Thoughts on the ‘IPad generation’

[Cash02]

Are you ever in a restaurant or the supermarket and you see children completely engrossed into their screens, their sticky, food encrusted screens? (exaggerating)

What are your thoughts? If you have any?
My little girl is 7 months, I’ve no clue on what parenting a toddler is like and I won’t pretend I do.
However people for thousands of years raised children without IPads, what’s changed?
I don’t plan on giving my daughter an IPad as I’ve been reading about the negative affects, but I was just wondering what the general consensus is?
There’s the infamous story, where young children were given books and they tried to swipe the pages like a smart device.
It seems sad to me, but at the same time, every new technology has its critics.
But Is the impact on social and creative skills really deniable?
(I would like to state I’m not talking about families who have a shared iPad that everyone uses on occasion, I’m talking about children who own their own and are on it seemingly constantly)

@BabyYodaYada

I'm 40. We didn't have ipads when I was younger, obviously. But we did spend all day roaming the streets without our parents knowing where we were. And they had to put adverts on the telly to remind us not to run off with the local paedophile or kill ourselves by climbing up a pylon.

When your DC goes to school, they will be given an Ipad at school to work on.

It's the same as anything, if you parent it properly, then devices are nothing to be feared.

Charlie says I god or ember those

When I was a kid in central London n we definitely to play on the inter city line 😱😱 playing dares

How we survived I have no idea

I’d also like to thank everyone for their takes on the matter, I don’t doubt I’ll stick my LO in front of the tv for an hour so I can have a coffee, they only get harder as they get older, and I appreciate everyone’s personal experience.
My post wasn’t so much on technology in general, more specifically an iPad or phone, anything portable that fits in their little hands.
And again wasn’t a post of judgment, more of curiosity.

My 6 yr old is a total screen addict. He’s on his iPad far too much, and it can be a battle to get him to do other stuff.
But...when we get him off it, he finds lots of ways to amuse himself - hot wheels, train set, imaginative play with transformers etc. Plus he reads to us every night and other than handwriting (which is genetically awful in this family) he’s doing well at school.
And the things he can do on his iPad are pretty impressive. He’s really into Minecraft, and whilst he can spend a lot of time trying to kill ender dragons (or something), the things he constructs show skill and imagination. A couple of days ago he built a huge sculpture of a Minecraft character using blocks.

As with everything, balance is the answer.

I think they’re much better than watching TV. I’d rather my 3yo spent an hour on the iPad matching shapes, than an hour watching Hey duggee on loop (she’s done both today though, oops). She gets no more screen time than my older kids at that age, who never had iPads etc.

The big cultural change was when kids TV was available all day. iPads etc don’t make a massive difference, even though they are mobile so more visible for people to judge.

@ChazP
Oh I must admit I still love minecraft
That’s a game I’ll encourage my DD to play, it’s amazing for their creativity!
I have to bribe my SIL with a snack, but once she’s off it she’s lovely to talk too.

I was identifying as the IPad generation too, now I’m retired it’s very handy!
We managed for thousands of years without taking small children to restaurants, it’s not a natural environment for them. My own parents worried that I always had my head in a book, there will always be something.

My daughter is 2 and a half, we have an iPad that she likes to watch Bing on now and then and play the odd shapes/abc puzzle, we can go weeks without her using it however, they are good when you need some time, such as joining a conference call since most of us are working from home.

I do remember when I didn't have kids thinking I'll never left them have an iPad etc but then one day we went out for ice cream with my nieces and a friends kid, all under 2, when the ice cream arrived we popped an iPad in front of them and they sat happily while we ate, there was a child next to us the same age screaming, the parents left in the end so they do have their uses.

@peapotter
What they’re doing on them is also important that’s true.
There’s a big difference between watching peppa pig on a loop and doing a puzzle or something.
I do worry about my SIL not really engaging with her siblings though.

@c24680
I’ll probably have to wait to see how my DD will be when she’s older, I remember being and easy child, my Grandmother often states that too.
I would just stand their while my father was talking to someone, although I was very quiet.
I may be quick to assume that’s how most children are, I have horrible anxiety issues though so I hope my DD isn’t like that in a way.
I’d rather her be loud than like me

Mine’s 10 and I took the decision not to have any screens for the first couple of years, but she was actually three before she watched TV or used an IPad/screen. We didn’t have a TV, so that bit was quite easy! I was completely ridiculed for this! I was told she’d be behind her peers when it came to digital literacy. But I just wanted her to develop her creativity without the use of screens. I get ridiculed now for not really having any screen limits but she doesn’t need them - it’s just one of the things she does alongside playing, reading, writing stories etc. And she’s actually turned out to be a bit of a whizz with IT. To be honest, I don’t know any child permanently attached to a screen - although I do know a couple who live for their allotted time on them and try and sneak extra time whenever possible and it just gets so stressful for the children and their parent.

Unfortunately peppa pig doesn’t work on our tablet, such a shame!

Yes, it can be a concern for some kids, but if it wasn’t iPad then it would be TV or some other screen. Do you see them in “normal life mode” or could they be using it more when they have visitors so you can talk in peace?

It can be abused but I wouldn’t rule them out for your own dc, they can also be very useful.

I was in a hotel a few years ago as a solo traveller.
I went for breakfast and I did think about taking my kindle as I was on my own and it's easier when you're on your own as a female to bury yourself in a kindle or whatever. I decided against it and was feeling brave!
A family of 4 were on the table next to me. 2 adults 2 children. 4 people, 4 screens. I watched them. I was there maybe half an hour. They didn't speak to each other. The waitress came to clear the table and they didn't even acknowledge her existence, let alone say thank you!
Absolute height of rudeness!

