Thoughts on the ‘IPad generation’

[Cash02]

Are you ever in a restaurant or the supermarket and you see children completely engrossed into their screens, their sticky, food encrusted screens? (exaggerating)

What are your thoughts? If you have any?
My little girl is 7 months, I’ve no clue on what parenting a toddler is like and I won’t pretend I do.
However people for thousands of years raised children without IPads, what’s changed?
I don’t plan on giving my daughter an IPad as I’ve been reading about the negative affects, but I was just wondering what the general consensus is?
There’s the infamous story, where young children were given books and they tried to swipe the pages like a smart device.
It seems sad to me, but at the same time, every new technology has its critics.
But Is the impact on social and creative skills really deniable?
(I would like to state I’m not talking about families who have a shared iPad that everyone uses on occasion, I’m talking about children who own their own and are on it seemingly constantly)

@Ladywinesalot
Thank you, I agree, I think a worry I had was that if I found distracting DD with a phone or something worked then it would become a habit, it’s easy isn’t it, when you know something works and they’re just being so difficult.
DP and my stance on phones is she’ll get one when she starts going home by herself from school, that’s when I got one.
But who knows, it seems all her friends will have one when they’re very young, and that’s a bloody long way off it seems she was just born last week.

I’m not trying to be one of those helicopters parents who plan every inch of their child’s life, this is mostly curiosity and to see if other people shared my opinion.

Quick question for all those who allow books, etc at the table in a restaurant but not iPads. What’s the difference? I mean if someone’s reading a book they’re hardly joining in with the conversation. I’d find it rude if an adult I was with has their head in a book. Fair enough if you want your kids to be able to sit and behave and chat about their day, but colouring, sticker books or reading books are just another form of distraction to keep your kids quiet. What’s so different about a colouring app or a jigsaw puzzle or reading on an iPad? (I get that too much screen time can be bad for the eyes but no one has raised that issue).

@Cash02 the when to get a mobile phone is a whole different debate!

I don’t think there’s any need for one until kids are going somewhere by themselves. But I’m sure they will put up a good argument for why they need one much earlier than that!

Showing my age a bit now, but I got my first Walkman aged 5. I would sit very happily for hours listening to music with my headphones in. Genuinely not sure how kids are supposed to listen to music now, I only ever listen through my phone, even if I Bluetooth that through a speaker.

@JabbyMcJabface

I obviously have no experience with that although when I was younger my family would sit in front of the tv to eat dinner, which isn’t a great habit.

Re: the affect on eyes, I get awful headaches if I’m on my phone too long or on my computer too long.
I remember playing the PlayStation all night one time and I got an ice pick headache so bad I thought I’d have to call an ambulance
The same must happen to children, but if they’re really young they can’t really express that, and even then people may not link it to the screens.

Dont kids listen to music on headphones through their phones like adults do? Mine do

Bloody hell, give me an ipad and headphones any day over the blasted crayons!

Due to having no childcare (and now as a single parent), my kids are allowed ipads (with headphones - they need to be well behaved, not annoying other diners) in restaurants if they're there because there's no-where else for them to be. If it was a family dinner, then they wouldn't be.

As a direct result, the language skills of my kids are fantastic - the words and turns of phrase that come out of my children's mouths surprise me all the time (in a good way.. their usage is monitored to keep it appropriate). Home schooling on their ipads has been much easier than if I was also having to teach them to be familiar with a device.

I can't see it the same as passively watching TV all day, because it just isn't - they are actively choosing their interests, and watching/interacting wherever they are - be that doing a headstand on the settee, lying back on the trampoline, or in the kitchen following a recipe.

The fact of the matter is that phones/pads/IT aren't going away, and being completely familiar with them is only going to stand them in good stead when they are older too.

If it’s just OH and I having dinner together we eat in front of the TV every night. Without fail. But I guess at that stage of the pandemic we’re pretty bored of each other and don’t have a lot to say! If we eat with the kids (mainly weekend) we sit at the table and they sit at the table if it’s just them eating.

It’s pretty bad we say they can’t have tv yet we do!

Bloody hell, give me an ipad and headphones any day over the blasted crayons

Haha, I know. I can’t stand the clatter of a crayon/pencil on a tiled floor, and the constant leaning down to pick them up drives me insane.

