For those of you childfree , do you regret not having children?

[Seaair2]

Interested to hear from those of you who are slightly older.

I’m mid 30s and I have never really seen myself being a biological parent. I like children, more so in smaller doses! I am open to step children in the future or even adoption sometimes, or being a teacher , sort of feel like my calling is to help children who are already here does that sound silly?

I just don’t think the full time responsibility (obviously this would happen with adoption) is something that is for me. I don’t know how parents balance it all! I can be quite an anxious person and I think I’d be worrying non stop!!

But my view seems to be looked down on in society because it’s still the norm to have children. I wish it was more common for people to be childfree for there to be more balanced views!

@BobbinThreadbare123

I'm sure that most of us dislike the assumption that we don't know our own minds, too. How many have heard "you'll change your mind" or similar? Why would I? I have never been considered a flip-flopper in my life!

But I got this a bit, especially when I was younger. All the 'oh when you have kids' etc from best friends, relatives, people I worked with etc. And at some point at 30 onwards I did think about having kids.

My honest advice to anyone who thinks it’s not for them, it’s not for you. You might adapt to it and get on with it but your life isn’t yours. It’s changed forever. If in doubt don’t do it.

Of all the women I know the ones who don't want kids are often the nicest and most selfless. There are other ways to positively impact the world other than procreate!

I have children and don't regret them, but miss my life before children sometimes.

My husband and I went through a lot of family deaths on his side recently and I said, “Can you imagine doing all this shit if we had kids too?” His reaction was “No fucking way.”

Yes I was thinking the same thing with my partner all through this pandemic. Watching friends with kids.
I lost my job last march and haven't been able to work since and I just keep repeating..imagine doing this with kids??!!

My honest advice to anyone who thinks it’s not for them, it’s not for you

This was how I answered people when they'd ask me ''when are you having one,when are you starting?' I'd say it's not for me.

This answer,above others,seemed to really get under people's skin. They would look personally offended and then pile on lots of other questions like 'what do you mean'?!
I'll never understand how it seems to almost anger people sometimes that I wont be having children. It's very strange.

I'm 60 this year and though I did want children and spent the first 10 years of my marriage actively trying to have them, it didn't happen and I'm at peace with it now and really quite happy with my life as it is. Like a pp I am glad I don't have small children to home school and entertain.

Mid-40s and periods starting to get a little weird, so I doubt it'd happen.
Never wanted them, don't especially like them or know how to handle/talk to them.
I do sometimes feel in a fairly abstract way that I 'should', or something like that (can't exactly pin down the feeling), just because it's something that has such a definite cut-off.

I've even had one person tell me ''it's like you're almost looking down on people who do have kids,like your time is more precious than others ''
Eh...no. I think you might be projecting dear.

I'm 53. There's not a single day that I regret it.

For a no good bum like me
To live is to be free

As soon as I can't look after myself, I am going to Dignitas.

I'll share the taxi

I only have one child and I loved the younger years. Like just say between 5 and 12. The baby stage was exhausting.
Now that she is a teen,I find that the most challenging and I sometimes question my reasoning for wanting children. Not that she is a bad child as such. In fact she is quite good but I worry so much about her future, the fact that she is an only child. I worry what will happen to her when we are gone and thigns ike that.
So to answer your question, I never ever regretted having her but maybe regret not having more. And sometimes when I am being really tired and cranky I wish I was just on my own and my house could stay lovely and clean :) and I might have more money for myself.

I’m mid-30s and being childfree (by choice) is pure bliss! My husband and I have the most wonderful life together. Lots of disposable income, in normal times lots of holidays (6 or so a year not including mini-breaks). We sleep as long as we want, binge watch movies and TV shows, we can have sex whenever (and wherever) we want.

I can’t think of a single con!

Early 60's, no children, no regrets. I'm sure we'd have loved any that came along, but we also love our quiet home and freedom to do what we like.
The only thing I find annoying is the superior attitude of some parents who seem to think they are better than me just because they procreated!
Then their child starts whining or misbehaving and I can feel superior to them with their whingy brat - and it's amazing how often it is these 'superior' people's children who are little .......

