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Original poster

Stupid things you have done

157 replies

tapestrymarlon · 25/01/2021 18:38

I'm sure there are other threads like this, but I am starting my own, because today this happened:

I was making vegetable soup in my new Vitamix, and I heard something bouncing around inside, but assumed it was the fibrous broccoli (I haven't had a high powered blender before, so didn't know what was normal).

However, at the end of 6 minutes and 30 seconds (it cooks the soup as well as blending it), I discovered that I had made teaspoon soup.

The jugs are £140...

OP posts:
Royalty2k · 26/01/2021 01:34
  • deodorant
grassisjeweled · 26/01/2021 01:41

I once trapped my fingers in a door window. It was all the way up, my fingers fucking stuck in it, trapped. Total agony. I screamed at DH to wind the window down to release me.

20 mins later it had stopped hurting Confused completely and disappointingly there was no bruise or mark or nothing. Very annoying

LakeGeneva · 26/01/2021 01:53

Shortly after starting a new job got a puncture on my pushbike, took it to the bike shop near work, went to pick it up and it's not roadworthy (i kind of knew this but was chancing it as v skint), bloke offered me one that had been passed onto him that was in much better condition for free, such a nice guy, rode it happily to nursery pickup, heaved a sigh of relief at unexpected turnaround to potentially income wrecking day ... and then promptly fell over bike while standing to get off it, as the crossbar was a slightly different height and I caught my foot on it. I literally just toppled over to one side.

Ladybird69 · 26/01/2021 02:05

Moved into first home aged 18. It was total renovation project. I cooked shepherd pie in the microwave in the tin foil dishes! Few sparks!
Firstly I was newly pregnant! Never had microwave before! but that same microwave lasted 25 years, longer than the marriage!!!

Notimeforaname · 26/01/2021 02:19

I walked into the same street signpost almost every evening..for a year.

chesterfuckingdraws · 26/01/2021 02:43

I could write a book:
wondered if stapling my finger would hurt-it did, straight through my nail.

Stabbed my hand separating frozen burgers resulting in an operation to see my tendon back together

Managed to drip freshly made extra thick lentil soup on my hand badly scalding it causing some blisters. covered it with a dressing to protect it to go to work. Made a very hungover "service user" a cup of extra sweet black tea in a small polystyrene cup and managed squeeze the cup covering my already burnt hand in boiling hot sugar water which the dressing from earlier soaked up resulting in a massive blister requiring hospital treatment.

DH was fitting a curtain pole so I suggesting holding the hoover nozzle to catch the dust but the hose didn't quite reach so I picked up the hoover and my finger got wrapped round the beater bar.

Last one there's many, many more had a gas engineer in to check heating who asked me to turn on hot water upstairs, slipped on tiles at bottom of stairs and really hurt my ankle. Hobbled upstairs then on coming back down sore ankle gave way and I fell down the stairs . Had to pretend all was find "just clumsy" etc etc until DH came home and took me to minor injuries, fractured foot in first fall and badly sprained other ankle in second. I had to crawl round the house for weeks Grin

BasiliskStare · 26/01/2021 02:57

Does this get the prize for the most stupid thing ?

I put a pair of trousers in the washing machine and realised I had left my debit card in the pocket. DH said - " the washing machine has stopped I'm just going to put everything in the dryer." To which I said -" Oh don't put my trousers in because they have my debit card in the pocket." - He looked at me quizzically & said - "Why don't I just take the debit card out of the pocket ?" I am blaming a menopausal brain thing and that is my story and I am sticking to it. ( I am not normally completely dim) Grin

IHaveBrilloHair · 26/01/2021 03:22

I managed to burn my face on the iron, because I was smelling the clothes right next to it.

GrinchnotHinch · 26/01/2021 03:45

@Timeforatincture

Early pregnancy and my brain had fallen out. Went to fish a piece of toast out of the toaster. With a knife.

Happily I was spotted and more or less wrestled to the ground.

This is mine, except I didn’t get wrestled and I short circuited the house Blush better than being electrocuted mind you Confused
GrinchnotHinch · 26/01/2021 03:46

I also can’t blame baby brain I just decided a knife was the most suitable tool for the job Confused

BasiliskStare · 26/01/2021 05:19

@IHaveBrilloHair - ha ha - at least you weren't trying to answer the telephone

Lucieintheskye · 26/01/2021 06:41

Oh so, so many.

I was home alone at 18 and told DH (at the time a very new boyfriend who I was rather giggly and nervous around) I'd cook him dinner. Tried to make spaghetti bolognese but the mince burnt, I had no passata/tomato anything and I forgot to add water to the spaghetti. We ended up with toast Blush

I've poured boiling water into the coffee jar, poured half-drunk cups of tea in the bin, forgot to open the gate before reversing my brand new car off the drive and when I got the car back from the garage I left a massive just bought starbucks coffee cup on the roof of the car and drove off with the window down...

