The latest corporate bullshit term I've noticed starting to increase

[StealthPolarBear]

A year ago people used to want meeting 'minutes' or 'notes' .
As of about six months ago I started to hear the term 'meeting read out' and it's on the increase.

I think when people use it it is in a slightly ironic, 'isn't this stupid' way so doesn't irritate me in the same way.

Used non-ironically all the time at my place. The 'legacy system' 'legacy material' 'legacy processes' ... just leaves a me with a legacy of annoyance!

Optics works though.

Definitely had to use that recently given some of the stuff we were going to do. The optics would have looked bad.

Part of my job is to worry about the optics

But do you have to use a different lens to worry about the optics?

If you view the optics through a legacy lens, you can really get in the detail at pace.

Learnings - where the hell did this come from? Whenever I hear "What are the learnings from this?" I want to say, "Well an uncountable noun can't take a plural, for starters".

Glad someone mentioned onboarding!

I print one memo a year - it says memo and goes on the staff notice boards. It's very important topic is the bank holidays and how many days people need to keep for the Christmas shutdown.

It is on MS Word - and probably dates from the times when a paperclip popped up!

We don't have too much of this at work thankfully but my DHs work is complete and utter nonsense. They all spend the whole day in meetings with each other (genuinely back to back meetings for 8-10 hours a day) and use this BS language the whole time. I don't know how he does it.

I also immediately thought of optics. It seems to be everywhere now, and having worked in a bar as a student I can only ever picture those metal brackets that hold spirits upside down against the wall behind the bar. Now those optics I could possibly be interested in.

Deep dive? Surely a sexual thing?

Signpost me to the place omfg awful

I print one memo a year - it says memo and goes on the staff notice boards. It's very important topic is the bank holidays and how many days people need to keep for the Christmas shutdown.

^

AKA the only document people really read

I don't know how he does it.

The awful thing is, I find myself slipping into this bollocks-speak automatically when everyone else is doing it. I expect most people feel the same - it's nonsense but it's infectious .

I see a lot of these in reports written by clients for whom English is not their first language. It's incredible the penetration this bullshit has achieved. I saw "concretized" the other day, as in "they've concretized their strategy". Is this widely used now? It made me shudder.

@LApprentiSorcier

If you view the optics through a legacy lens, you can really get in the detail at pace.

That's so bad it actually makes sense. Yes "viewing x through the lens of..." was everywhere a couple of years ago.

Oh the 'tising' of things! I'd forgotten that. At DH's work everything is optimised, monetised, strategised etc. I appreciate there may be some real words in there but the overuse of it is hilarious. And all they ever do is 'look for synergies'

@PhilCornwall1

I was asked by my manager to "signpost him" (prick!!) to where the document was that I was talking about.

I sent him this.

I think I love you!

We currently have a lot of ‘pivoting’ and also ‘heavy lifting’ (if we can get X team to do the heavy lifting...’). Things get done ‘at pace’.

I’ve never heard Legacy Hand, it’s supremely bonkers!

Most of this is so normal nowadays, I think I’ve just accepted the words, and forgotten to be annoyed. Thanks for reminding me.

That pretentious twaddle drives me insane

@Arobase, it wouldn't surprise me if they did, and I would lurrrve to see our CEO (male) in bright nail varnish, unless the email only pertains to the plebs and he is quite capable of knowing what his state of happiness/misery is and what to wear on any given day whilst the rest of us struggle

However I realise my first point was a slight digression from the OP so I'll mention when my line manager one day announced we are no longer flexible working we are agile working. Flexible was a perfectly good enough word but some clown somewhere had to change it. Agile makes me think of a gymnast, we are not gymnasts ffs.

Agile makes me think of a gymnast, we are not gymnasts ffs.

So I guess it's the gym kit for the next meeting then.

Collaboration. Yes, the word makes sense, but it's so overused - everything has to be done with a collaborative approach - of course, to avoid the deadly 'silos'.

And we don't have meeting rooms any more - we have 'collaboration spaces'.

'Staffer' is a term used in American political circles.

A staffer is a member of the staff of a Congressman or Senator. They do research, answer correspondence, do legal research and drafting. I believe there are also staffers in various White House offices.

It probably became a thing in the UK thanks to shows like the West Wing and others of that ilk.

@PlanetMJ

We get this shite where I am. Recently everyone is expected to be "in the detail". But my favourite is one DH came out if an online meeting laughing about. Someone said "Susan, you have a hand raised do you have a question?" Susan replied "oh sorry, no. Its just a legacy hand from before".

LEGACY HAND FFS.

I wonder if your husband works with me! We have "legacy hands" in our MS Teams meetings.

Where I work, anytime someone makes a point or essentially just tells anyone anything, it's called a Flag. As in, good flag, I want to flag X, make sure you flag that, thanks for the flag.

Flag flag flag

Oh God...how do I get out if working in an office environment so I don't have to deal with this shit anymore. My first admin job was in a media buying agency (full of this type of speak)/at 19 I'm now 42 and absolutely sick to death of all this bollocks ( wanders off to continue working on a novel)

...and I'm well aware I forgot to edit before posting. I'm just so utterly depressed at it all.