Why are teachers still referred to as Mr/Mrs/Miss X?

[ChimaeraEgg]

Idle musing of the day but why do children still have to address teachers using their surnames? I assume that originally this was a respect thing and due to the fact that it was normal to address people at work or other adults as Mr/Mrs X? But I'm 32 and never in my adult life have I addressed another adult using their surname. School is the only place I have done it.

@saraclara absolutely and thank you.

I have a whole CAMHS report that refers to Dr J Jones, GP, Dr P Fall Psychiatrist, Jane White, CAMHS social worker, Mandy Pratt, Primary Mental Health Worker - and "mum". I wrote a letter of complaint about it. It is so reductive.

The only professionals who will still insist that they are addressed in this way are teachers.

Also this is something I have never experienced. I have never been referred to, or heard any other teacher referred to as Mr/Mrs/Miss in a meeting, let alone one insist on being referred to as such. I can imagine that someone running the meeting might initially refer to them so, out of subconscious reflex or it being the only informal they had, but any teacher I've ever known would instantly tell them their first name.

I find the use of ‘X’s mum’ far more of an issue to be honest. It wouldn’t occur to me to address a parent like that.
Seriously though - why another thinly veiled (or not), teacher bashing thread? I would find it really inappropriate to be addressed by my first name in my lessons/classroom.

I MUCH prefer being called Mrs/Ms surname by anyone in a professional context

If we're not known to each other personally I always want to be Mrs FairyCake

I don't think I address my GP as anything, our interactions don't work that way
If someone asked which GP you saw would you say Jack or Dr Smith? Everyone I know would say Dr Smith

I often get called "mum" by my son's teachers/doctors etc. I don't like it much but I can't say it grates on me, they have a lot on their plate.

OK so I do get the professional boundaries thing. That to me is more understandable than the perceived "respect".

I can understand some people might prefer to be called Mr or Mrs X (though personally I find that
old fashioned and pretty unusual - and I don't believe the reason for that is because I and all others I know were badly brought up). What I don't get is feeling offended (or "horrified" ) if someone addresses you by their first name. I don't particularly like being called Mrs Egg because it isn't my name, my name is Chimaera. However I wouldn't assume someone who called me Mrs Egg was rude or disrespectful or badly brought up. If I did I'd think that said a lot more about me than them!

If someone asked which GP you saw would you say Jack or Dr Smith? Everyone I know would say Dr Smith

I live in London. I don't think I have ever seen the same GP more than once in my entire life!

At my DS's ( state grammar) school all teachers are addresses by the pupils as either Sir or Ma'am. I was really surprised when I discovered that.

A neighbour of mine now teaches at the school and she said it took some getting used to but she now really likes it as it makes her feel respected.

When I started work in a bank in the late 80's all Managers and assistant managers had to be addressed as Mr Surname. There were no senior female staff in my branch back then and by the time there were the custom seem to die out overnight and everyone was then addressed by their first name only.

DH and I both work in primary schools where children address staff by first name. I love it personally. Only exception is the Headteacher at DH's school who the children always refer to as First Name + Surname!

Seriously though - why another thinly veiled (or not), teacher bashing thread?

It has nothing to do with teacher bashing, I just couldn't think of another situation where adults are referred to as Mr or Mrs X. My understanding was that this was because it was a precursor to adult life, but again I did not believe it was usual for adults to address other adults by the surname.

Apparently I am wrong and was a very rude and badly brought up child, as apparently my son also must be!

I live in London. I don't think I have ever seen the same GP more than once in my entire life!
If they asked who you saw last time you went?

They never ask that, largely because I book my appointments online. And online the doctors are listed as "Dr Joe Bloggs", not "Dr Bloggs".

My dentist is definitely referred to by her first name.

What would you say if they asked that?

@saraclara

The only professionals who will still insist that they are addressed in this way are teachers.

Also this is something I have never experienced. I have never been referred to, or heard any other teacher referred to as Mr/Mrs/Miss in a meeting, let alone one insist on being referred to as such. I can imagine that someone running the meeting might initially refer to them so, out of subconscious reflex or it being the only informal they had, but any teacher I've ever known would instantly tell them their first name.

I've been in meetings where school staff are usually addressed as Mrs X when parents and/ or children are there. In my experience it's more out of habit and to avoid confusion when you've gotten used to calling someone by a certain name.

When emailing parents I generally sign off First Name Last Name, and it varies whether parents reply with my first name or Mrs G.

I imagine I'd say I see Joe Bloggs, because that is how they are listed. If they were listed as Dr Bloggs I'd say Dr Bloggs. .

Same situation with the professors at my last job. If they'd signed their emails to me "kind regards, professor smith" I'd have replied addressing addressing as such. They didn't.

I'm not sure it's right to say it's unusual op- quite a few of the posters on this thread have said they prefer the formality.

And it is also a cultural thing. While I address my friends parents in general by their first name (once invited of course) I don't do that with the older relatives from friends from elsewhere. I call them 'Auntie' generally as it would be seen as very disrespectful to call them by their first name by someone 29 years younger than them.

I can totally understand why an extremely busy paediatric nurse who's just arrived on shift and doesn't know people's names, or have the headspace for them all, might refer to 'mum'. I'd be absolutely fine with that
But a social worker who knows their client well enough to be leading a two hour meeting about her (and with notes in front of her with her name on , FFS) should have enough respect for her to use her name.

I forgot to say that this same social worker, when she did use the name a couple of times for clarity, pronounced it entirely wrongly. To the point that it was actually an entirely different name. Ugh.

Good manners.
When I was teaching (many eons ago) I "trained" my pupils to call me Miss X (there were a lot who just called out Miss, Miss etc.)
To parents I was Miss X, just as they were Mrs. or Mr. Y.
On working abroad I was Miss X or now, Mrs. X. There used to be quite strict rules about first names where I live. Generally children and animals were first names (makes sense)/intimate form of "you" everyone else was Mrs. or Mr. (or Dr.) unless the older person offered use of first name.
I really HATE the use of my first name by strangers, particularly sales people. You don't know me and I don't know you, we have a business relationship so let's keep it formal.
Ditto in school.

Eh? I’m not a teacher but am Ms X at work..

Why does it bother you?

I imagine I'd say I see Joe Bloggs, because that is how they are listed. If they were listed as Dr Bloggs I'd say Dr Bloggs
Ok, you wrote just above they are listed as Dr Joe Bloggs on the website

I can totally understand why an extremely busy paediatric nurse who's just arrived on shift and doesn't know people's names, or have the headspace for them all, might refer to 'mum'

But staff on wards that aren't paediatric/maternity wards manage to use a name because 'mum' isn't an option.

@LApprentiSorcier

But I'm 32 and never in my adult life have I addressed another adult using their surname.

I am guessing you have never worked in a customer-facing job? Or if you did, you probably inadvertently annoyed people by using their first name when you didn't know them.

Using a person's title is about respect - not particularly an adult/child respect but respecting the fact your relationship with the person is formal or business-related. It sets the tone for your interaction and avoids boundaries being crossed.

This ^^

Why does it bother you?

It doesn't, it was an idle musing as I said in my OP.

Clearly bothers others though!