Ahem,(well) over 60. Absolutely no regrets. I've never wanted to be anybody's mother. I am very contented with my life.

No regrets here. I’m 40 and had a wobble in my early 30s after a bad break up with someone who wanted kids. I realised my hormones and emotions were a mess, spent some time single and got my head straight and confirmed my decision not to have kids was the right one. No regrets.

I have a really good relationship with a great partner who is on the same page, and we do loads of stuff together that we couldn’t do if we had kids. I’ve never been broody, I find upset children make me really anxious and despite enjoying playing with friends children I definitely don’t want my own. My time is my own, and if I want a lie in or a spontaneous bike ride or trip away for the weekend I can just do it.

Plenty of people’s children don’t look after them in old age. I live too far from my parents (who I love dearly) to care for them, and my work means I can’t move away.

It doesn’t happen often, but occasionally I get pitying comments from parents who tell me I’m missing an amazing experience and I will never know real love like having a child. It’s rare though, I think now it’s less expected to have kids just because. I respect the choices of my friends who have children and they respect mine.

Mid 40s here. I've never felt the urge, to be honest, although I love kids and spend a lot of time with them.
It's just that it's nice to be able to hand them back to someone at the end of the day. DH and I are free to travel and do what we like when we like (he has an adult son from his first marriage).
I actually think it's awful that some people want to have kids to look after them when they're old...

It doesn’t happen often, but occasionally I get pitying comments from parents who tell me I’m missing an amazing experience and I will never know real love like having a child

Oh God yes..the ''You've never experienced real love'' pity speech. I've had that a few times too🤣

@Notimeforaname

My honest advice to anyone who thinks it’s not for them, it’s not for you

This was how I answered people when they'd ask me ''when are you having one,when are you starting?' I'd say it's not for me.

This answer,above others,seemed to really get under people's skin. They would look personally offended and then pile on lots of other questions like 'what do you mean'?!
I'll never understand how it seems to almost anger people sometimes that I wont be having children. It's very strange.

I’ve had this response from two work colleagues. I think they get defensive, like they feel they need to justify their choice because it’s different to mine? Me not having kids is in no way a criticism of their choice to have kids! Different strokes for different folks.

'I've even had one person tell me ''it's like you're almost looking down on people who do have kids,like your time is more precious than others ''
Eh...no. I think you might be projecting dear'

Yes, just a bit that's a fascinating comment

I'm 41 OP and I'm mostly at peace, and often actively grateful that I dont have kids. I went to the dark side with it all in my early to mid 30s, found myself absolutely pining for a baby and was quite depressed about it all, but I knew in my bones that the endless responsibility was not for me. I still feel envy from time to time, and couldnt cope with baby showers and the like, but I know deep down that it was absolutely the right decision

I wish everyone was as self aware as you and really gave parenthood serious thought, rather than just falling into it as some people do. You're right that is still very much seen as the 'normal' thing to do for women

@slashlover

I'm 42 and have never regretted it. I'd be a terrible parent anyway, I just don't have the patience for it.

I'm the same. No regrets.

53 and no regrets. I was ambivalent for a period in my thirties - more open to the possibility than determined to have children but it didn't happen and I don't mind that it didn't. I get to be a fun and indulgent Aunt and God parent.

I don't really love spending lots of time with young kids but always wondered whether I would really enjoy having teens in the house. Now my friends' kids are reaching the teenage years and I realise how wrong I was! It sounds dire! I'm much happier being the "fun aunt" who won't nag you to pick up your clothes or do your homework.

Late 30s here. I always assumed i would have kids 'in the future' but a couple of years ago I realised this was the future, and I didn't want them.

Like you, I love children. I have lots of nieces and nephews, my friends all have children, and I love spending time with them and hearing what they're up to, I just don't want to dedicate my entire life for the next 20+ years to having my own.

I'm an introvert. I want to lie in, travel, do what i want when I want, and eat crap sometimes. People say I'd be a good mother, but I know myself and the anxiety and resentment would eat me up.