Why are teachers still referred to as Mr/Mrs/Miss X?

[ChimaeraEgg]

Idle musing of the day but why do children still have to address teachers using their surnames? I assume that originally this was a respect thing and due to the fact that it was normal to address people at work or other adults as Mr/Mrs X? But I'm 32 and never in my adult life have I addressed another adult using their surname. School is the only place I have done it.

Do you call your GP by their first name?

Actually I do call one of our local GP team by her first name, but only because we went to school together.

My parents (in their 60’s) still refer to neighbours they knew when they were younger as Mrs X.

People probably thought you were rude but didn’t like to say.

ChimaeraEgg

“Why isn't it done in workplaces then?“

It is in some. In some private schools, children are still addressed by their surnames too.

I would have felt extremely uncomfortable being invited to use teachers’ first names. Bit too down ‘wiv da kids 🥴

People probably thought you were rude but didn’t like to say.

In that case every single other children I ever interacted with was also rude too, as well as every other child my son interacts with.

Child, not children.

@mintbiscuit

Some schools do use first names for teachers. DS1’s primary did. I found it a bit weird tbh.

When I went to secondary school we had to call all the female teachers ‘Madam’. Was some weird tradition the school insisted on keeping even though it was the 1990’s!

A school in the midlands a friend worked at insisted on that. It had been failing and the new female head brought in to turn it around wanted female staff to be accorded the same respect as the male staff who were called Sir. She reckoned it was about changing the culture of misogeny prevalent in part of the school community.

It had been failing and the new female head brought in to turn it around wanted female staff to be accorded the same respect as the male staff who were called Sir

Yeah, I always hated the Sir and Miss thing.

@ChimaeraEgg

Apart from very close family & friends it’s common for children to address all adults as Mr/Mrs

Is it?!

I never did that as a child. It would be completely bizarre to do that IMO.

Yes, it is. Or else as XXXX’s mum or dad rather than their first name.

You’re coming across as if you weren’t brought up with fundamental manners.

It's quite a recent thing to address people by their first names in a professional setting.
In one job I had years ago the staff had to address each other Mr, Mrs or Miss surname in front of customers. When I was pregnant and afterwards on the postnatal ward all the mothers were addressed as Mrs surname, married or not!
I don't mind what people call me but I don't think it's appropriate to address teachers by their first names, as pp said, it creates a respectful boundary.

I have to admit my one rebellion is ballet

I REFUSED to call ballet teachers Miss Jane and I didn’t care what they thought.

They would either be Miss/Mrs Smith or Jane depending on level of familiarity.

We all have our quirks!

When I was a child we called our parents friends Auntie or Uncle X because it wouldn't be polite to call an adult just by their first name, but it was more friendly than Mr or Mrs. Most of dds friends just call me by my first name but some would call me Mrs Mistle at first.

SnowFields

ChimaeraEgg
Apart from very close family & friends it’s common for children to address all adults as Mr/Mrs

Is it?! confused

I never did that as a child. It would be completely bizarre to do that IMO.“

Several of my children’s’ friends did for the first half dozen visits. I never asked them to.

As others have said, it maintains a certain professional distance. It's a way of introducing children to this kind of environment, as for many of them, it would be the first time. My DH does online tutoring, and although he tells them his first name, he says that many of the teenagers doggedly call him "sir", sometimes every sentence.

It's no longer used in most adult environments: I suppose one reason is that adults know there are professional boundaries, unlike children who have yet to learn this. I had an interesting discussion on my first day at university, when I asked what the protocol was between students and staff. I was told that most staff were happy to be on first-name terms, although if in doubt, use their title and surname. I was also told: "Don't call anyone 'sir' - it's embarrassing". (I wonder if that's different at Oxford or Cambridge, at least on TV?).

What I find really incongruous is reading old stories such as A Christmas Carol, when spouses such as Mr and Mrs Cratchit address each other as such.

When I was staying in hospital on a ward where there were a lot of elderly patients, it made me cringe to hear staff addressing very elderly women by their first names. It seemed demeaning.

If any child I wasn't familiar with addressed me as Mrs whatever I'd think it was beyond odd

Definitely not normal in any circle I've ever moved in professional or otherwise

it made me cringe to hear staff addressing very elderly women by their first names. It seemed demeaning.

How on earth can it be demeaning to be referred to by your first name and why does their age have anything to do with it

Fgs stop treating the elderly as "different". My gran is 85 and this is one of her bugbears

When I was a child, adults outside the family were Mr/Mrs unless told otherwise.

@DenisetheMenace

SnowFields

ChimaeraEgg
Apart from very close family & friends it’s common for children to address all adults as Mr/Mrs

Is it?! confused

I never did that as a child. It would be completely bizarre to do that IMO.“

Several of my children’s’ friends did for the first half dozen visits. I never asked them to.

Probably because they were brought up to be polite and respectful.

Snowfields

“Probably because they were brought up to be polite and respectful.“

I think it was encouraged at school, too.

How would a child even know someone's surname? How would you expect a child to address a stranger if you expect all children to address all adults as Mr or Mrs? Sir or Madam?

How can it not be polite to call someone by their actual name?

Madam has such an unfortunate double meaning though. Tiny DD once heard someone address me as such and announced indignantly ‘You not a madam, you a mummy!’

As she was 3 and had only recently got her head round the whole talking thing I wasn’t going to try and explain the small but important difference made by that indefinite article

IMO it's power thing with teachers. I've worked in Education, Health and Social Care. The only professionals who will still insist that they are addressed in this way are teachers. Social workers don't do it, neither do doctors and nurses. I have also heard teachers address parents as 'Mum'.....
So why do teachers do it?
I work within professional boundaries daily. I have no need for anyone to address me as anything but my first name. is it insecurity I wonder?

Teachers are Sir and Miss at DDs school, it's not a rule, it's just how the kids refer to them. Occasional ones are first name terms with the older kids.
When I was a child addressing an adult who wasn't family by their first name was seen as rude. I still cringe when I hear kids doing now (but tbf most of them are polite and don't use first names, unless asked to).

@Lairyfightzzzz

it made me cringe to hear staff addressing very elderly women by their first names. It seemed demeaning.

How on earth can it be demeaning to be referred to by your first name and why does their age have anything to do with it

Fgs stop treating the elderly as "different". My gran is 85 and this is one of her bugbears

Well, my parents are in their late 70s and being addressed by their first names by strangers is one of their bugbears. I'm in my 40s and it's one of my bugbears. It just sounds particularly crass when the person doing it is less than half the age of the person they're doing it to.

In some ways, it's easier for us in England - we don't have the distinction of formal/informal words for "you": "tu/vous" for the French, and "du/Sie" for the Germans. That can be a bit of a minefield. Which words should children use for addressing their parents' friends? Even my dad was uneasy about this when visiting our au pair's parents.

As a child, I always called my parents' friends by their first names: I didn't come across the "uncle" and "auntie" thing until I was an adult, and children unrelated to me started using it.