Thoughts on the ‘IPad generation’

[Cash02]

Are you ever in a restaurant or the supermarket and you see children completely engrossed into their screens, their sticky, food encrusted screens? (exaggerating)

What are your thoughts? If you have any?
My little girl is 7 months, I’ve no clue on what parenting a toddler is like and I won’t pretend I do.
However people for thousands of years raised children without IPads, what’s changed?
I don’t plan on giving my daughter an IPad as I’ve been reading about the negative affects, but I was just wondering what the general consensus is?
There’s the infamous story, where young children were given books and they tried to swipe the pages like a smart device.
It seems sad to me, but at the same time, every new technology has its critics.
But Is the impact on social and creative skills really deniable?
(I would like to state I’m not talking about families who have a shared iPad that everyone uses on occasion, I’m talking about children who own their own and are on it seemingly constantly)

@Schoolchoicesucks
My issue is mainly with handheld devices yes, I just use the iPad as an example.
My DD will definitely have technology in her life, it’s mine and her fathers jobs (DP Is an IT technician apprentice)
I think technology can do amazing things, but I think there become a point where it’s too much for a little developing brain.
My issue is never with the technology, more how it’s being used. (School work isn’t an issue to me)

And don’t forget there are many, many parents who are having to cope with wfh and looking after DC at the moment and have no option but to go with more screen time. So to tell them they are damaging their children is pretty insensitive.

5 years ago it was common for 4 year olds to be getting tablets for Christmas and I don't imagine that this has decreased. Some numbers about usage would suggest you're right about how common it is for very young kids to use tablets. Interviews conducted with parents of 3- to 4-year-old children (N = 731 in 2014) in the UK showed that 65% of children have access to a tablet at home, 11% own their own tablet and 41% are playing games on tablets (Ofcom, 2014). A more recent UK survey of 2,000 parents showed that 36% of 3- to 5-year-olds own their tablet with 0- to 5-year-olds using tablets for 79 minutes per day on average (Marsh et al., 2015).

Parents often find screens most useful when they want their children to do things they aren't developmentally able or ready to do yet but want them to. Is it healthy, and what are children missing out on by not developing certain skills (be it social skills, or emotional regulation etc) in favour of instant gratification or distraction and what that does. It's often about balancing the adults wants with child's needs. Short term it can help a parent for a child to be quickly soothed by a screen, but then the child depends on this and has more difficulty regulating or developing healthy strategies. More screen time at age 4 predicted lower levels of emotion understanding at age 6. Skalická, Věra et al. (2019). There's a lot about how physical activity can't compensate for screen use and how it's associated with MH difficulties. That's why in AUS and the US they advise against screen exposure for toddlers and very limited time for under 5s. Another argument is that apps benefit toddlers academically, but then you can question the need for that and the long term differences academically. Then there's the differences or implications on hand development, addictive behaviours and social difficulties.

When you're low on resources and you want your children to be happy it's easy to pass them a screen. You don't see any harm so you keep doing it so it depends on your long term outlook. If your 3 year old uses a screen to get them through XYZ activity then it becomes normal for your 4 year old to use it so you can have a break, then your 6 year old is gaming etc and it just becomes normal and you wouldn't necessarily connect difficulties to screen use unless it was a big battle. If parents struggle without their phones and get bored easily then we can't expect different of our children and most of us put them on that path fairly early on.

@JabbyMcJabface

The point of my thread wasn’t to insult anybody, I wanted to hear both sides and opinions on the matter.

There’s nuance in everything, a child doing a puzzle on a device is much different than a child watching some nonsense on YouTube on repeat for hours, maybe I wasn’t clear enough in my opening post.
I feel these hand held devices can become a crutch for some people.
And although times are tough and parents need to do whatever they can, which I’ll never judge them for or anybody, things can still negativity impact children.
My post wasn’t aimed at people WFH, it’s interesting that that’s a rebuttal to anything nowadays.
Children were glued to IPads before the pandemic and they will be after, it isn’t a new topic and children doing school work on a IPad isn’t an issue to me.
There’s threads years back pondering the same question.

@flowerpotsandrain
Thank you for your very detailed post, you kind of said everything I wanted to

I used to stress quite a lot about screen time but I'm more relaxed now (kids 3 and 5). I think it all comes down to moderation. I don't like to 'ban' anything because they just want it more. Like it's fine to have sweets or McDonald's but not all the time.

