Stupid things you have done

[tapestrymarlon]

I'm sure there are other threads like this, but I am starting my own, because today this happened:

I was making vegetable soup in my new Vitamix, and I heard something bouncing around inside, but assumed it was the fibrous broccoli (I haven't had a high powered blender before, so didn't know what was normal).

However, at the end of 6 minutes and 30 seconds (it cooks the soup as well as blending it), I discovered that I had made teaspoon soup.

The jugs are £140...

Reversing my car into our space, I waved at DH ‘honey I’m home style’ ...... and reversed into his motorbike, and kept going....

I paid for the repairs. Dh found it hilarious. Still brings it up 30 years later.

🙋🏼‍♀️me too @Wendyhause

Going through a car wash and the big brushes turned my mirrors in, so I opened the window to push them out again...

Just a little bit wet 🙃

Does newborn sleep deprivation stupidity count? Crying because I couldn't work out how to lock the house with the car key remote

Stood on the toilet lid to clean the blind, foot went straight through the lid, down I go backwards like a tonne of bricks, foot goes down the loo, big toe gets caught on the bottom U bend bit and gets ripped to shreds....cue lots of swearing, washing of feet, disinfectant and then bright blue plasters as that's all I had

Oh god where do I start?

There was the time I opened the oven door after pre heating it to put the chips in and balanced the bag of chips on the oven door.

Or the time I put a load of bread on the recently switched off ceramic hob and had to scrape melted hovis bag off it.

Or the time I phoned a client and left a voicemail, carefully leaving them their own phone number to call instead of mine

So many!
Fallen down the stairs many times as I forgot where the last step was.
Walked into the blanket box at the end of our bed on around a monthly basis, so every time the bruise faded, I redid it. (We have moved now and the blanket box isn't there any more)
Walked into a substantial and large piece of furniture which was in the middle of the room and broke my toe. Broke the same toe a few years later by accidentally kicking the table leg.
Cut my finger open trying to get wax off a candle holder (glass) - the wax came off bit pulled a piece of glass off with it.
Been on a ski lift type thing with the safety bar up as I didn't know where it was and then it was too late to ask.
Put the wrong oven on multiple times and failed to cook dinner.
I could go on...

Oh and the time I parked on a hill outside my parents' house and tried to reverse so I could pull out. Car rolled the first time so I thought I didn't have the biting point. On the second attempt I properly revved the gas and hit the back of my mum's car. I hadn't put it in reverse! My dad was stood at the front door watching the whole thing

Oh god...I'll be typing all night.

Sent a fax around 40 times as it kept coming out.

Baaaahhhh'd loudly like a sheep when asked to say bar, during a disagreement with a southener re correct pronunciation of bastard.

Threw myself under the duvet when dh said to say hi to bil on a voice call. For some reason I thought he could see me.

Asked a local acquaintance why he was in b&q so much (we were in almost daily when doing the bathroom up). He works there.

That is the tip of the iceberg tbh.

Early pregnancy and my brain had fallen out. Went to fish a piece of toast out of the toaster. With a knife.

Happily I was spotted and more or less wrestled to the ground.

Put some dirty laundry in a cupboard and washed a box of teabags on a delicates cycle.
Put my finger into a pan of baked beans to see if they were hot. They were.

Transferring washing to tumble dryer and ended up with my first ever broken bone and open fracture to my hand thanks to a slamming door. I now have a very deformed finger. (Still healing)

Argh did this recently and still get so cross thinking about it. Did the weekly food shop. Locked my car and threw the car key into one of the shopping bags, unpacked shopping and obviously didn't remember I left my key in the carrier bag. Put said carrier bag back in the bag cupboard.. Monday morning getting ready to take DD to nursery and can't find my key.. Running late already so had to call a cab. Spent 3 days looking for the bastard key and just didn't think to look inside the carrier bag.. 3 days of taking taxis too and from nursery...gave up and had to get someone to cut a new key as I don't have a spare.. Cost me £300 in total, new keys and taxis.... Get to the weekend, going to do food shop... Retrieve offending carrier bag... Low and behold.. Found my car key. I now have 3 keys. Felt like such a moron. Expensive lesson learnt.

@YippeeKayakOtherBuckets you are brilliant but can I ask if you are menopausal...if you are it's normal, if you're nowhere near start the omega 3,6,9 supplements now

Lady in park told me my dd had her wellies on the wrong foot. I've done so many silly things.

Partner saying 'lets see what you think if my driving' in hire car and off we went due to gravity on a hill... He hadn't turned on the engine. At the end of the journey he got out without putting handbrake on and had to run and jump back in as slight slope meant car was about to go into my parents wall.

My mum went into a supermarket and saw a nice display and a sign '3 for £5'... A bargain she thought and started picking things up. A shop assistant asked her what she was doing.... It was the prize table for a raffle.

Tried to prise two frozen roast potatoes apart with a knife.
DH came in after hearing a Yelp. I had the knife sticking out of my hand, stabbed myself in the finger.

My dad caught me putting a knife in the toaster once and went mental. Little did he know I did it every single time I made toast. I honestly didn't know it was bad! I must be very lucky because I genuinely did it all the time!

Spent too much time on Mumsnet...

@Aahotep

Tried to prise two frozen roast potatoes apart with a knife. DH came in after hearing a Yelp. I had the knife sticking out of my hand, stabbed myself in the finger.

Dh did this with beef burgers, straight through the palm of his hand. The nurse stitching him up at the hospital asked if he was a “safe fellow”. Turned out he was asking if he had Aids 😳

@Elouera

First time I was left home alone (maybe late teens) and proudly did 2 loads of wash. Hung them all out to realise I hadnt added any detergant at all.

Good training fir being a student..

We never had any washing powder

Impatient defrosting the freezer with a knife. Stabbed the gassy thing. New fridge freezer bought.

Then did it again a couple of years later.
I learned to defrost with a hair dryer

I had to replace my car last week. On Saturday I drove it for the first time and when I pulled up and switched the engine off a little message popped out on the dash saying 'interior scan on' when I opened the door a noise started up not unlike when you set your house alarm..
Thinking this must be a warning to exit the car before an alarm sounded I started rushing out of the car, got my handbag strap around the handbrake. I'm in a busy ( for lockdown) shopping street and was in full view of people as I'm trying to get out quickly and without grace, limbs flying everywhere and getting yanked back in by my bag. But! I made it. Upon return the car made the same noise so I hurriedly put the cars in the ignition.
Upon arrival at home I go through the same palaver. An hour later I can see the headlights on on my car, that was the noise

After reading many more posts here I realise I have committed at least 6 of the above stupids.
Have any of you ever attempted to staple some papers together and managed to staple your finger tip? Asking for a friend.

I was temping about 10 years ago and as there wasn't anywhere to eat for lunch I sat in my car for an hour....got a little bored....one lunchtime I was playing with the electric windows and shut my own fingers in the window as I was putting it up!

The next day i was intrigued by the cigarette charger.... needless to say I think I lost my fingerprint on that finger!

I then started going for walks in my lunch hour!

So so many. My best was an accident I had resulting in dislocated and broken shoulder. Too outing but madness
The foot in loo sounds EXACTLY like something I'd do
I'm surprised I've not electrocuted myself yet with toaster antics.
Picked up a (lit) disposable bbq by the corner to move it around a bit. Burned the grid shape onto my fingers - why I didn't think freshly lit metal would already be hot...no clue