Stupid things you have done

[tapestrymarlon]

I'm sure there are other threads like this, but I am starting my own, because today this happened:

I was making vegetable soup in my new Vitamix, and I heard something bouncing around inside, but assumed it was the fibrous broccoli (I haven't had a high powered blender before, so didn't know what was normal).

However, at the end of 6 minutes and 30 seconds (it cooks the soup as well as blending it), I discovered that I had made teaspoon soup.

The jugs are £140...

Just recently, taking a nice hot lasagne out of the oven, realised I'd not picked up my oven gloves, motioned to partner that I needed oven gloves, he threw me a tea towel. I dried my hands on the tea towel ( they weren't even wet) then put the tea towel down and pulled the lasagne out bare handed. Ooo the blisters. Iv ironed my boob, broken toes kicking furnature that has lived where it is for 10 years, broke a rib sneezing, split my perineum by falling off the trampoline and landing with one leg between springs and one on the other side of the bar, tried to trim in a fringe using hair clippers and ended up shaving an eyebrow off, fractured my leg falling off the victoria monument outside Buckingham Palace. I'm stopping there, before someone recognises me for some of the worse ones

have remembered another..somehow coming off the roundabout the wrong way, facing a van when I had not long passed my test. felt I was on there spanking for too long, and wanted to get off at the next exit 😕luckily it was quite late on boxing day, so pretty quiet! I think I have loads..

*the roundabout, never had spanking as an autocorrct 😂

Burned myself making ice cream.

Cooked dinner for my new boyfriend when I was 21, got mixed up between a clove of garlic and a bulb, used three bulbs, needless to say he bravely had a go at eating it before we went to the chippy.

Same boyfriend a few years later, I was driving his car and accidentally scraped the side on a post, ripping off the trim. I squinted at it in the dark and decided I was lucky and it was just the trim that had come off, so I scooped up the trim and drove home, telling my boyfriend that “kids” must’ve ripped the trim off while I was parked. He took it to the garage to repair it and happened to mention that the mechanic had found general scratches on the paintwork in that area... “I wonder what those could be...”

One more, only a few days ago. New steam shower installed, I was standing in the steam thinking “I wonder where the steam is actually coming from? Could it be that stainless steel box?” and decided to find out by putting my hand right up to it. Anyway yes it did come from the box. And I do have blisters.

A long time ago when I was in the Army - I had to prepare a report for a high ranking officer to read. He snatched it off the table and it was at that point I realised I had stapled it to my tie. ( I had used some sort of industrial electrical stapler ) He made me stand to attention next to him as he read it out - still attached.

@MellieNelba

I visualised that one and it's hilarious! One for you to dine out on forever!

dropped my iphone and in an effort to save it from getting damaged on the kitchen floor I put my foot in the way to help break its fall, which it did, except it also broke my little toe as it landed on it. epic pain, epic fail.