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Original poster

How to help my partner with his dirty nappy aversion?

407 replies

Cleaneatingisawesome · 24/01/2021 09:49

My partner is a wonderful father to our 6 month old son.

The only thing he's got a big, big problem with is changing dirty nappies. He's okay with urine, but if our son does a poo my partner always starts to gag, like he's about to throw up. The smell and look just makes him feel very sick.

He always calls me for help then, even if I have a lie in.

I'm just worried how he will cope on a day when I'm out of the house and he needs to look after our son himself.

Does anyone have tips how he can overcome this?

He's had an aversion against dirty nappies his whole life and we hoped it would change with his own child, but it didn't.

OP posts:
tara66 · 24/01/2021 12:40

A mask sprayed with lavender?

Potentialscrooge · 24/01/2021 12:41

Is this a joke 😂😂😂 tell him to get a fucking grip. The more you pamber to this ridiculous behaviour the more “gagging” will occur.

bloodyhairy · 24/01/2021 12:43

You should go away for the weekend, and that will help him get over it!

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SinkGirl · 24/01/2021 12:48

I have always had a strong aversion to vomit (my own as well as anyone else’s). Emetophobes may want to skip this one...

When my twins were 2 we all got norovirus - the first I knew of this was when one of them was sitting on my knee facing me, did a giant burp and then projectile vomited in my face. Now if they are ever sick, I use myself as a human shield to protect the floor. Exposure therapy: success!

TheNorthWind · 24/01/2021 12:50

@Cleaneatingisawesome

I promise this thread is not fake and a piss take.

This is really happening in my household.

English isn't my first language and maybe I chose the wrong word with "screams". Maybe it's better to describe them as "shouts"?

Just these kind of sounds where you would think something horrible had happened.

Right. And do you think he'd still have made that ridiculous fuss if you hadn't been in the house to hear it.

I don't.

It was all for your benefit. And it worked. You rushed downstairs and took over.

Cornettoninja · 24/01/2021 12:51

No, if you read that properly it was all of you clutching your pearls he laughed at. Don’t blame him

Uhuh.

So the grown man who can’t deal with a baby’s nappy thinks a load of women are being over dramatic about his pathetic antics which negatively impact his partner and child? Blimey, you’ve got low standards.

5zeds · 24/01/2021 12:52

It won’t kill him to put the baby down, throw up and carry on. How does the think pregnant women with morning sickness get through the day? You are BOTH being ridiculous.

Sarahandduck18 · 24/01/2021 12:52

He needs whole days alone with the baby with you out of the house.

corythatwas · 24/01/2021 12:56

No, if you read that properly it was all of you clutching your pearls he laughed at. Don’t blame him.

And you'd say exactly the same about a mother who couldn't be left alone for half a day with her own child? What silly pearl-clutchers to suggest there's something wrong with that scenario!

QueenPawPaws · 24/01/2021 12:58

Vicks under his nose and he will get used to it
I struggled when first working as a carer, took a few months and was fine after that

loopyapp · 24/01/2021 13:00

Yikes the cranky are out in force today .. I mean how dare this guy have a visceral aversion to literal shit .. Doesn't he know that having a baby meant he wasn't allowed to anymore??

What a selfish useless man. You should leave him immediately. How is that not obvious.

Or perhaps you could acknowledge this is a particular area of weakness and he is genuinely struggling. You could offer to trade off something you don't particularly enjoy doing with all the dirty nappies you're available to do.

Or you could have an adult conversation with him about what exactly gets him gippy each time and have him look up some coping mechanism.

I cloth nappy and I find it much less disgusting now hes weaning, also use washable wipes that I leave soaking in lavender water before use which helps enormously with the smell.

Now hes weaning the poo is easy to just drop into the toilet, flush and done. If the nappies are cleaned properly they always smell lush when cleaned and the smell of their poo doesn't fill the room hah!! Also I can largely smell the washing detergent on the nappy more than the poo.

Hope that helps.

Strokethefurrywall · 24/01/2021 13:01

Tell him to wipe downwards with the nappy to remove the worst of it from the baby's bum. That's the worst of it gone and contained inside the pamper.

