Why are teachers still referred to as Mr/Mrs/Miss X?

[ChimaeraEgg]

Idle musing of the day but why do children still have to address teachers using their surnames? I assume that originally this was a respect thing and due to the fact that it was normal to address people at work or other adults as Mr/Mrs X? But I'm 32 and never in my adult life have I addressed another adult using their surname. School is the only place I have done it.

It’s practise for a suit

Which are fast becoming obsolete in modern workplaces.

I find unnecessary formality very uncomfortable and outdated. I couldn't imagine asking a stranger to call me Ms X.

I couldn't imagine asking a stranger to call me Ms X.

That's what I mean! If someone addressed me as Chimaera and I said "actually, please address me as Mrs Egg", I'd feel like a right knob.

We are all called by our first names at our chool by the children.
Wouldn't work somewhere that didn't. Personal choice.

Ma'am is just a contraction of madam, and both have varying connotations depending on the area which sir does not have. While historically, technically equivalent, socially they just aren't because of how society is to any term for women - like gentleman and gentlewoman, mister and mistress.

I watched my then-15 year old have his live GCSE maths class online last year. He and his peers were quite capable of talking respectfully to their teacher even when using first names. I've never felt he was less safe there or anywhere else he's used an instructor's first name.

I've watched my now 13 year old have live maths lessons and they can be sarky and rude even when they're using Miss or Sir.

It may be easier in some schools to have that uniformity, it's obviously not a universal concept and plenty of schools do without that, but either way, it takes more to teach someone respect and to be respectful and considerate to teachers that replacing a name with a title. That so many look down on those who prefer first names (at least where I'm from, it's terrible etiquette to call someone else bad mannered) shows it's reinforcing the ideals of what they're meant to teach rather than what they might actually teach.

I often call DH Helle. Most of DS's friends call him Helle.

The issue op is when a person who thinks they are in authority insists on a title and calls another stakeholder by their first name. Armed forces excepted - and of course the Queen although somehow I think she'd call me Mrs.

Whenever I read these threads I always feel I'm in some weird informal world compared to others. DDs school teachers all use first names (primary), no uniform either. Never seems to be an issue in terms of respect. If school staff contact me they either use 'DD's mum' if they don't know me well otherwise it's just my first name. When I go the GP practice they use my full name when I get called into the room then first name.

Can't remember the last time someone used my title.

Whenever I read these threads I always feel I'm in some weird informal world compared to others

Yes that's pretty much how I feel!!!

Im used to it as it's how it is. It was nice when he was at nursery using first names though.
I'd never want anyone to refer to me as Mrs Surname, to me it's unnecessary. I'd always say call me First name.
Same as when your Childrens friends call you Mr or Mrs/ Miss/ Ms Surname. Not sure if that's still a thing now but I remember it was years ago. I'd be offended and upset if my child had his or her friends here and they called my husband and I Mr or Mrs Surname. Again I'd say call me First name

@ChimaeraEgg

It would not occur to me to think this was some sort of 'power play' by teachers - but then, every single day on this site someone starts a thread having a dig at teachers

Erm, no one, including me, said it was a power play thing. I said I fully understood it was about boundaries.

This was said by notanotherlockdownsurely in the first couple (ish) of posts, even had a dig about insecurity.

Your GP calls you by your first name because of confidentiality and date protection. I remember going on training where they told us we couldn’t call out patients names because it was a breach. Which was ridiculous so they settled on first name as it’s generally less distinctive

@ChimaeraEgg

It helps maintain a professional distance and sets boundaries.

Why isn't it done in workplaces then?

It is in some. Several of my jobs have involved calling my superiors as Title of their choice Surname.

My doctor is Dr Quack. My specialist is Mr Rheumatologist. My Dentist is Mr Floss. The parents of the children I work with are Title Surname.

@incrediblytired, when I open the door to my Dr's consulting room and if it's a new one they say "hello Roses, I am Dr Bloggs" that has nothing to do with data protection because nobody else is present. If they expect me to call them Dr Blogs I expect them to call me Mrs Hellebores. To assume I should address them formally whilst they address me informally is discourteous and infantilising. I am not a GP's, or any other doctor's subordinate, and to address me as such is unacceptable.

[quote RosesAndHellebores]@incrediblytired, when I open the door to my Dr's consulting room and if it's a new one they say "hello Roses, I am Dr Bloggs" that has nothing to do with data protection because nobody else is present. If they expect me to call them Dr Blogs I expect them to call me Mrs Hellebores. To assume I should address them formally whilst they address me informally is discourteous and infantilising. I am not a GP's, or any other doctor's subordinate, and to address me as such is unacceptable.[/quote]
I’ve never had a doctor call me anything other than Mrs GoodDayToYou Except when I was in labour and all the HCPs asked if it was okay to call me Bugger.

You obviously don't live in SW London/Surrey then Bugger. It's endemic here to subordinate the patient. The number of times I have sat in St George's Hospital outpatients and listened to the men called to their apts as Mr John Smith, whilst the women are called in as Jane Brown is shocking.

Everybody should address others by Mr/Mrs/Miss etc until invited to call them by another name. I expect to be called Mrs x until I say call me Serena.

@Serena1977 I'm married, but how do they know my title? Clue: I'm not a Mrs DH's name.

My notes should be marked with my title. I've asked enough times for it to be noted clearly.

@LolaSmiles I agree, I worked in french schools for a bit and a no point did I think - hmmm I think everyone would be learning better if they had a uniform on. But I imagine uniform is too entrenched here to take it away.

The ‘practice for a suit’ line is silly though. If it took practice, which I don’t think it does, why is no one wearing them at university? It’s also becoming quite unusual to dress in a suit for work. The only people amongst my friends who do it are male teachers!

Yes, professional dress has moved on. When I started work in 1980 there was an unwritten rule that women did not wear trousers to work. In fact I didn't until 2003!

I thought it was absurd that ds had to wear a suit for 6th form (but he did look lovely). DH still wears a suit and tie and has to.

It was really silly when my dc were 4 and every child had to wear a collar and tie. Not a problem until the reception teachers complained they couldn't do their buttons.

I'm a teacher and when I ring home I say my full name when I introduce myself. I'd feel strange if the parents called me Miss... when the children weren't there!

An advantage of uniform is that everybody wears the same. Especially important in secondary where children become fashion conscious with designer labels etc. It puts everyone on an equal playing field in that regard - Child X can't be targeted because he isn't wearing expensive trainers etc.

@ChimaeraEgg

I am guessing you have never worked in a customer-facing job

Not since I worked in retail many years ago. However, I obviously interact with customer service professionals as a customer, and never once have I been addressed as Mrs Smith. If they call they don't say "hello, am I speaking to Mrs Smith?". They say "hello, am I speaking to Jane Smith?"

A lot if that is to avoid causing offence over the whole Morning as/Mrs/Ms. I like the idea of being polite at school and to me it's polite to use Mr/Mrs etc etc

Not all schools use titles. At a Quaker school you will most likely find that they use first names to address teachers and other adults. They believe that it helps to foster a culture of respect and that they are working together as equals.

I’m a teacher and when speaking to a parent on the phone I say ‘is that X’s mum/dad’ just easier than getting miss or Mrs or ms wrong. I also use my first and last name in the introduction. Kids call me ‘miss’ even though I’m Mrs whatelsecouldibecalled