Stupid things you have done

[tapestrymarlon]

I'm sure there are other threads like this, but I am starting my own, because today this happened:

I was making vegetable soup in my new Vitamix, and I heard something bouncing around inside, but assumed it was the fibrous broccoli (I haven't had a high powered blender before, so didn't know what was normal).

However, at the end of 6 minutes and 30 seconds (it cooks the soup as well as blending it), I discovered that I had made teaspoon soup.

The jugs are £140...

Dropped my hair straighteners and caught them before they hit the floor. Carpet was saved. Fingers not so much

Keys in the ignition! Not cars.

@dillydallydollydaydream7

Going through a car wash and the big brushes turned my mirrors in, so I opened the window to push them out again...

Just a little bit wet 🙃

Went through a car wash but didn't realize the sun roof was slightly open. Water and foam started coming in, dd was only about 3 and she got upset. Next time I went through I made sure the sunroof was closed, but unfortunately one of the windows was slightly open. 3 year old got upset again. 3rd time lucky! Sunroof shut- check. Windows shut- check. All ok I thought. Bastard door not quite shut, water and foam coming in, 3 year old hysterical in the back, I opened the door and slammed it, catching part of the car wash brushes in the door so I had to open it again as the brush got stuck, 3 year old now screaming the place down, fun times! To make matters worse, it was the car wash attached to the place I worked at. I don't go to car washes now.

I put a steriliser full of baby bottles into the microwave one night but hit 'grill' instead of cook.....the whole lot melted together into one big lump of plastic.

Put a bowl of water with chopped lemons into a (different!) microwave to cook and then clean the inside with the condensation, but forgot to add the water so set fire to the microwave and made the house smell of smoke and burnt lemons for weeks after.

@randomchap

Made a lovely French onion soup. Picked up the colander, wandered over to the sink and strained it. Keeping the winey/beefy onions.

The next time I was cooking it, my wife grabbed both colanders and ran out of the kitchen laughing

All morning a nice beef broth cooking and last few minutes some tortellini in it Adult son said Sit down I'll finish that.Strained the broth down the sink...and he's a chef!

Blew up balloons for my friend's birthday party. Carried them downstairs only for every single one of them to burst. I'd over inflated them with the balloon pump 😭

On returning home from a friends house, I found their Sky remote in my handbag.
I didn’t even have Sky 🤷🏼‍♀️

Put my hands on the hob to see if it was hot

Spoiler - it was

I had two broken fingers when someone else sat on them.

Brand new knife, slicing a loaf of bread, lovely painless cut to my finger, the pain only started once I saw the blood and there was a lot of blood, I had to keep it steri stripped for a week. The bread ended up in the bin.

Far, far too many to list. But I’ve found my people.

Loving all the car incidents .. you are my people ... I’m not boasting nor am I proud but have done all of those listed and worse 😩
I’m actually a very good driver but have ridiculous incidents... usually while concentrating on singing along to the radio 📻

Made a cup of tea. Put the little foil thingy from the top of the new carton of milk in the mug and poured the milk into the bin.

I had a strawberry shaped and realistically scented soap. It was irresistible....

@puguin86

Put my hands on the hob to see if it was hot

Spoiler - it was

Sorry - that made me laugh 😂 so much Hope it didn’t hurt for too long ..

Went for my Covid vaccine today and aware it can give you a sore arm when the nurse asked which arm I’d prefer I thought about how I sleep and said my right. Just got into bed and realised I’ve been sleeping on my right arm for the past 36 years and clearly forgot that today. Now trying to find a better position for tonight!

My baby was napping and I didn't want to wake him up by putting the light on in the Kitchen so I attempted to strain the peas in the dark and proceeded to burn my belly really bad with boiling hot water. I had to walk around with no clothes hardly as the friction was murder! Then I had to show it to the Doctor who looks like a model who made me feel better by saying he did the same thing cooking a steak without his top on !!! Lesson I have learnt, put the light on in the kitchen

Broke my toe by stubbing it on the side of a swimming pool.

Split open my nose by swimming into the side of a swimming pool, while teaching DC how to swim.

Strained pasta over my foot instead of over sink.

Split my head open on a cupboard door, after telling myself I needed to close that door before I hit my head.

Lost the car keys, couldn't find them anywhere, almost late for school, call DH in a panic who reminds me we have a spare set, grab spare set, go to unlock the car to get DC strapped in, car won't unlock.
Car wouldn't unlock because I had left the missing set keys in the ignition over night and the car was already unlocked.

Told my DP to put lemon slices in a jug of water into the microwave to remove smells...
They were still sat in there a week later - he ‘didn’t realise’ you had to heat them up as I ‘didn’t tell him that bit...’

Shut my (big) hair in the cars’ window and couldn’t find the button to undo the window again to free me - hadn’t had the car very long....

Reversed Dhs new car into mine, as I was curious what happened with the reversing bleeps if you got VERY close (you crash - my number plate is now cracked😱)

Burst into tears on a petrol forecourt as car wouldn’t move and ‘must be broken’
I hadn’t put the keys in the ignition...

@Curlygirl06. You just reminded me of my car wash incident too 😩
I was asked not to go back to our local one ...just a minor mistake, I didn’t mean any harm , but managed to jam my wheels somewhere “ off the track rods “ ( don’t ask me I still don’t know ) ... whole system seemed to be stuck and non functioning and 4 young lads had to lift it straight while getting wet .
They were very cross and I cried for ages when I got home because I was pre menstrual .
I sound like a complete idiot but I’m not really ..

@CautiouslyPessimistic

I hear you...!!

Pregnant, so temporarily hard of thinking. Decided to make lovely roast potatoes in goose fat. Oh no, goose fat all solid! Attempt to dig it out with sharp knife. Knife goes through goose fat, through plastic tub, into palm of hand. I have a nice little scar, it looks like a white staple.

@Onlymeandthedognow

Burst into tears on a petrol forecourt as car wouldn’t move and ‘must be broken’ I hadn’t put the keys in the ignition...

Forecourt reference- prompted a memory of the time I filled my car with petrol instead of diesel, or the other way round 🙄 £190 to get it pumped out ...

Wish I’d never started on this thread I sound like a total fool .. I’m stopping now

My first coffee of the morning put everything in the cup coffee , sugar, hot water then proceeded to pour the milk in the sugar pot.

Boiled some water for pasta on a gas hob. Put the spaghetti in and left it. Popped out of the kitchen and luckily went back in a few minutes later. I'd forgotten to push all of the spaghetti into the water and it had bent back over the pan and into the flames on the cooker