Then the rest of it with wipes. Not hard, we all had to learn.

ChaToilLeam · 24/01/2021 13:02

He just needs to get on with it like women have always had to do. What would happen if both parents felt that way, would the child just lie in shit? Of course not, you wouldn’t let that happen. You don’t need a big baby in the house as well as a little one.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 24/01/2021 13:05

A bit of Vic around the nostril area, or on the inside of a mask.

That's what we used to do when the reek of the pathology specimens got too overpowering. I was one of the worst sufferers and spent a lot of my time with my head over the sink, but there's no way anyone would have let me off with it.

DuzzyFuck · 24/01/2021 13:08

The poor lamb. I can't imagine anyone loves it?

We don't have DC yet but I've been faced with the issue when looking after friends/family babies and whilst I'd really rather not sort out a poo explosion, obviously the needs and comfort of the child rather outweighs my aversion to their poo, so sleeves rolled up and get on with it!

Clymene · 24/01/2021 13:09

Clutching pearls is a really bizarre way to describe women having no truck with pathetic man child behaviour.

Women should just put up and shut up eh @VinylDetective?

VinylDetective · 24/01/2021 13:11

@Clymene

Clutching pearls is a really bizarre way to describe women having no truck with pathetic man child behaviour.

Women should just put up and shut up eh @VinylDetective?

Of course they shouldn’t but there’s no need for all the frothing.
AngeloMysterioso · 24/01/2021 13:11

I’m trying to imagine what shade of ominous black the sky would turn if DH woke me from a lie in to change a shitty nappy...

TakemedowntoPotatoCity · 24/01/2021 13:15

'He also sometimes looks after him for hours in the evening after work so that I can have a break.'

You mean, he is a father?

Gold medal for this dude.

Cornettoninja · 24/01/2021 13:17

Or perhaps you could acknowledge this is a particular area of weakness and he is genuinely struggling. You could offer to trade off something you don't particularly enjoy doing with all the dirty nappies you're available to do

...or this adult could have found his own solution in the last six months. It’s not really something that can be ‘traded’ if it means that one party is never off duty. Well unless this baby has particularly precisely timed bowel movements.

@VinylDetective - but popping on a thread to call the majority of posters ‘Pearl clutchers’ like it’s a fantastical notion a father should get over himself and stating that is frothing? I don’t think it’s frothing I think it’s exasperation.

Pringlemonster · 24/01/2021 13:17

Oh dear god
Some men ..

Haffdonga · 24/01/2021 13:20

So he throws up with each nappy change? So fucking what?

(If it's a genuine risk that DP could faint it isn't then he should change baby on the floor so he can't fall.)

SueEllenMishke · 24/01/2021 13:20

You could offer to trade off something you don't particularly enjoy doing with all the dirty nappies you're available to do.

The problem with this is that if the OP has to be available for all dirty nappies then she isn't able to leave the baby with him for more than a couple of hours until he or she is fully toilet trained. That could be years.

That's really not acceptable.

Titterofwit · 24/01/2021 13:22

A friends DH was averse to having to do any care taking of his only DC. He would not do feeding ,nappy changing or bath times/teeth brushing. If he was left in charge of the DC he would put the baby in the car and drive to his FILs - yes FIL !- house to have the baby changed out of a dirty nappy or bathed ready for bed. He would only oversee food once the child could feed themselves but otherwise never did any of the basic stuff.
When they split up (obviously that was the inevitable outcome) he had sole care of the child each weekend as he couldn't rely on FIL any more . He miraculously found out that taking care of the DC was actually pleasurable and helped them bond.
He confessed to my friend that he realised what he had missed out on as he had thought care taking was just drudgery when it was a special close time with a human being they had created. That was a surprise to my friend as he had always maintained that real men didnt do feelings.
She said that if they had had that conversation earlier and he had changed his attitude they would not have divorced.

Lovemusic33 · 24/01/2021 13:25

Make him change every shitty nappy ds produces until he gets used to it. Has he not had to deal with an explosive (up the back) poo yet? 🤣🤣🤣

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