok, trying to help when I can, raising the various points with management etc.
Just because from the outside I seem ok doesn't mean that sometimes I'm not. I can't just pop down town for a little mooch, can't meet friends for coffee in town, can't have both sets of grandchildren round at the same time. My grandson was stroking a picture of his cousins the other day and saying how much he missed them, broke my heart.
This life is a life on hold and I'm bloody sick of it.
Hugs and flowers to everyone.

Good luck Fanny, hope it comes through quickly.