Why are teachers still referred to as Mr/Mrs/Miss X?

[ChimaeraEgg]

Idle musing of the day but why do children still have to address teachers using their surnames? I assume that originally this was a respect thing and due to the fact that it was normal to address people at work or other adults as Mr/Mrs X? But I'm 32 and never in my adult life have I addressed another adult using their surname. School is the only place I have done it.

Beats me. Some people are very particular about forms of address and take offence if someone should dare to use their first name. It's even dafter than the practice of prefixing first names with 'Auntie' and 'Uncle' with people who aren't even related.

But I'm 32 and never in my adult life have I addressed another adult using their surname.

I am guessing you have never worked in a customer-facing job? Or if you did, you probably inadvertently annoyed people by using their first name when you didn't know them.

Using a person's title is about respect - not particularly an adult/child respect but respecting the fact your relationship with the person is formal or business-related. It sets the tone for your interaction and avoids boundaries being crossed.

It helps maintain a professional distance and sets boundaries.

They don't have to do it, often different at primary, alway different at tertiary in my experience.

I am guessing you have never worked in a customer-facing job

Not since I worked in retail many years ago. However, I obviously interact with customer service professionals as a customer, and never once have I been addressed as Mrs Smith. If they call they don't say "hello, am I speaking to Mrs Smith?". They say "hello, am I speaking to Jane Smith?"

You weren’t an adult when you were at school. It’s about creating a formal work like environment for children who have no experience of one.

But in customer facing jobs, when you are dealing with adults you don’t know on a professional basis - including your GP etc - it’s normal to use a surname

It helps maintain a professional distance and sets boundaries.

Why isn't it done in workplaces then?

I would call any doctor I saw by their title, most of my university lecturers by Dr/professor (except one who wanted us to call him by his first name), accountant and solicitor. It’s not just teachers.

Plus it happens both ways. I work in a school and regularly have to phone parents. I always address them as Mr/Mrs Smith, never first names.

Again, if the GP calls me they ask for first name last name, not Mrs last name.

@ChimaeraEgg

It helps maintain a professional distance and sets boundaries.

Why isn't it done in workplaces then?

It is sometimes - Dr/Prof being the immediate and obvious examples.

I work in a school and regularly have to phone parents. I always address them as Mr/Mrs Smith, never first names

If the school calls me I just get addressed as X's mum 🤣

@ChimaeraEgg

Again, if the GP calls me they ask for first name last name, not Mrs last name.

Do you call your GP by their first name?

Mine doesnt. Mine calls me by my title and surname.

Do you think we could have a separate teacher section for mumsnet? Ithe number of threads on one profession is becoming quite tedious

I spent four years working at a university and frequently interacted with professors. We never called them professor X and neither did they refer to themselves that way - not in normal day to day interactions with colleagues.

Apart from very close family & friends it’s common for children to address all adults as Mr/Mrs

And in my job I always address domestic clients as Mr/Mrs although not business to business clients. If my bank or gas/electricity provider etc etc phone me, they address me as Mrs. I’d find it rather rude and presumptuous to do otherwise.

Boundaries. I’m Mrs Pattie to everyone until I give permission to call me Panama.

I don't think I address my GP as anything, our interactions don't work that way.

I see a consultant for a long term health issue, and I call her by her first name.

I often used to have dealings with a pair of business partners who addressed each other as 'Mister Surname'. It was bizarre, like Wint and Kidd from Diamonds Are Forever. One wonders if they did it when by themselves or only in company??

@doctorhamster

Plus it happens both ways. I work in a school and regularly have to phone parents. I always address them as Mr/Mrs Smith, never first names.

I've never had a call from my DCs school that started with my first name, I think that's normal too

I've quite a few phone calls this week to try and sort out a domestic issue and every time they've called me Mrs X

I'm really surprised OP that you've never come across this.

@ChimaeraEgg

Again, if the GP calls me they ask for first name last name, not Mrs last name.

That’s never been my experience.

Apart from very close family & friends it’s common for children to address all adults as Mr/Mrs

Is it?!

I never did that as a child. It would be completely bizarre to do that IMO.

When my dd went to 6th form college she hated the informal way they addressed the teachers "call me Steve".

Some schools do use first names for teachers. DS1’s primary did. I found it a bit weird tbh.

When I went to secondary school we had to call all the female teachers ‘Madam’. Was some weird tradition the school insisted on keeping even though it was the 1990’s!

@ChimaeraEgg

I am guessing you have never worked in a customer-facing job

Not since I worked in retail many years ago. However, I obviously interact with customer service professionals as a customer, and never once have I been addressed as Mrs Smith. If they call they don't say "hello, am I speaking to Mrs Smith?". They say "hello, am I speaking to Jane Smith?"

'Hello, am I speaking Jane Smith' is fine - using the full name in the call opening is a standard way of making sure you are speaking to the right person. There might be another female Smith living in the same house.

But further on in the call, do they then address you as 'Jane'? I know some customer service people do just that, and personally I find it irritating unless they at least ask 'do you mind if I call you Jane?' Over-familiarity breeds contempt.