My kids are both in school full time, have loads of exercise and one to one time, but they need their down time too and sometimes, if they are grumpy, being little shits or you just need them to chill because you want to chill, tablets come in handy. Restaurant is a perfect example of one of those times!

Doesn't sound great about your SIL, maybe the mum is struggling? Best not to judge. Especially when you don't have the experience yourself.

DS is 5. He has quite a lot of iPad though it is regulated. He's had it in small doses since age 2 (starting just for planes and restaurants) and now gets more.

Things he does with it;

Learning to read
Watching tv eg paw patrol
Playing mostly educational games eg about archeology
Watching informational shows eg dr binocs
Watching things like Ryan's world where he gets ideas for experiments and imaginative play that we then do together
Coloring
Freehand drawing
Watching random crap on YouTube but think we have that locked down with the content control by now

I haven't seen any real evidence that screen time is bad at all to be honest never mind anything that's properly looked at different kinds of content. (Please hit me with links to research papers if you want to!)

There's mostly just a lot of prejudice out there.

@imamearcat
I have said I don’t judge anyone who gives their children IPads, or any parent for any reason, least of all my MIL.
We don’t know how these children are going to turn out is my point really.
My MIL it’s an amazing mother, I don’t know how she has such good control of that many kids!
She gets a lot of help from my partners stepdad, my partner and his older brother, but I’m sure it’s still very hard.
my SIL has just seemed to have taken to the iPad, she loves it, I wouldn’t want to take it away from her.
Her sister is two years older and has absolutely no interest in even the TV.
I think when you talk about parenting in general people tend to take offence, it’s very personal after all, but I still think it’s important to have discussions.

@Aria999
‘Prejudice’...a bit victimising don’t you think?
I think a main concern with a lot of these devices is social development, activities that are often done on a iPad are one person activities, and in small doses it’s fine and can teach independence, but in large doses and in social settings, it takes away the chance to learn social cues and interact with both you and other people.

@Cash02

Victimising...? Sorry I genuinely don't understand what you mean.

@Aria999
I mean prejudice is a bloody strong word for people having an opinion on children having ipads .

[quote Cash02]@JabbyMcJabface I think it just models bad social etiquette, while eating in a public place it’s important to be engaged with the table, children learn a lot about social expectations while young and it’s all practice for them.[/quote]
See, you can say all of that because you've yet to meet your DC.

My DC are amazing. They can behave most times. But they are young. I enjoy eating together, but I spend a good chunk of time managing them. I rarely enjoy my food around them. Add sleep deprivation to everything (my DC have never really slept well). At restaurants, I often end up eating cold food with an ipad occupied DS1, instead of eating cold food with a bored/looking for trouble DS1. If DS was the kind to kick off at restaurants, I'd have no problem introducing the iPad earlier on in the meal, or else I'd just not bother eating out.

@Cash02

Is it? It wasn't supposed to be. I just meant that in my experience a lot of people have an opinion on this that isn't supported by evidence. Isn't that what prejudice means?

Anyway if that's not you then no need to be offended.

noun: prejudice; plural noun: prejudices
1 1. 
preconceived opinion that is not based on reason or actual experience.

@JayDot500
I understand what you’re saying.
I have no idea what my DD will be like!
I just think that it doesn’t teach them anything.
My DD is an awful sleeper, I’ve been eating cold food since she was born so I understand how annoying it gets.
I hope you get to eat a hot meal soon! I’d do anything for a warm bowl of pasta.

If I'm honest I do feel a bit sad when I see toddlers in supermarkets or restaurants stuk in front of an iPad. I have a 6 and 8 year old and we didn't generally do that, but I get there are times when you need to. Both kids have iPads now and while I don't love it, we do try to put restrictions around it though not always successfully. I am fairly certain when my first was a baby that I was adamant they wouldn't have their own iPad but things change and you begin to see some benefits. I'm adamant right now that my eldest will not have a phone at 11 like everyone else but I know that may not be realistic!. I am more concerned about phone use though in teenagers than kids using an iPad, which parents can control more. Once you give them a smart phone it seems like there really is no going back, and they can access anything unless you are really vigilant.

