ADs and their gratuitous pussy pictures

[BogRollBOGOF]

Welcome in ADs. Snuggle up hygge-style 'cause there ain't much going on out there for a while... except rain.

I haven't got a pussy of my own for gratuitous showing off, so I shall pretend to be Dr Evil with Mr Biggleswade

Link to previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4138531-ADs-and-their-pampered-poodles?pg=40

I don't quite fit the Ad description. I found this thread in lockdown one when my dd's mental health decline scared me. Here I found people in the same situation that understood.
Dh has worked from home since last March in a secure job , I work for the NHS. Dh is currently juggling working and looking after the children too when I work. I think the loss of education and socialization has a massive impact on children. Especially my 5 year old who was just starting to learn. And dd needs the support and structure of normal life.
And I am fed up of having no time to myself like others.

I'm feeling sorry for myself. I've had sinus pain for a week or so now but last night/today its really ramped up. I don't know what to do with myself. Sudofed has helped a bit and breathing in steam but it's awful. I've no idea how I'm going to cope with work...it's also occurred to me if I don't go to work I'd have to keep DS here with me and try to home school him instead. I actually think that'd be harder than work...I'm getting a little bit scared now. I can't afford to be ill. There's no one else to look after him. Everything seems so much worse at night.

@justasking111 I only found out because of poor police behaviour that you don’t actually have to give your name and address, right up until the point where you are asked in court. Of course this would involve attest, but as long as we are not breaking the law, the police have no right to know.

I don't fit the AD description (though I don't really dispute the general classification). I have a secure (public sector) job which I can do from home, from a purpose-built office in my garden. We have enough space for the three of us, and DD is as well supported as most ten-year-olds and better than most (gadgets coming out of her ears and DH for IT support).

But there are two factors that make me an AD. The personal one is that DD is suffering. If we were looking at smallpox or bubonic plague, I could see the logic in closing schools. But we're not, so I'm being asked to sacrifice my child for the health of others and to support a crumbling health service that wasn't really fit for purpose before all this.

The more general one is that I have an imagination: I am capable of seeing that others have it much harder than I do, and that being locked down in a tiny fourth-floor flat with two children is a completely different ball game from being locked down in a detached house in a leafy suburb. Put bluntly, if the price of other people being able to have a reasonable life is that I have a slightly increased risk of death, I would pay it. (And it is only slightly increased - I'm in my late 40s and healthy, so I'd have to be incredibly unlucky to die or have serious effects from Covid.) And that's without the vaccine; once people can be vaccinated, why the hell would we keep doing this to ourselves?

@thefallthroughtheair Me too !! Have subscribed to the spectator as they seem quite interested in facts. Previously viewed that as way, way too right wing for me. Now I find it interesting that Rod Liddle, whose writing in the Times I don't like, has done a full 180 on initially supporting lockdown, and now stating it is just not worth it given the information we now have. I just don't think the penny has dropped more broadly that we either want to sacrifice our quality of life indefinitely, or we accept that life expectancy may end up being lower for the foreseeable future.

ADs don't have a specific description as such. The only real criteria is that we don't judge others for making different choices.

We do may judge people for scaremongering, for judging people who have made different decisions and for having no empathy for those who are struggling for whatever reason but not for

So, (MN sorry, but) you/we are all ADs no matter y/our circumstances.

@NannyGythaOgg

ADs don't have a specific description as such. The only real criteria is that we don't judge others for making different choices.

We do may judge people for scaremongering, for judging people who have made different decisions and for having no empathy for those who are struggling for whatever reason but not for

So, (MN sorry, but) you/we are all ADs no matter y/our circumstances.

Indeed.

Even my friend having been over-cautious, I wouldn't call a D because she's not been inflicting sanctimonius rubbish on the rest of the world anf just quietly gets on with it.

Well after 10.5 months of inadvertently, constantly watching Minecraft on youtube, I've had a go. Built one house yesterday. Built a two-storey house with gables today. DS2 is really impressed with me and says I'm semi pro not a noob.
High praise

I think I would argue that what we all have in common is empathy, imagination, and an acceptance of mortality.

I think also that @DWPmisery1972 has a point about Ds being mostly in comfortable situations. I think there may be more diversity in situations among ADs though.

Well done on Minecraft, @BogRollBOGOF . I can't play 3D games at all. They make me nauseous cos of a weird condition I have. It's so annoying because I really wanted to play Portal but couldn't.

DrRamses.
Exactly that.
In other news, just discovered my DD is self harming.
I am just fucking fucking fucking beyond furious that the world is willing to sacrifice my gorgeous little girl's health to pander to the fears of an ill-educated and hysterical middle class who don't give a shit about the future. I hate it. How fucking dare they whine on about long covid as if no one's ever been ill before, or about someone old dying as if no one's ever died before. Ffs. I've lost relatives and friends - I dont expect the whole fucking world to stop and suffer for my personal grief. I am so angry. And heartbroken. And fucked off.

thefallthroughtheair I am so sorry that you have made that discovery. I hope that you are able to get her the help she needs, whether that is from you or mental health services. It is so hard to see our children struggling. To all of you who may be in more financially comfortable situations than some of us, who maybe have supportive partners/husbands/wives, houses with gardens etc: your feelings are valid and I don't think that this should make you feel guilty because you are finding it hard. A gilded cage is still a cage.

@thefallthroughtheair Oh God thats awful.

@DrRamsesEmerson YES. Local fb groups are full of comments about how people are glad its snowing and that now everyone will HAVE to stay in.

I bit. I said "and what about the ones who have to get to the vaccination centres. Both medical staff and patients. Answer was "lol" And im NOT joking. I reiterate what ive said before....that they are only interested in the vulnerable when they can use them to emotionally blackmail others.

