Thoughts on the ‘IPad generation’

[Cash02]

Are you ever in a restaurant or the supermarket and you see children completely engrossed into their screens, their sticky, food encrusted screens? (exaggerating)

What are your thoughts? If you have any?
My little girl is 7 months, I’ve no clue on what parenting a toddler is like and I won’t pretend I do.
However people for thousands of years raised children without IPads, what’s changed?
I don’t plan on giving my daughter an IPad as I’ve been reading about the negative affects, but I was just wondering what the general consensus is?
There’s the infamous story, where young children were given books and they tried to swipe the pages like a smart device.
It seems sad to me, but at the same time, every new technology has its critics.
But Is the impact on social and creative skills really deniable?
(I would like to state I’m not talking about families who have a shared iPad that everyone uses on occasion, I’m talking about children who own their own and are on it seemingly constantly)

The worlds changed
The problem is as parents we spend all day on screens ( easily done , day at work , evening Netflix)
So if it’s going to change we as adults need to model differently

@peapotter you've made me feel so much better... pretty sure we had an hour of Hey Duggee and an hour of Amazon fire today!

My DCs didn’t have an iPad as we couldn’t afford one. My nephew is 11 and he’s always had one. I remember him saying “pad, pad” when he had just started talking. As long as kids get a good mixture of toys, books and parental input an iPad is a great addition. There are plenty of educational benefits from an iPad. Sometimes I want to swipe the tv or rewind the radio in my car. I’m sure if a child swiped a book it was just a one off mistake - we all do things like that

But we did spend all day roaming the streets without our parents knowing where we were. And they had to put adverts on the telly to remind us not to run off with the local paedophile or kill ourselves by climbing up a pylon

It’s true
I let my boys play out quite young (9/10)
It’s funny because where I live is very mixed , and non London born people fear the streets here
But I grew up here and feel safe
Anyway they still prefer screens 😱

@Thisisworsethananticpated
I agree, most of us are on screens a lot, I don’t watch TV but I’m a gamer, that’s my screen time, but I only ever get the chance to when she’s asleep.
My phone doesn’t get much a look as I don’t have social media, only here and texting/calls.
But even then, I’m not saying my LO won’t get screen time.

What’s changed is parents are too afraid to discipline their kids (and I’m not talking about smacking necessarily, I’m talking about just telling them no and giving consequences) and society has become really intolerant of normal child behaviour therefore it is easier to stick them on screen and keep them occupied. Further, people are forced to be so busy these day with having to work full time etc sometimes you just need to get stuff done in peace.

Sweeping generalisations of course but that’s my view.

All screens are not equal. Watching tv doesn't create dopamine addictive behaviour in the same way other screens do

@Jimdandy didn’t say it as I’m not wanting to be put to death, but I agree.

Every single time this topic comes up, people come on and say the iPad is great for the 10/20 minutes they allow their toddler/child use it for. Which is great if that is truly the case. However, I work in this field and for the majority of parents, that is not how it is used at all.
We are seeing massive issues with children who have a screen to keep them quiet at all times. The vast majority of neuro-typical children do not require a screen at all times to keep them amused. Let them be bored. Boredom is good for them. Hours of screens are not.

It's interesting that you are 18 and worried about this. I speak with teenagers about this too and many of them are concerned about the negative impact screens have had on their own lives. They recognise how addictive they are.

From my personal experience, my two under 8's are allowed zero iPad or iPhone time, but allowed watch tv like Cbeebies or the aforementioned dreadful Peppa Pig or Paw Patrol.

Obviously, in Covid times, it is very hard to find a balance with all the screens. However, if at all possible. Outside of the schoolwork, they should be strongly encouraged to do anything else at all that doesn't involve screens.

Teachers and headteachers I speak to on this topic, tell me time and time again that is is extremely obviously which children are spending all their free time on screens versus the ones with limited access to them.

However, if your child gets a good mix of free play, reading, time outside etc, then there is no issue with a mix of screen-time. But it's all about the balance.

"I don’t plan on giving my daughter an IPad"

Yeah, good luck with that.

@UrAWizHarry
Quite frankly I see them as a waste of money and I’m quite frugal, my want to save money will far outweigh the benefits of an iPad.
IMO a TV is more than enough

DC aged 5 has gone through phases of watching utter crap on YouTube. Given there’s so little fun in life at the moment I’m not going to fall out over it. Anyway they seem to have got a bit bored of the YouTube rubbish and now are usually playing a phonics game if they're on it. I’m certainly not going to discourage that.

As for restaurants, why does it matter if kids are on a screen in a restaurant? It’s the only time DC is allowed a screen when eating so for them that’s part of the treat. At home mealtimes are at the table, no screens.

@hollyangel
I respect everyone here and their takes on the matter and again I wouldn’t judge.
But I feel like a lot of parents are in denial about how reliant their children are on their iPads.

My kids dont have their own iPads

We are seeing massive issues with children who have a screen to keep them quiet at all times

Can I ask what age you refer to ? I didn’t have many screens when my kids were small (say to 8)
But there comes a time when they want them , their peers have them etc and it’s hard to say no
Especially when we have them ...

I miss them being smaller , and their toys

In answer to your initial question when DD was little iPads hadn't been invented, so if we ate out we used to take a drawing pad and colouring pencils so that she didn't get too bored while we were waiting for food.

I'm just getting over the idea that your SIL is only 3!

Come back in 1 years months as then you'll have something sensible to contribute to the debate.

@JabbyMcJabface I think it just models bad social etiquette, while eating in a public place it’s important to be engaged with the table, children learn a lot about social expectations while young and it’s all practice for them.

@Londonmummy66 it’s interesting to see how offended some people get, I’m not shaming you.
I think everyone has something to contribute in this debate, even those without children. Don’t be so defensive.

Il probably get crucified for this but my daughter has an iPad, kindle and Nintendo which she loves to play on. This doesn't
Mean she doesn't love crafting, reading, baking etc. She loves playing barbies or dressing up but sometimes she likes some quiet time playing games and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. And yes on the odd occasion I've taken it to a restaurant if I know we were at a family meal that would be longer than an hour or 2 and she would be likely to get bored

Il probably get crucified for this but my daughter has an iPad, kindle and Nintendo

None from me . None . At .all !!!

We held off until they were 2 before any TV and then 7 before an iPad and and Xbox at 9. Limit screen time (different during lockdown) but usually an hour a day. I think childhood is very short and they could waste half of it on screens with no restrictions.

We got tablets for first time this year as required for school now have 2 Kindles 3 children.
Of course lots arguments about screen time, however now children at home, we are working at home, most days raining outside I sometimes think the games on Kindle are better than them watching you tube on TV .
The youngest who is preschool age always ends up with someone's Kindle. No way would I have given older 2 a tablet to play with at that age but now they in the house why not.
Often I hear the 3 of them chatting away and laughing playing Minecraft or Roblox. TV does not always have that level of interaction.

OP, people always get defensive about screens on mumsnet, they are not to be questioned

My kids are 7, 5 and 3.
They have never had a tablet.
We have been out plenty with them. Also travelling. So far books and colouring have worked for us.