Thoughts on the ‘IPad generation’

[Cash02]

Are you ever in a restaurant or the supermarket and you see children completely engrossed into their screens, their sticky, food encrusted screens? (exaggerating)

What are your thoughts? If you have any?
My little girl is 7 months, I’ve no clue on what parenting a toddler is like and I won’t pretend I do.
However people for thousands of years raised children without IPads, what’s changed?
I don’t plan on giving my daughter an IPad as I’ve been reading about the negative affects, but I was just wondering what the general consensus is?
There’s the infamous story, where young children were given books and they tried to swipe the pages like a smart device.
It seems sad to me, but at the same time, every new technology has its critics.
But Is the impact on social and creative skills really deniable?
(I would like to state I’m not talking about families who have a shared iPad that everyone uses on occasion, I’m talking about children who own their own and are on it seemingly constantly)

are you sure you’re only 18, op? you sound older. i’m ten years older than you and by the time i was 15/16 everyone had bebo/msn/myspace. social media has been massive since then so i don’t see how your ‘generation’ - meaning people in their teens and early twenties now - were the last to grow up without technology. if you’re 18 and have no social media then it is highly unusual.

However people for thousands of years raised children without IPads, what’s changed?

^

They didn't take them in restaurants? I don't take mine, and don't intend to, until they can sit and have a conversation in peace

This conversation is just a modern day version of outrage against the printing press.

Here is OP who is posting on social media, no doubt through some form of ultimate consumerist symbol such as an apple device, maybe with an instagram account and wanting to portrat the online lifestyle as some dark art.

By the time your 7 month old gets into school, books will be somewhat reduntand, society and progress will be and has been moving online, that doesn't mean they will be unable to turn pages.

It is worrying about nothing other than change to what your parents did when you was younger and you had access to computer games/teen magaizines/dedicated tv channels.

It really is nothing to stress over

@Thisisworsethananticpated

This is an interesting study showing some of the negative impacts of excessive screen time.

www.irishtimes.com/news/health/screen-time-linked-to-rising-mental-health-issues-in-children-study-1.4360883

The advice I give about restaurants, cars, shops etc is this. If you only give the kids a screen ten percent of the time you're in those places, then it's no problem. Use it as a very occasional treat and it won't be an issue. However, if your kids grow to expect it, that becomes an issue as they haven't learned how to amuse themselves without one.

Screens are also taking away time they could be doing other stuff. Something kids should be pushed towards these days, as much as possible is reading. Reading develops their critical thinking and levels of empathy and this is something many people are sorely lacking. Screens are always going to be more enticing than a book, they're designed that way, by very clever people in Silicon Valley who don't care how much your kids spend on YouTube or Netflix or Instagram etc, but care very much that their own kids don't go online and send them to zero-tech schools.

My general thoughts are there's no such thing. Part of the problem now with homeschooling is that schools are chucking online everything at families, books included and the kids can't use them independently.

Parents and kids are crying out for books and spending hours printing things off so really not over reliant on tech.

My boys both have a tablet, we usually only have them for long journeys/trains and they're happy to put them away when we get home.

At the moment I'm forcing them to use them but they're not that bothered. We usually all use a PC which is the family one so they don't see us using laptops and tablets.

YANBU.

My DS is 21 months and so far I have stuck to my guns - he has never, ever been stuck in front of an iPad or iPhone aside from WhatsApp calls to grandparents. No YouTube videos on the iPad, no games. I find it so distressing to see. It must do untold damage to developing brains and speech.

At mealtimes he sits in a high chair and we distract him with toys if he wants to get down before we’ve eaten much. We sing to him, include him in conversation and distract him. How on earth people think their child will learn how to eat in company when they’re just shoved in front of an iPad all the time I have no idea.

Obviously I’m not talking about parents of SEN children who may be trying to manage far more than I have to as the mother of an NT toddler.

Come back in a couple of years

The world is changing, my dc at 12 is already more tech savvy than my parents who are still in work. I was always being told off for trying to read at the table, I suppose this is the new version of that.