Someone who works in a hospital was asking about taxi firms for tomorrow. Someone offered her a lift for free. Got shot down for it. Not allowed under lockdown rules according to them. I fucking despair.

Sorry everyone, I ddint mean to stereotype D’s and Ad’s- I think a lot of it is l empathy overall - even if an AD is financially ok and isn’t suffering dreadfully, they can see their neighbours/friends/colleagues/fellow ADs suffering and understand and be supportive without judgment

I’m sorry everyone , I didn’t mean to start a ‘typical D’ stereotype I think a lot of it is because they subtly show off about saving money, will tell their income, brsg about their children’s private schools, and it just seems uncouth and just... not very thoughtful comsiderimg the circumstances. There are a few particular posters I have in mind when I say this. I’m Sorry if I’ve offended anyone

You’ve all been so supportive to me- I probably fall Imbetween ; not rich not poor (was working until my injury so now on crappy sick pay but I’ll get through), I live in a fairly safe area but there’s not much green space (urban jungle) - Again, I’m sorry if I’ve made anyone feel bad xx

thefall I’m so sorry to hear about Your daughter, how dreadful. Poor wee thing. This lockdown is just inhumane. I’m so so sorry, sending so much love. your poor wee girl x

Sorry small I didn’t mean to offend with my comment- it wasn’t supposed to be a sweeping statement and I totally agree, I feel very guilty now, I’m reallly sorry everyone. X

I feel so terribly guilty now- I’m glad you ADs are secure and have what you need- you’ve been so good to me and I didn’t mean to offend, I feel like a right dicksplash now. I think it’s reading the constant threads of ‘what car to buy’ and ‘how much money should I put in my pention’ and those same people are happily enjoying shouting and moralising only the D threads about someone visiting their granny for a cuppa... I’m really sorry everyone. X

Oh DWPmisery1972 please don't apologise to me, you didn't offend me in the slightest. You have had it really tough recently and I know you weren't trying to upset people. Feeling a little bit soppy right now, I know that we are all women from various parts of the country with various different home situations but these are the first threads that I have ever been on where I have actually felt a part of a Mumsnet community. Thank you all for listening to me and making me feel accepted!

Dwp, that's not how your post came across to me at all. Don't worry. I think people have made very similar comments across many threads here that many of the very vocal lockdown supporters are able to be so because their situations facilitate it.

@thefallthroughtheair I am so sorry that is just heartbreaking. I hope you find something or someone to help you asap.

I am worried about my grandson, or rather their parents handling of him. His older brother six is fine in lockdown, happy to work online, stay indoors in cold weather.

The four year old on the other hand is causing his parents and nursery grief, playing up, disobedient, damaging things, generally miserable little boy. OH says it would help if his father and mother were not glued to their phones with business and social things, or spending fity hours a week at the office or obsessed with housework. I have to wonder about that and feel he is falling through the cracks of their busy life. The eldest is happy to amuse himself all day, this little chap needs time and attention.

HIs parents have been googling how to deal with a naughty child, self help type of stuff. I think he just needs more attention, but what do I know.

He is so like his father, butterfly mind we used to call him. He is also just like his grandpa, butterfly mind low boredom threshold, always on the go like a duracell bunny. Father and grandpa are both dyslexic, highly talented in their fields, but to live with somewhat challenging.

Any advice out there??

@DWPmisery1972 apparently the Duchess of Cambridge looks in here, she is also knackered and fed up she says with trying to hold it all together. Was on an instagram zoom call. We all have different concerns, problems, moments of despair, the important thing is that we have it at different times, so hopefully can hold each other up.

@DWPmisery1972

Honestly you lot have got me through some tough times-.when I was alone in hospital I knew I could post here and I felt like I was ‘with people’. I’m so grateful this thread exists. You women are awesome and I hope what I said earlier didn’t upset anyone- I only wanted to point out the overt ‘show offs’ who can get on with lockdown with less pain and emotional turmoil than a lot of us

I know a lot of us have mental health issues too and that just exacerbates the issues surrounding lockdown. I’m so sorry and sad to hear about your guys children suffering; in a way I’m lucky that mine are little and don’t even really understand what’s going on - big hugs to everyone and you’re all brilliant and I’m not judging anyone at all, much love x.

Something that came up as a frequent point of common experience was that many of us had faced loss of loved ones and an acceptance of mortality.

A lesson I learned rather young. It also taught me that it's best to crack on and live as much as you can, while you can. A major reason why the past year has been so frustrating.

@DWPmisery1972

Honestly you lot have got me through some tough times-.when I was alone in hospital I knew I could post here and I felt like I was ‘with people’. I’m so grateful this thread exists. You women are awesome and I hope what I said earlier didn’t upset anyone- I only wanted to point out the overt ‘show offs’ who can get on with lockdown with less pain and emotional turmoil than a lot of us

I know a lot of us have mental health issues too and that just exacerbates the issues surrounding lockdown. I’m so sorry and sad to hear about your guys children suffering; in a way I’m lucky that mine are little and don’t even really understand what’s going on - big hugs to everyone and you’re all brilliant and I’m not judging anyone at all, much love x.

I don't think you upset anyone, certainly not me; it was good to have a reminder that it is easy to think that there is 'us' and 'them' whereas we are all a mixture of opnions, feelings, incomes and lifestyles.

My siblings all fit into the demographic you describe and are all pretty dementory (mostly a bit older than me - and my younger sister's husband is over 70 and all very comfortably off with net worth above 1 million). I am comfortable in that I own my home outright and have a garden but am existing on little more than state pension and have always been the poor relation.

As @ISaySteadyOn said - so many lack imagination as well as empathy rather than having a particular lifestyle

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