Why are teachers still referred to as Mr/Mrs/Miss X?

[ChimaeraEgg]

Idle musing of the day but why do children still have to address teachers using their surnames? I assume that originally this was a respect thing and due to the fact that it was normal to address people at work or other adults as Mr/Mrs X? But I'm 32 and never in my adult life have I addressed another adult using their surname. School is the only place I have done it.

A person is not more worthy of respect because they are above a certain age

I can remember a piece in the paper a couple of years ago where a child in a secondary school would not stand for the headteacher when he/she entered the room because the teacher had not “ earned” the respect of the child. Cue picture of child and lame ass parent. If you don’t believe a headteacher has earned a level of respect then don’t enroll your kids in school.

I’m a nurse, however I look after children. So often 12 kids and various parents per shift. Often parents and kids have different surnames so assuming they are the same isn’t always on and remembering 12 kids names and their mother or fathers names per shift - could be more than that depending on patient movement and if the ward is busy so parents often do get ‘mum’ or ‘dad’ often they’ll offer their name usually if with us a wee while but the majority of kids are in for 24 hours only. I am also terrible with names.
I am staff nurse crappy (hope I’m not actually crap or my first name I don’t mind what I’m called)

At my kids school teachers are mr/Mrs/miss whatever
I still call them that. They keep calling me Mrs (my kids surname) which isn’t mine and they know it’s not as my older son who was there and I have the same name but I just sign off Mrs crappy (why did I choose that name urgh) I don’t actually know my sons teachers first name come to think of it
The admin lady knows me very well so we are on first name terms, however I refer to her as Mrs admin lady to my kids

Until you ask how someone would like to be addressed I wouldn’t assume they prefer first name or Mrs/mr/dr

@Nohomemadecandles

You may use my first name... really? Upon invitation?

Who on earth do you people think you are?

"The Bouquet Residence, Lady of the house speaking..."

Ha ha ha, I always say that to unsolicited people on the phone.

Can I use your firstname?
No, you may not.

I called the surgeon who did my surgery Miss X and the consultant who did the treatment prior Mr Y.

I call my child’s teacher Miss Z, but she calls me by my first name.

I rarely get called Miss A; the staff at my daughter’s school call me by my forename, I’ve had a lot a lot of contact and calls from the NHS recently and they’ve all addressed me by my forename. Which is fine by me as if people do attempt my surname they get it wrong as they usually try to add extra letters in instead of saying it how it’s spelled!

@Nohomemadecandles

You may use my first name... really? Upon invitation?

Who on earth do you people think you are?

"The Bouquet Residence, Lady of the house speaking..."

It actually gives rise to a pleasant overture of friendship. Saying, 'oh, do call me Jane' or having this said to you is a nice way of saying you want to move your relationship into friendship.

I'm always called Mrs X by people I don't know that i am meeting in a professional capacity. All the teachers do, GP etc. It is only if I introduce myself by my first name that they don't (like my estate agent and accountant).
When young I always addressed people older than me by their proper title, my friends parents etc. It is a sign of respect, though I notice my kids friends call me by my first name. That I am OK with, but nit a teacher.

@Crappyfridays7 would it really be too much to refer to a parent as MIllie's mum rather than just "mum". My children may call me "mum", nurses may not, because I am not their mother.

In healthcare settings I've been asked what I wish to be called including when I registered at the drs here, I said my first name but others were being called Mrs ... as that's what they prefer. It's about respect. My exh is always called dr ... in professional settings

@PaperMonster - I would not expect one of my childrens' teachers to use my first name if they did not invite me to use theirs.

The staff at my GP surgery, including the doctors, always use 'title/surname'. So do my opticians and dentist. It's only in hospitals (of healthcare settings) I've heard this not happen.

'oh, do call me Jane' or having this said to you is a nice way of saying you want to move your relationship into friendship.

I say, jolly good show.

@Lairyfightzzzz

'oh, do call me Jane' or having this said to you is a nice way of saying you want to move your relationship into friendship.