Screen time is all day now thanks to home schooling. The irony!

I think it’s normal now. The future is tech and computers. Moving forward into their generation and when they will be working it would probably put them at an advantage.

My 11 year old can edit code.
I didn’t even know what coding was!!

[quote Cash02]@UrAWizHarry
Quite frankly I see them as a waste of money and I’m quite frugal, my want to save money will far outweigh the benefits of an iPad.
IMO a TV is more than enough[/quote]

I never understand all the comments saying, oh come back in a few years and tell us then. I know lots of people who have held very firm on this and don't allow unfettered access to handheld devices, particularly for their under twelves. It becomes more difficult in secondary school when mobile phones come into play.

However, all my advice applies to non-Covid times. If anyone reading this is struggling to keep their head above water and the screens are the only thing giving them any time to do anything, that's perfectly ok.
I'm mainly talking about normal times and also maybe anyone else who is not so pressured and is simply doing it as it is always the easiest form of parenting to hand over an iPad rather than force them to play/read/draw etc.

@sunshineandshowers21
I can 100% assure you I am 18, I’ll take that as a compliment , you can read my previous threads if you really are a skeptic.
I was born in early 2002, I’ll be 19 in March.
Growing up (0-13) we never had a laptop, my teen years were a bit different, I had a smart phone and used Snapchat, I don’t anymore.
Only WhatsApp as I produce music and need to send files etc.

We had social media when I was young for sure, we had the internet (not me personally but my generation) but it was very limited and not many people could actually afford it.
I remember my grandmother having a PC with a every thick monitor that we’d play CD games on when we went round. But technology and the internet was such a minor part of my life and a lot of people that I grew up with, maybe that isn’t a universal experience but one of those around me, I don’t know.
When I talk about technology and children I really mean 0-10, when children are learning important social lessons and how to interact with other kids, apparently a big part of learning socialisation happens around 2-3, the age of my SIL. Teenagers are a different kind of topic and as a PP said, a lot of teenagers would agree.

@Justanotherlurker
I started a thread on IPads, I’m not marching against capitalism and dreaming of Soviet Russia.

The internet and technology was never my issue. It was the thought of children staring into a screen 90% of their childhood.

I have 3 DD’s 12,6 & 3, 12 year old had an iPad few years back, younger two had amazon fire tablets, until covid and home learning, we live in wales so 3 year old in school also, need laptop for working from home they have iPads each now as their fire tablets just couldn’t handle the daily work, I found iPads to be amazing for them and home learning and just because it’s an iPad doesn’t mean you can’t sit and engage with them when they are using it, can’t remember any of my girls having any issues like addicted not wanting to come off them or ignoring anyone because they are on the tablets, pads or any technology for that matter, most issue I have with my children and technology is with the 12 year old when she’s on a call with 6/7 of her friends on loud speaker because she’s talking and doing something else and them nagging for the technology of corse. Each to their own and what works for them as a family for me and mine we love the pads and they have helped so much with all of their educations not just school work but extra apps too
As for some kids on them all the time none of my business but you can say the same about Xbox PlayStation ds switch if the parents are happy with it then that’s their business.

I have a feeling this thread has transformed into an ‘OP hates all technology’ thread.
I don’t, my partner is an IT technician, I myself produce music on my computer, I also spend hours playing games at night.

My worry is the impact having a portable screen that a child can take everywhere, do anything on, and hold 2 inches away from their face will impact social development in SOME children who become to attached.

The patronising “come back in a few years” type posts are typical but it’s up to you OP. If you don’t think there’s a benefit to your child in having one then of course don’t get one. My DD is nearly two and doesn’t watch tv or have a tablet. People always say this when you’re pregnant or your baby is young. It’s not inevitable that you’ll throw all your ideas or ideals out of the window once the realities of parenting hit. I’ve got older step children, one of whom was 5 when I met them, I’m not completely naive about parenting.