The worst by far was when DH and I moved into our house a neighbour popped by to introduce herself. She has a strong cornish accent (Sounds like a pirate) and she'd asked if DH was my father. I really couldn't work out what she said so politely nodded. Rural community so the new shiny neighbours' information gets passed around quickly. We were then invited to a neighbourhood BBQ and got some very odd looks when we kissed and when DH put his hand on my leg. It took them a year and many gatherings to ask what was going on.

Imissmoominmama · 26/01/2021 07:53

Haha- that’s brilliant! Grin

Imissmoominmama · 26/01/2021 07:56

I’ve just remembered when I found a crease in the very thin blouse I was wearing to go out. Instead of taking it off to iron, I decided to blast it with the steam iron whilst wearing it...

honeylulu · 26/01/2021 08:02

I have done the chicken stock/sieve/ straight down the sink one. I'm not really very good at proper cooking and I was so proud that I had made this absolutely delicious smelling stock. I felt like a proper grown up for once. When i realised what I had done, I could still see the stock pooling away around the plughole . I sat on the kitchen floor howling and crying.

Also went out of front door to lob a pooey nappy in the outdoor bin. Door had a tendency to slam shut so I took my keys. Which I lobbed into the bin. Then realised I was still holding the pooey nappy. Had to scrabble through the bin in order to find keys and get back in house. Could hear baby screaming and older child panicking.

You would think I had learned my lesson but I did it again about two weeks later.

I've also missed two holiday flights just by being disorganised. On one occasion because I went to Gatwick instead of Heathrow.

My eldest has been diagnosed with ADHD. I think perhaps I should get myself assessed too.

harknesswitch · 26/01/2021 08:02

Put vodka into my iron instead of water

Love the warmth and small of clothes straight out of the tumble dryer, grabbed some out and pressed my face into them, I ended up with a burn mark in the shape of a zip on my cheek and neck that took ages to go

Franticbutterfly · 26/01/2021 08:13

@tapestrymarlon

I'm sure there are other threads like this, but I am starting my own, because today this happened:

I was making vegetable soup in my new Vitamix, and I heard something bouncing around inside, but assumed it was the fibrous broccoli (I haven't had a high powered blender before, so didn't know what was normal).

However, at the end of 6 minutes and 30 seconds (it cooks the soup as well as blending it), I discovered that I had made teaspoon soup.

The jugs are £140...

This makes me sad. Your poor lovely blender Shock
Xoxoxoxoxoxox · 26/01/2021 08:22

My personal best is
Returning a hire car had to throw the keys through the company letterbox as it was after hours. I was very careful to leave it empty and reasonably clean.
Threw the keys in and realised I hadn’t locked it.
I was worried all night, they rang the next day but it was only to confirm the mileage, the next and they hadn’t noticed.

TinkersRucksack · 26/01/2021 08:44

Got into my car, acknowledged there was another vehicle in the vicinity, put my car into reverse then reversed straight into the car I'd previously acknowledged.

I've done that twice.

Deathraystare · 26/01/2021 09:35

When I was six years old went to the cinema for the first time. Sat on top of the seat until the interval as I didn't realise you had to push the seat down and then sit on it.

I did this too! Dad, Brother and I went to see Bambi. It was very dark when we got in. I thought I had sat on a man's lap but was too embarrassed to move! Not only did I find the fact that Bambi's mum died distressing, but thought I would be told off eventually by a man! My Dad just said he thought it was weird that I had sat so high up! My relief when the lights went up on my tear stained face and found no man underneath me!!!!

Deathraystare · 26/01/2021 09:40

The laundered tea bags reminds me of the daft things I have done more than once.

Absolutely filled the teapot up and stood there wondering where to put the hot water. Also tried to put the kettle in the fridge.

The last stupid thing I did (surely not!) was lost the salt grinder. Looked everywhere for it. Two days later it was found in the salad box in the fridge. Shame I live alone and cannot blame anyone else innit?

livelyredjellybean · 26/01/2021 10:22

My most recent was putting the slow cooker put on the gas hob, cracking it... DH found it absolutely hilarious 🤦‍♀️

Wendyhause · 26/01/2021 13:04

@GrinchnotHinch

I also can’t blame baby brain I just decided a knife was the most suitable tool for the job Confused
Oh how dangerous to put a metal knife into the toaster! Electric shock waiting to happen there!

Next time use a plastic one.

Wendyhause · 26/01/2021 13:08

When learning to drive I did something far too serious to admit to here but thank god for duel controls and the quick thinking of Mr. Watson! He is probably dead now but thank god it was not me who killed him.

SummerRemembered · 26/01/2021 13:10

There was a massive bluebottle buzzing around the house. It landed on the curtains so I picked up the nearest thing to hand thinking, yes that will make a good fly swat. I whooshed the implement through the air... It was a ruddy great kitchen knife and I slashed right through the curtain.

DH saw it happening as if in slow motion but couldn't believe I was quite stupid enough to do it.