@Aria999
We all know what prejudice means, it’s just not usually used in the context of children and IPads.
You’ll find there’s not a lot of judgement in the real world, as you can see by this thread, my opinion clearly puts me in the minority!
Most people seem to have iPads for their children and I doubt you’ve ever been judged for it.

I think that people who haven't yet tried to parent a toddler probably aren't qualified to comment!

I was very certain of my parenting decisions before I had to actually look after a dc!

@Ninetyseventhirtyfive
I can vouch for teenagers and phones, if I didn’t have one I probably wouldn’t of been pregnant at 17
The ‘come back in a year’ comments are making me chuckle though.

I would never let an under 4 use a tablet, I wouldn’t let an under 11 own their own device (although I would aim to have enough devices for all family members in case they were needed simultaneously) and I would ration all screen time for over 4s, including tablets, (although I think mastering basic keyboard, mouse and swiping skills before school is helpful.) These are basically the rules I’ve used for my youngest.

I’m speaking as someone who raised my older DC in the time of desktops and expensive laptops, though. I imagine that has informed my parenting attitudes.

I don’t give my DD the iPad as the odd time she’s gotten her hands on ours it was like she turned into a heroin addict. Never in my life did I see such meltdowns as when it was taken away. How about bring a coloring book to the restaurant? Or let your child be a bit bored in the store? It’s detrimental to their development and I’m surprised how many people condone it. I’m not perfect, my kids watch too much tv, but iPads are interactive and so addictive to children it’s dangerous

[quote Cash02]@JayDot500
I understand what you’re saying.
I have no idea what my DD will be like!
I just think that it doesn’t teach them anything.
My DD is an awful sleeper, I’ve been eating cold food since she was born so I understand how annoying it gets.
I hope you get to eat a hot meal soon! I’d do anything for a warm bowl of pasta.[/quote]
Sorry, I had absolutely missed the part where you said you had a DD! I obviously should sleep but this screentime is literally the only downtime I get 😹

I didn't understand it before I had kids. Our DD was a PFB, no screens, no sugar, etc etc. but at the time I was a SAHM. Raising her was my whole focus.
Then we moved countries, had another baby, I went back to work and we have no support outside of the two of is. I don't know how we would have got through our mammoth Ikea trip the day after we arrived in the country with out the iPad. I also dont know how we would have got through lockdown with a newborn, a pre-schooler and both of us wfh in a small apartment!
So my view now is balanced. In previous generations we didn't behave in the same way regarding socializing, working mums, travel etc. iPads and tech can be great to get everyone through but my personal opinion is that it should be limited and have boundaries.
We now use the iPad occasionally but in a very limited way and I would never judge others because you don't know what their situation is outside of that moment.

@Stompythedinosaur
I find that kind of comment a bit dense, we’re all capable of critical thinking and reading, even looking back at personal experiences.
For example my SIL.
Being a parent doesn’t qualify you in anything.
Everyone has different children with different needs, different personal lives, different everything.
Just because you wanted your child to have an iPad doesn’t mean I cant not want my child to have one?
My MIL raised 6 (baring SIL and baby SIL)
Without an iPad (too young to tell with baby SIL she’s already interested in it )
I spoke to her earlier and she had told me she wished SIL never got it.
There’s people with children the same age as yours who don’t allow any screen time at all or some allow a little bit.
The issue with these forums is the extreme gate keeping.

I’m a similar age to you OP and had a similar experience with having very little tech as I grew up. I think there does seem to be big drawbacks to children having screens. This is all anecdotal of course but it’s definitely shaped my view massively.

My siblings (quite a bit younger than me, ages ranging from 7-12) all grew up with tech. I think by the time they were 5 all of them had their own tablets. That’s the only thing that interests them, they have to be forced to go to their clubs because they prefer to sit and do nothing on their tablets. They facetime friends, but they don’t talk to each other, they all just play on their xboxes.

Has it helped their tech literacy? No. It took weeks for them to get a hand of getting onto any of their schoolwork alone because playing games and searching things on youtube isn’t very helpful when it comes to to the important things that are largely done on computers.

I don’t think I (comparing my younger self to them) am more intelligent than any of them. I’m pretty average as far as things go. Yet I think that I learned the basic important tech skills very quickly once I had to, and my childhood wasn’t wasted being addicted to screens. I developed interests other than youtubers and instagram and even though I was annoyed at the time to not have the same things as my friends I’m very glad of it now!!