At my DCs' schools the reading scheme is almost entirely online so my three oldest children are on their tablets a lot as they're all avid readers (youngest can't read yet). Their maths homework in non-covid times is online too via Numbots, TT Rockstars, and MyMaths. With Numbots and TT Rockstars they go on it as and when they want to as its based around completing levels and earning reward coins, two things guaranteed to bring out their collector sides. They play a lot of collaborative games together with lots of chatting, team work, and helping each other in game. They also watch a fair amount of YouTube (more than usual at the moment because of lockdown) but to me them watching a slime video is really no different to watching a cartoon in terms of entertainment value, one isn't more worthy than the other just because its on a TV rather than an iPad or Kindle. I don't have screen time limits for them because its not a battle I want to have and I don't want to get entrenched in clockwatching and pleading for more time, they do lots of non-screenbased activities too. We do have rules though around Internet safety and behaviour in general, they know that they'll lose their tablets for a fixed period of they break those rules. They're not allowed tech at the dining table when we're at home but when we're on holiday we relax this rule on the grounds that we've spent the entire day together/interacting so mealtimes are downtime rather than family catch-up time, often the DC will sit together at one table with their tablets/headphones and food while DH and I sit in peace at the next table having a lovely chat in peace. Two of my children are autistic and use their tablets as coping tools when needed, for example in a restaurant if they were at their limit they would put on their headphones and tablets, put their heads down and block out the world for a bit. I'd much rather they sit at the table watching tractor videos than lie under it having a meltdown, something I'm sure other diners would rather too.

@VestaTilley well you clearly win the award for best parent this evening. Well done you. You also win the award for being the most judgmental on here by a country mile.

There is a hell of a lot of educational content on YouTube. Tons of videos on phonics, demonstrating handwriting, maths puzzles, not to mention university lectures and ted talks for those slightly older than primary school age. Plus the various reading and maths apps that are available. Not everything on a screen is evil.

I honestly couldn’t get too worked up about this stuff. I may feel differently when the kids are older and starting to engage with social media. I think that can do much more damage. But I’m not going to worry about them watching paw patrol or playing on reading eggs or how to teach your monster to read. They do plenty of playing away from screens and spend plenty of time outside.

That’s quite a claim you’ve made about vesta, jabby and her 21 month old probably wouldn’t get much from maths puzzles, handwriting demos or ted talks so I’m not sure why you’re taking what she’s said personally...

@AnneLovesGilbert

There’s a lot of defensive people in this thread unfortunately. @VestaTilley well done! I hope I’m still sticking to my guns at 21months!

The families at our local school who believe all technology is bad are now struggling with home schooling!

@ineedaholidaynow
It’s good I like technology then.

@AnneLovesGilbert

That’s quite a claim you’ve made about vesta, jabby and her 21 month old probably wouldn’t get much from maths puzzles, handwriting demos or ted talks so I’m not sure why you’re taking what she’s said personally...

I was merely making a point that there is a hell of a lot of educational content to be found online. So there’s no need to get distressed whenever you see a kid with an iPad.

Reread the comments. They are judgemental. They apparently find it distressing to see a kid with an iPad, which is a bit of an extreme reaction to something that is really none of their business. And could make others who are less confident about their parenting choices than I am feel pretty shit.

Is it all handheld devices that you dislike, OP, or particularly iPads?

Kindles can be picked up cheaply and still have many of the same functions (games, peppa pig on repeat).

Many/most parents would limit screen time with young children. Use them at times such as car journeys, doctors waiting rooms etc when small children can otherwise get fractious.

They can be educational.

Sometimes it is easier to take something that can be used with a drawing app, puzzle app, book, cartoons than taking multiple activities along.

They are also much more intuitive and easy for a young child to engage with and operate than a laptop.

It doesn't have to be all day every day on an ipad or no tech.

My eldest is 13. We didn’t use iPads with them at all when they were pre schoolers. They’re now Y8 & Y7 and the idea that they struggle with tech is utter bullshit. We have never allowed them to use tech in restaurants - they know how to behave and have learnt from an early age the dos and donts of being out to eat.

They use screens loads now obviously but they know the rules and the limits and they never take the piss.

It’s too easy to use tech as a babysitter sadly - but you definitely don’t need to.