How to help my partner with his dirty nappy aversion?

[Cleaneatingisawesome]

My partner is a wonderful father to our 6 month old son.

The only thing he's got a big, big problem with is changing dirty nappies. He's okay with urine, but if our son does a poo my partner always starts to gag, like he's about to throw up. The smell and look just makes him feel very sick.

He always calls me for help then, even if I have a lie in.

I'm just worried how he will cope on a day when I'm out of the house and he needs to look after our son himself.

Does anyone have tips how he can overcome this?

He's had an aversion against dirty nappies his whole life and we hoped it would change with his own child, but it didn't.

I always used to put an opened up wipe over the poo immediately it to keep the sight and smell at bay and then get on with cleaning. Coping strategies are important.

I’ve only ever come across men with this issue. Poor thing, must be really hard for him. Tell him to place a bowl beside him so he’s got somewhere to vomit and get yourself eat plugs so you don’t have be too hear the drama.

DH and I have 99% decided not to have children but I can imagine he would be like around dirty nappies, which puts me off even further. He struggles to pick up after the dog and retches when he empties the bin so I can only imagine the hilarity fun as he wiped a baby’s arse.

Thankfully I like him very much and am happy to keep it ‘just us’. I would lose patience with him whinging about poo very quickly.

Claim to also have developed an aversion to it.

This!!

I have an aversion to vomit - I will be sick myself if someone else is sick.

But I’m a single parent so I have to get on with it and do it regardless of how it makes me feel - it’s amazing what we can do when we don’t have a choice. Don’t give your DP that choice the more you’re exposed to it the easier it gets.

He's not a "wonderful" father if he's denying your child basic care ie a clean bum.

How can you respect a man like that?

Tell him to man up

He struggles to pick up after the dog and retches when he empties the bin so I can only imagine the hilarity fun as he wiped a baby’s arse.

Just so you know I used to be like this and put me off having DCs but I promise after a week or 2 of doing dirty nappies it will become second nature and you won’t think anything of it!

You don't need to 'rush to his aid' and he won't 'pass out'. It all sounds very ott, he just needs to get on with it.

@Sueellenmilkshake and @cornettoninja just ... Actually read the part of my reply you chose to quote. Actually read it.

I early stated that she could trade off for the nappies she is available to do. Not make herself available to do them all.

Honestly. A lot of you come across as though you linger in the wings waiting for a post about a man to just get angry about. Tell me is this anger actually helping?

Does abyone generally respond to anger being flung at them??

@QueenPawPaws

Vicks under his nose and he will get used to it I struggled when first working as a carer, took a few months and was fine after that

Yep. I was carer for my disabled husband (aged 65) for a couple of years. He had double incontinences, wore nappies. 'Nuff said. A few months in, I could do it all eyes closed.

Baby poo is nothing like dog's poo though.

Dog poo smells vile because their diet is meat based. Most people gag a bit if in close proximity to dog poo. Being repulsed by it is a natural human reaction because it's hazardous and can cause lethal illness or infection.

Baby poo is mainly milk and not hazardous.

This thread is horrible , there is a difference between not liking the smell of a dirty nappy and a medical issue akin to emetophobia.

@JanuaryChill

How does he cope with his own poo?

I expect he thinks that his smells of roses 😶

Give him a clothes peg for his nose. Nappy duty for a few weeks will sort it.

You won’t get any sense here @loopyapp. No opportunity to denigrate men is ever missed.

Sounds like he needs to move out then.

This isn't a dad. Bent over 'screaming' at a nappy? He has no right to alarm your son like that. He needs to go, and come back when he can parent without conditions.

Ok, does he find this post 'funny'?

Because it isn't :)

Honestly. A lot of you come across as though you linger in the wings waiting for a post about a man to just get angry about. Tell me is this anger actually helping?

I'm not angry. But then again I'm married to a fully functioning adult who doesn't avoid the responsibilities of parenthood.

If the OPs husband has a real medical condition then this should have been discussed and addressed before having children and he should be willing to get professional help.

Otherwise he's being very pathetic. Allowing him to opt out of this aspect of being a parent is just pandering to him.

I have a very, very strong aversion to a lots of pretty standard food stuff. It makes me gag. However, that doesn't mean I leave all cooking to DH as that would be grossly unfair.

Some people have a really sensitive nose and do struggle. My BIL really struggled but persevered. He threw up several times over the years because it was so hard for him but he knew it comes with being a dad so he kept going. Both, Stuffed tissues up the nose and Vicks under the nostrils gave some relief.

Leave him alone with your DC and ask him to change the baby on the floor so if he does need to throw up, baby is safe. He needs to keep going though. It's not a long term solution for you to be the saviour.

Use the tips given re vicks or whatever.

It's just something that has to be done, for the baby's sake.

@VinylDetective

You won’t get any sense here *@loopyapp*. No opportunity to denigrate men is ever missed.

Oh give over.

He’s being pathetic, and she is playing into it.

I don’t love the smell/look of baby poo, nor having to handle shitty nappies. I don’t love the smell/look of vomit, nor having to deal with cleaning it up. I overcame my natural reactions of aversion when I became a parent, because I wanted to be a good parent. I stepped up.

You really think I just magically love all the shitwork of parenting just because I have a vagina?? Don’t be ridiculous. If a woman can do it, a man can, and should.

I think the problem is he is horrified that he a MAN, the ' important' one, is expected to deal with actual shit😶🙄

@NotCornflakes

Put him on full-time nappy duty, no exceptions, no calling for help. He'll soon get used to it.

Exactly this ☝️ He's always going to be 'delicate' about it if you're there to do it for him. He needs to just get on with it, nobody likes changing dirty nappies. Give him a sick bowl and tell him to get on with it 🙄

@Yohoheaveho

I think the problem is he is horrified that he a MAN, the ' important' one, is expected to deal with actual shit😶🙄

I think that hits the nail on the head. He sees it as lowly womens work and he's much too important to do the rubbish jobs.

He also sometimes looks after him for hours in the evening after work so that I can have a break

It never ceases to amaze me how little men have to do to be called 'amazing' . Something as baseline as 'sometimes' being a father to his own child for a few hours is not something to be in breathless wonder over OP, as it you have managed to bag a truly exceptional man. Its the bare minimum that you should expect.

I gag and boak at vomit, hasnt stopped me helping my DC when there ill and cleaning it up. When your DP becomes a 'parent' and lets you have a break at night how does he deal with the poop then? Stop enabling this ass...beacuse now your little one is eating poops are no longer watery. He will be dealing with sticky clay poo.