I say, jolly good show.

I'm about as working class as they come, Lairyfightzzz.

Perhaps the Drs at my surgery are particularly pass ag the because the younger ones in particular introduce themselves as Dr x or y, and assume they may use my first name. Particularly irksome when I am 60 and they are in their 30s.

I would hate it is the familiarity of calling a teacher by their first name became common.

Teachers and pupils are not equals like adults in the workplace.

I work in a school where it’s all first names. Even the head.

My DD's school used first name terms for teachers if the teacher was happy with it. 75% of the teachers were known as Jane, Dave, Rob, Kate etc and the others were Mr/Mrs/Ms etc.
It was a private quirky school. There also wasn't a uniform so it was quite unusual compared to most schools.
First names for teachers wasn't a problem at all.

@RosesAndHellebores I that would be much better, def something to think about I suppose because no one really objects to your face it’s something you don’t think about until you read something like this and it makes you think. Also never go under the assumption that whoever is with the child is their parent, often it could be aunt/uncle stepparent or grandparents so never assume anything,

I was in hospital with my son last year for a week and I’ve no idea what they called me, I did know some of the nurses (not my ward) but the rest I think referred to me when speaking to my son - mummy can help you etc it’s something I will definitely think about more though.

@Crappyfridays7 - just a thought. If it's genuinely difficult to remember parents' names, why don't you give them a sticker to wear on which they write their name.

At 32 I'm surprised you need to ask that.

It's more formal and sets boundaries for a more professional environment. I think it would be even worse for teacher trying to hold some authority if children were allowed to address them as "Linda" or "Brian" etc.

I've worked in secondary schools which are first names. I adjusted to it quite quickly, but the only point of confusion was struggling to identify if "Alex" was staff or a pupil, which dies matter if the pupil is appologising for being late because Alex was talking to them.

@RosesAndHellebores I think you should get over yourself.

Nurses call them Dr x probably because that's just what they've called them. They refer to you as mum because it is your child who is the patient, and they have 20 odd parents names to learn and remember daily when they are their to care for their patients, your child. Of all the information they need to keep in their brain on a shift its low on the priority list, and most of the time they are talking to include your child, you are mum to your child so therefore you are mum.

Its basically a guess every time if someone wants you to refer to yourself as Dr Smith or Jane, as demonstrated on this thread. I now just introduce myself as the full ticket and allow patients to choose, but I call senior staff 'Mr x' or Ms x or Dr x. Its just convention tbh.

I will initially call patients by their first and second name purely to avoid error. Theres more likely to be multiple Mrs Jones or Sarah's, so if I say Sarah Jones it is confirming it is the correct patient. Its really that simple. Its not a massive slight to you.

If I have to write a letter or email to one of my kids teachers, I used their title and second name. I would be uncomfortable using their first name.

I’m with you OP. I’m a lawyer and am usually on first name terms with colleagues, opponents and clients. I find it strange that my OH (who is a teacher) works in such a formal atmosphere.

“It actually gives rise to a pleasant overture of friendship. Saying, 'oh, do call me Jane' or having this said to you is a nice way of saying you want to move your relationship into friendship”

IMO this is exactly why students shouldn’t address teachers by their first names. Teachers are not their friends, no matter how friendly they may be. There has to be a clear line. Using Mr/Mrs rather than first names does this.

Other reasons why drs might go for Dr x

Sometimes in the days of social media its not a good idea to tell certain patients your first name, my social media is first name and middle name. I've had colleagues have some quite unpleasant messages from patients etc.

If the patient wants to contact your secretary or something, or wants to contact the hospital about you in anyway they are more likely to be able to find Dr Smith than Bob. Most of the time my name will be on a letter to them, but if I met them in ED or something they might not.

I think sometimes you have to keep boundaries in place, in a school setting its really easy for children to get attached to their teachers and sometimes overly attached. Going by surname just keeps a bit of distance.