DD12 wants to spend £92 on Robux

[IndieTara]

She had £220 of Christmas money ( mostly from her dad who claimed not to know what to buy her )
A few days ago she gave me £80 cash and asked me to transfer the equivalent into her bank account as she wanted to shop on Amazon.
So I did.
She bought a hat and spent £50 on a Robux e gift card and had some change.
20 mins later she went Into her bedroom And I realised I could here something. Turns out she'd been scammed of the Robux on Adopt Me and was crying her heart out. This is not the first time she's been scammed on there and we have had many conversations on the subject.

Tonight she has asked me to transfer money into her Go Henry account again. When I asked why she told me she wants to spend £92 on Robux.

Now obviously it is her money but I can't help thinking that it's a complete waste of money too. I really want to say no but also know that she should be allowed to spend her own money on whatever she wants. We both also know that if she asked her dad to do the same he would flat out refuse.
What should I do?

[quote IndieTara]**@Allispretty* thanks for the defence it's not just @Jakey056* though. It seems lots of MNer's are aiming their vitriol at me tonight. [/quote]

You are absolutely not going to turn your dd into a spendaholic with a life ridden with debt! For what it's worth my ds dad learnt very young how to handle money and came from a well off family. He never has a penny now...

I wouldn't respond op I'm sure people just enjoy belittling people on here these days

@longdarkwinter that's a good example but I bet nobody is calling you a shitty parent because one is a spendthrift

@Allispretty yes I've noticed that too

@IndieTara
Sure, very different use of money. I guess the point I am making is that it is a lot of money to spend on something that gives so little long term value. Probably my own preference for how I spend my money is on things I value again and again, like books etc. Just different ways of spending money I guess. I wish you luck with coming to a conclusion.

@Allispretty
Sure, I see your point of view.
I think its a lot of money and I think theres little learning in how to manage it responsibly in this situation. But in the end kids do learn to value money either by being shown or learning the hard way.

Sometimes this site can provide incredibly varied, intelligent and well-articulate points of view. Sometimes not. Online gaming is a ‘sometimes not’ area, and a stark reminder that Mumsnet is overwhelmingly used by middle-aged ladies. ‘Gambling’ indeed!

OP, to a lot of posters on this thread, online games aren’t ‘real’ in the same way a Monopoly board or a deck of cards is real. Their definition of ‘real’ is something physical you can interact with in the real world.

When a child asks for money to spend on an online game, all they see is the money disappearing into the ether. Robux aren’t ‘real’ to them (just wait til they hear about bitcoin!). If you’d said ‘my daughter wants to spend £92 on lego’ there wouldn’t be this problem because lego is ‘real’. They know what lego is, they can touch lego, they understand how the lego will be used. They're basically saying 'you are stupid for letting your daughter spend money on something that is meaningless to me personally'.

For the question ‘should I let my daughter spend £92’ I’d personally want to know exactly what she was going to spend it on and why. I think I’d be inclined to say she can have £10 a week or something, to avoid any nasty surprises.

Ignore the people saying she’s too old to be getting scammed and is therefore daft. We don’t know what happened so we can’t make that judgement call. If it was something REALLY silly on her part then fair enough, but in general most scammers are clever and people of all ages get scammed in all sorts of ways all the time. Regarding the trust trade, well, she probably won't be doing that again! (if she does, THEN you have a problem).

In the end, it's her Christmas money. She can spend it how she likes, surely? Then once it's gone it's gone, and if when it is she wishes she had some left, she'll use it differently next time?

@Jakey056 yes that's an adults way of thinking not a 12 year olds. Plus I'll say it again that I have stuck with my original thoughts and already told DD she cannot spend £92 on Robux,

@sararh I think that is the most reasoned, intelligent post I have read on this thread and I'm a very middle aged mum!
FYI if DD said she wanted to spend £92 on Lego I'd be horrified as I know she'd never play with it.

How is she getting scammed? The game doesn't allow it, the only way my dd gets scammed is by being a wally

Onjnmoeiejducwoapy

All games for my nephew and niece are no purchase/spend only. I’m the same with my games. Just as much fun.

I’ve got my grip and it is onto longdistance’s hand.

Yes it is fun. Yes loads of kids enjoy it. Yes it is a waste of money. And it is a bloody shame she got scammed.

At the end of the day there is nothing to show for it really. I’d rather money went on something useful or something you could at least touch.

And here i am living up to my middle agedness sarah

But I grew up with love and very little else. We worked our socks off as soon as we could so we could contribute to the house and have what we wanted.

It is a generational thing I think so fair enough.

It just would have been unthinkable foor anyone in my family to spend that on a game. Even now. 🤷‍♀️

@IndieTara and @sararh
@IndieTara
Yup. Thats an adult point of view because thats what I am! You came on the site to get an adults point of view no?
I totally get the 'physical' vs 'non physical' purchase and the right to do with with her money what she likes but the question is not either of those things despite the diversion into a values based argument. The question is primarily tactical and strategic- 'What should I do? - you can re-read the first post and see thats what you asked. Thats what I responded to with my rationale for doing so.

sarah is very sensible.
You can consider gaming a terrible waste of money because you have nothing physical to hold.
Or you can consider it is ethically responsible as it provides well paid creative jobs but doesn't use as many physical earth resources.

OP, I wouldn't dare mention how much money ds has spent on games, I'd definitely be called a crappy parent and told about how much food shopping he could have bought!

