How does one fart?

[withmycoffee]

Reading a post today about someone's DP farting whist she ate and another about adult DSS comic farting I started wondering, what is fart etiquette in your relationship/family/home?

Do people fart openly? Leave the room? Leave the bed before releasing? Say 'excuse me'? Laugh each time? What is typical fart behaviour?

My little girl does them and announces her name then says Pops.. If I've accidentally done one she said "mummy pops" 🤣 thankfully I'm single.. I could never do it in front of a partner.

How do the 'leave the room-ers' manage to stand up without farting on the way up? Or at least without a funny walk?

Me and DH don't purposely fart in front of the other but often it cannot be helped.

I have IBS so do fart a lot. Sorry but I am not leaving the room every time. I would be in and out like crazy. Also not going to keep getting in and out of bed each time I fart.

We have both seen each other on the loo. I have been so ill with migraines that I can't sit on the loo without being held. Also sometimes one of us needs the loo desperately when the other is in the shower.

I do find it a bit odd that people can't be relaxed and themselves with their OH

It’s really not that hard to hold in a fart, the same way you would hold it in if you was somewhere public? you don’t just see loads of people wondering around unable to hold them in, it’s funny how people seem to manage in public in front of other people

I agree it's not very sexy to fart in front of your partner or husband or vice versa
Accidental ones are ok.

II'd be interested to know whether OW and OM fart in front of their affair partners.
Or do they try and retain some mystery and romance?

@lynsey91

Me and DH don't purposely fart in front of the other but often it cannot be helped.

I have IBS so do fart a lot. Sorry but I am not leaving the room every time. I would be in and out like crazy. Also not going to keep getting in and out of bed each time I fart.

We have both seen each other on the loo. I have been so ill with migraines that I can't sit on the loo without being held. Also sometimes one of us needs the loo desperately when the other is in the shower.

I do find it a bit odd that people can't be relaxed and themselves with their OH

I'm comfortable with my partner. I just don't want to smell his guts or him smell mine.

Never purposely in front of each other. Both find it gross and unnecessary. Dp apologises in advance when he knows he will be farting all night!

I live alone and fart as and when. I wouldn't fart when in public, when visiting someone or when people visit me. I'd go to the bathroom and fart in private then. I used to fart in front of my partner but she didn't often do so in front of me.

I'm comfortable with my partner. I just don't want to smell his guts or him smell mine.

Yep same, it’s not about not being comfortable, I just find them gross and I don’t really want to sit in someone else’s stink no matter how much I love them some things I won’t put up with, it’s rude imo.

@CandleWick4

This is actually a pretty interesting thread, how different people behave. So we’re half and half, DH farts freely and loudly (he never smells though). I fart in front of him regularly but only him. No one else and only accidental in front of DC. My DC (2 girls) aren’t very farty but when they do they give a giggle and say ‘oh I just farted’. They know it’s not something to do in front of others and not at the table. I honestly couldn’t imagine not having a fart or a wee in front of my DH. He watched me give birth twice so the odd fart is no big deal

Very interesting thread.

I think younger women are quite happy to trump away and treat their husbands like mates.
Older women, who have been round the block a bit, possibly been burnt a bit, sense on some level that it's best to keep a bit of mystery and romance and sexiness in a marriage.
yes it's a bit old fashioned, but there's something to be said for it.

DJ and I just do it if we have to. I would leave the room if anyone other than immediate family was present. If unavoidable a glare at the cat helps!

likeamillpond I very much take issue with that snarky comment. Firstly you have absolutely no idea how old I am or whether I’ve been ‘burnt’ or not, so insinuating that I treat my husband like a mate and that there is no romance or sexiness is odd. Our marriage is full of love, sexiness and romance - farts and all!!

We encourage a bit of decorum around breaking wind. Like leaving the room.

One of my children told me off for farting in front of them the other day - what did they expect given that they followed me into the toilet?!

I think its height of total disrespect to do this in front of your Partner or a friend !

I can't stand them,
It makes me feel sick !

Its not funny at all!

I hope anybody who does this has a poo accident to give them a bit fright in social circles .😡

Plain nasty

@likeamillpond I reckon it's the live laugh love brigade..

[quote missrm]@likeamillpond I reckon it's the live laugh love brigade.. [/quote]
Not at all

I was once watching a private riding lesson in a large cavernous arena with a friend. The instructor left to use the facilities, down a very echoey hall. And he forgot to turn his microphone off. We heard shuffling, him undoing his zip, then the longest wee in the world came over the tanoid system. My friend and I were already in fits of giggles when he farted!! It was gargantuan and reverberated around the arena!! We both lost it at that point. We were doubled over, years rolling down our cheeks, desperately trying to straighten up and act normal by the time that he returned. So, the correct etiquette would be to ensure that any personal audio devices are turned off first, prior to letting rip.

@thosetalesofunexpected

I think its height of total disrespect to do this in front of your Partner or a friend !

I can't stand them,
It makes me feel sick !

Its not funny at all!

I hope anybody who does this has a poo accident to give them a bit fright in social circles .😡

Plain nasty

Behave

Generally we aren't bothered, we do like to blame the cat though.
When dd is proper belly laughing she farts, which then leads to more laughing.

My DF & DB were always very embarrassed & uptight about farting - DF would say things like “ Who’s been anti social?”. DM was more relaxed & DH & I are extremely relaxed! We’re actually like a couple of kids! Having said that, we tell DD that there’s a time & a place. I do think it can be hilarious! DH & I have competitions & mark our farts for length, volume & tonal quality lol 🤣

P.S We do know that farting is a private thing & would never deliberately let one go in public. I could fart in front of my best friend but wouldn’t unless I really couldn’t help it.

Loving these replies!

Farting happens whenever it needs to except when at the dining table I'm our house!
When you've got Crohns, lots of poo and farts is part of daily life and can't be hidden. I used to be so embarrassed but now I don't give a shit 🤣!

DH - tries to contain it but wouldn’t get out of bed at night to fart so that’s when I hear/smell most of his delights

DD (12) - Doesn’t tend to fart in front of anyone unless it’s an accident

DS (4) - thinks it’s brilliant to fart loud and proud and often asks me to smell them 😂

Myself - Very discreet. Currently 16w pregnant so sometimes difficult to control !

None of us would fart in front of wider family, friends etc. Well the 4 year old probably would

How do I fart?

Lift my leg and let rip generally. Love a good fart

If I think I am 'building one up' I sneak out of the room and insert a party whistle into my backside - you know the sort that unrolls with a feather on the end - and then I come back into the room and 'set' the whistle off.

It always goes down very well in the Cabinet Office, especially if the meeting is dragging on a bit.