@Macncheeseballs

Dont kids listen to music on headphones through their phones like adults do? Mine do

I’m sure they do when they’re older. But I wasn’t planning on getting my 5 year old a phone anytime soon.

We sit at the table (just because it's easier all round - they sometimes have lunch in their rooms), but I let them have their ipads quite often at the moment - especially if it's been one of those days where we're all just OVER IT ALL, and want to shove the food in, and retreat to our corners again for a bit. I talk to them though, and if they want to talk back then they'll put their pads down and we'll chat - maybe even play cards. We're just all spending so much time together right now that I think it's fair enough that we don't make each other engage if we don't want to!

Dont kids listen to music on headphones through their phones like adults do? Mine do

Mine do too. They play a lot of music through Alexa too and even my three year old can tell her to play songs (usually Baby Shark). Eldest has recently discovered audio books and spends a lot of time listening to them.

Haha, I know. I can’t stand the clatter of a crayon/pencil on a tiled floor, and the constant leaning down to pick them up drives me insane

Or the ourselves everyone dreads, especially from whichever child is their emotional child: "My crayon BROKE......"

The phrase everyone dreads

@MondayYogurt

Failed! At least DS has to put the iPad down when his time is up 😂

Or the fist fights over who has the red!

I never got the drawing thing in a restaurant. My kids draw constantly at home and have access to all sorts of pens and colours, collage, glue and sticky things. A few crayons and a colouring book is not considered particularly entertaining or much of a treat. It wasn’t even in the 80s so why would it be now.

Mine didn’t have their tablets when we ate out - despite our best efforts - because they were much more interested in getting under the table or running into the kitchens . Nothing was going to be more exciting than that. Again probably because they had access to it at home and it wasn’t a treat or a novelty.

They watch their iPads during meals in the week when we don’t eat together, just as h and I have the tv on while we eat - we actually save programmes for dinner time and it’s a source of discussion - it’s usually ch4 news at the moment, but often some doco we can chat about. Otherwise we’d be eating in silence. We don’t want to talk about work or the kids and the tv gives us something to spark off. At the weekends we all eat together and we listen to music.

What I do to entertain my kids in restaurants(or used to before Covid) is collect all the plastic crappy toys they get from magazines, Happy Meals, party bags and put them away. Then I bought one of those square pencil cases with a zip that we had in the 80s and stuff a few in
To keep in the glove compartment in the car, along with stickers, a few post its, some small crayons or pencils and they are always delighted with the the newness of it all.

Like you, OP, I had the idea when my first dc was a baby that we would not use screens. We didn't. They watched some tv as toddlers. They have never had an iPad or phone in a restaurant or on a car journey. It wasn't difficult or some sort of miracle, and I do not see why some posters are suggesting that you will soon wise up and hand over the iPad. I'm not saying our way was better, but that was a value to us as parents and we stuck with it.

@hollyangel

What I do to entertain my kids in restaurants(or used to before Covid) is collect all the plastic crappy toys they get from magazines, Happy Meals, party bags and put them away. Then I bought one of those square pencil cases with a zip that we had in the 80s and stuff a few in To keep in the glove compartment in the car, along with stickers, a few post its, some small crayons or pencils and they are always delighted with the the newness of it all.

How did you get away with not giving them the tat at the time of the happy meal/party bag/magazine? Mine only wanted those things for the plastic toys so would never have tolerated having it removed and squirrelled away. On flights I buy loads of tat from Poundland and I do them all a ‘fun bag’ with stuff like that in. Again, they don’t want tablets on flights as it’s all too exciting and they’d much rather kick the chair in front of them.

@MrsKoala I let them play with the toys that day, but before they get lost/broken, I hide them away! Yes, Poundland also great for this stuff.
It definitely keeps their attention.

The other thing I've realised though is that my toddler is dreadful in restaurants, completely different from my older child who would happily sit eating bread and looking around in a high chair. So even if Covid wasn't a thing, we don't really bother bringing him to restaurants that much, as it's too stressful and it's not his fault that he isn't that fussed about food and hates being restrained.

Now, he probably would let us eat out if I gave him an iPad, but I figure he'll grow out of this habit soon and by the time we get to eat in a restaurant again, hopefully he'll have grown out of it.