I still think the free initially but in purchase charge games shouldn't be directed at dc though.
It is an exploitative tactic.

there are some awful people on that site, my youngest sister who is in primary told me about her friend who was scammed out of it so now my parents or myself sit with her when buying anything on there and screen record so to prove who stole

"I’d rather money went on something useful or something you could at least touch"

What if she wanted to go to the cinema and watch a movie? You can't touch that

What if she wanted to download a Kindle book? You can't touch that. Would a paper book give her more enjoyment than an e-book and if so, why?

meg

I did say I’d rather - not that she should.

I don’t go to the cinema, so can’t comment on that either.

The book thing? Yes I read and have books from my twenties I still love.

It is horses for courses but wanting to spaff nearly £100 on a game after losing £50 to a scammer? Nope. That wouldn’t have been for me.

I saved for a tv for my room and the rest went on my first car which was very useful for my job. It just wouldn’t have occurred to me to buy tokens for a game with it. In my era it might have been like buying gold plated tokens for connect4 or a gold car for monopoly.

I do love the odd bit of gaming even at my age but I can enjoy it fine without paying for extras.

As I said above, it is generational I suppose. That said, the kids in my family want to go overseas in their gap year. (Years away yet) Everything is saved to go towards that.You can’t touch that either but it’ll give them a year of hopefully wonderful memories. They’ve said that if it isn’t spent on that, then it’ll go towards a deposit for a home.

Each to their own. We all have different opinions on what to do with money.

There is a difference between lego and robux though because the girl has previously been scammed at this game? My kids are lego obsessed and they’ve never been scammed out of a lego set.

There is a difference between lego and robux though because the girl has previously been scammed at this game? My kids are lego obsessed and they’ve never been scammed out of a lego set.

🤦🏻‍♀️

Yes it’s her money but she needs you to teach her the value of it.
She doesn’t understand that someone worked very hard for that money she has.
She needs to learn the difference between how it could be spent and how it should be spent.
She also needs to learn how gaming, and other similar things, can make you impulsive and act out of control. With regret later. She’s been through this once but is still too young to learn from it.
This is where you come in and it doesn’t matter that it’s her money in theory. You should still be in control.

It’s not that different from what happened in the past when kids took some kind of collectible, tradable cards into school. They’re pressured or conned into a swap and lose something that’s rare/high value. I’m sure that all those mothers had warned their DC too. Even a very sensible spending limit of £3 a week can lead to them having something high value over time.

It’s a shitty part of parenting - deciding how much freedom to screw up you allow them to have.

I don’t know why what I said was wrong. It isn’t a good use of her money if she can easily be cheated out of it. If she bought a toy, a book, a trip to the cinema, then it would be a lot harder for her to lose this or have someone else take it away. She would get the full enjoyment of the experience or item without worrying about being scammed/cheated.

@sararh

Sometimes this site can provide incredibly varied, intelligent and well-articulate points of view. Sometimes not. Online gaming is a ‘sometimes not’ area, and a stark reminder that Mumsnet is overwhelmingly used by middle-aged ladies. ‘Gambling’ indeed!

OP, to a lot of posters on this thread, online games aren’t ‘real’ in the same way a Monopoly board or a deck of cards is real. Their definition of ‘real’ is something physical you can interact with in the real world.

When a child asks for money to spend on an online game, all they see is the money disappearing into the ether. Robux aren’t ‘real’ to them (just wait til they hear about bitcoin!). If you’d said ‘my daughter wants to spend £92 on lego’ there wouldn’t be this problem because lego is ‘real’. They know what lego is, they can touch lego, they understand how the lego will be used. They're basically saying 'you are stupid for letting your daughter spend money on something that is meaningless to me personally'.

For the question ‘should I let my daughter spend £92’ I’d personally want to know exactly what she was going to spend it on and why. I think I’d be inclined to say she can have £10 a week or something, to avoid any nasty surprises.

Ignore the people saying she’s too old to be getting scammed and is therefore daft. We don’t know what happened so we can’t make that judgement call. If it was something REALLY silly on her part then fair enough, but in general most scammers are clever and people of all ages get scammed in all sorts of ways all the time. Regarding the trust trade, well, she probably won't be doing that again! (if she does, THEN you have a problem).

In the end, it's her Christmas money. She can spend it how she likes, surely? Then once it's gone it's gone, and if when it is she wishes she had some left, she'll use it differently next time?

Sorry but this is hilarious

I’m in my thirties, so well on the way towards middle age, and grew up with gaming. Because my mum (now nearly 70) was into it. But thanks for explaining to the noobs

To take your monopoly example, buying a game upfront on Steam (say) is like buying the monopoly board game. You pay for it, you play with it as much as you want til you get bored, you take it out of the box again a few years later and enjoy it again. You can buy a different version (expansion pack) or a solid gold boot (horse armour) if you want to, but you can enjoy the base game without them.

In-game purchases are like spending real money to get out of monopoly jail. And the games are set up in such a way that people do pay, because they want to keep playing.

I won’t comment on the OP’s situation, as i think she’s had enough, and ultimately I don’t want to be judgemental about what others spend their money on if it’s not hurting anybody. I do feel that in-game spending is a potentially unhealthy habit, but we all make our own calls about those.

Ds was scammed on Roblox a few years ago, he was scammed on a trade for some valuable items. We emailed with screenshots and he did eventually get his items back!

@feawen brilliant analogy!
Like spending real money to buy monopoly money!
That's it exactly.