@peapotter

I stayed there for a while while pregnant as my MIL wanted to look after me as it’s a cultural tradition for the mother to take care of the pregnant daughter, however my mother isn’t really around so she took that role.
It was around the time my SIL got her iPad, she’ll be four in Feb.
I saw her go from quite social and loving to being completely engrossed in this device.
My MIL had just had a baby herself (my DDs auntie is only a little bit older than her )
and was very tired that it was a bit of a welcome distraction.
My MIL also has two autistic teenagers, and three young children, along with my partner and his older brother.
If anyone needs an iPad it’s her .
I don’t judge her for this, my SIL is loved cared for and very intelligent. It’s just a shame she’s missing out on those memories with her siblings for this silly machine, but it shows how captivating they are for them.

Thing is when I was a kid I remember my dad banging on about how lucky we where to have a vhs player
It blew his mind that we could shove a tape in and ‘override’ what was on the telly
He didn’t have that growing up
It’s just nowadays replace vhs tape for iPad
When this generation grow up and have kids/grandchildren of their own they’ll be amazed at the technology they have and grumble about ‘how lucky they are as we only had our tablets’
I have kids and if it meant I could have 20 minutes of peace,sure I was going to shove them in front of a screen
Sometimes it saved my sanity-just as it saved my mother’s by shoving us in front of the tv once in a while

@Newkitchen123
This is the thing that upsets me, it completely strips some people of social interaction.
I’ll never forget the time I was waiting for my pregnancy doctors appointment and a couple came in, mid thirties maybe. They sat on their laptops..the...entire...time. Didn’t say one word to each other, and we were there a while. I was quite shocked. Obviously I don’t know the their lives, they may of had a 2 hour long conversation before arriving.
But there’s definitely a social impact to new technologies. It’s a shame people can’t discuss it without others going absolutely crazy.

I was thinking about this the other day as my 3 year old gets way more screen time than I thought I would give pre children. In fact I planned not to introduce a screen at all until he was at least in school. But actually I'm okay with it. My son mostly plays learning games, sometimes on his own and sometimes with me or his dad. I don't personally think its having a negative effect, He is beginning to use his imagination with his toys- ie creating story's with them, he loves books and certainly knows how to turn a page (if that story is actually true I wonder if those kids had actually ever been given a book). He also loves nature and jumping in puddles like most toddlers, he just sometimes gets my phone or the ipad when I need to either get on with chores or need a bit of quiet time.

I don't think previous generations were better parents, they just used other means available to get their much needed breaks. Babies left in prams outside, kids kicked out of the house to play all day, more social interaction with family, friends and neighbours to share the workload. I'm an 80s/90s kid and I know my mum stuck a vhs on for us to watch to keep us quiet and wouldn't have even considered if it was classed as screen time.

@Rainbowandscarlett
I remember a similar conversation with my uncle and CDs, now they’re obsolete too!
I just think it’s naive of us to pretend that technology can’t have a negative impact on us, not just children.

Ime people who are funny about kids using iPads in restaurants etc are also very judgy about kids making a noise in restaurants.

I'm against them as a pacifier for young ones in public places, I always have pens and colouring stuff, seems to work

I’m personally of the view that an iPad or similar is just another resource you provide for your children like books or crayons or wooden rainbows. Will they be shortchanged if they don’t have one? No but it’s kind of sad like limiting books (inherently anti social) or art materials (because you don’t like the mess) or toy weapons (encouraging violence)

They grow up just fine either way but no screens denies your child one form of joy and learning and fun.

Personally I’d rather my children had access to as many resources as I can afford to provide.

My kids all have their own iPads and are on them for hours a day. I see nothing wrong with it. My H does a talk about them being digital natives. They also know what books are and love drawing of course.

I was born late 70s and I don’t recognise the ‘we were out roaming the streets’. Everyone I knew used to watch telly for hours a day. I remember being sat in front of it for hours at the childminders. Even watching the bloody test card for ages till the programmes came on. When my mum (in her 70s) comes over, if the kids are running about and playing, she’ll huff ‘isnt there anything on the tv for them!’

@QuentinInQuarantino
Personally I’ve never had an issue with children making noise in restaurants, I find it quite endearing. If you don’t want to about around people why would you go to a public restaurant? Those people who think that should probably stay at home.

Howoohoo, except its rarely 'educational resources' these kids are accessing, often very loudly when in public, its usually some mind numbing repetitive game with irritating music

I have a 7 month old also, so i feel like i am unable to give an opinion, but we had a hospital appt the other day, a lady was waiting there with her 2 children, maybe 3 and 5... both had ipads and headphones on watching youtube, i thought fair enough its keeping them quiet waiting (as i struggled to keep the attention of my 7 month old with 400 different toys) ...but i noticed when they were called they walked into the room without even removing their eyesight from the ipads, and then when they left the room they were both STILL glued to their ipads. To which personally i think is a little ridiculous - as soon as there names were called i would have requested the ipads go away. Personally i thought it was bad manners.

Honestly, I have three boys, 12, 9 and 3. They all love screens. TVs, ipads, Xbox, phone, you name it. They also love sports...cricket and football every weekend and two nights in the week in normal times. Board games. Playing piano. All really social and spoke early. My eldest passed for grammar school and my middle one has been doing advanced reading classes at school(reading age of a Year 10 child apparently). My youngest literally never stops chatting. I say this partly cos I love to boast...ha ha. But mostly because there's nothing wrong with screens. They can be great for entertainment, down time...just a break for you as well. As with all things in life it's balance that matters. Trying to stop screen time in the 21st century (in lockdown!) is like king Canute trying to hold back the tide. But have a house filled with books, eat meals at the table, put radio 4 on in the car and chat to your child about the news, have running races in the garden...there's a lot of hours in a childhood! Interspersed with other stuff, screens are marvellous.