DD12 wants to spend £92 on Robux

[IndieTara]

She had £220 of Christmas money ( mostly from her dad who claimed not to know what to buy her )
A few days ago she gave me £80 cash and asked me to transfer the equivalent into her bank account as she wanted to shop on Amazon.
So I did.
She bought a hat and spent £50 on a Robux e gift card and had some change.
20 mins later she went Into her bedroom And I realised I could here something. Turns out she'd been scammed of the Robux on Adopt Me and was crying her heart out. This is not the first time she's been scammed on there and we have had many conversations on the subject.

Tonight she has asked me to transfer money into her Go Henry account again. When I asked why she told me she wants to spend £92 on Robux.

Now obviously it is her money but I can't help thinking that it's a complete waste of money too. I really want to say no but also know that she should be allowed to spend her own money on whatever she wants. We both also know that if she asked her dad to do the same he would flat out refuse.
What should I do?

I would allow her to buy roboblox with her money if that is what she wants...otherwise what is the point in anyone gifting her money if she can’t buy what she wants.

However I would spend time talking to her to figure out a way you can work together to make sure she uses her money safely and make sure she is buying something useful with it.

I do feel a little that mistakes like this is what help us learn too. So although it’s not ideal she most likely will be more careful next time.

My friend had a mum like you and she is now up to her eyes in debt. Her kids have to go without because of how skint they are but if they get Christmas or birthday money they are also allowed to spend it on this shit. It’s a never ending cycle of poor money management

@BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze I actually have my own Roblox account to try and keep some sort of eye on what she's doing. It doesn't work massively well as I don't go on often ( do not enjoy video games at all ) but i do get a feel for how it works and what goes on.
Same as I log into her Tik Tok and Snapchat accounts to see what she's doing

Adopt me is absolutely awful for this. DD likes to spend the odd bit of money on Robux for Royale High, but this was only after a loooong conversation about scammers and how to avoid them, as well how to avoid doing it herself by accident(checking that shes trading things of similar value etc)

if shes lost 50 quid within minutes, she's clearly not ready for it and that's that. Can you get her set up with a steam account and maybe encourage her to buy herself games there instead. Although be wary of games with ingame purchases.

@diamondpony80 'spend that kind of money'?
She has £3 a week from her pocket money to spend on it if she wants to and the £50 Xmas money she spent a few days ago.
She's hardly a big spender.

@Curtaintwitchingwitch well luckily my daughter has a mum who is sensible with money and isn't in any debt.

We had this OP. My 9 year old wanted to spend £40 on Robux.

I said absolutely not. No more than £10.

Obviously he did the whole "But it's my money!"
And he has a point. But it's my job to teach him to be responsible with the money.

He bought himself two packets of sweets earlier, I didn't let him eat both packets straight away because it's too much. It belongs to him but I still have to manage it.

Good luck, it's not an easy fight.

[quote IndieTara]@diamondpony80 'spend that kind of money'?
She has £3 a week from her pocket money to spend on it if she wants to and the £50 Xmas money she spent a few days ago.
She's hardly a big spender. [/quote]
Spending £50 on one thing at 12 is absolutely a big spender.

£92 is a LOT of money. That's food for my whole household for at least two weeks. It sounds like she doesn't understand that at all. She needs to learn.

Also, you're completely ignoring the fact that she obviously isn't mature enough for these types of games and so it's your job as her parent to step in and stop her having access to them until she's grown up a bit.

Our house-Gift money is not spent on crap

You want crap you earn it and then you’ve worked for the crap so you may choose wisely

@IndieTara So teach her then. You’re not. She could end up just like my friend.

And sensible with money is a stretch if you let your kid loose with money like this

@Curtaintwitchingwitch if she ends up in debt as an adult it won't be because of me and it won't be because she once spent £50 on Robux at age 12!

I've just ask my son who is doing game development at college about this and how it works.

I think in simple terms they charge robux as a profit making system. Anyone can make a game on it and the get money through this. He said he could easily make a game on it and scan people (but wouldn't!)

He said it's the whole danger of these types of platforms and why they are aimed at children 7-teen because they get drawn into the wanting stuff and don't really have an understanding of the value of money.

Is it just me or is this one step from gambling? Why the hell are 12 year olds doing things like this?

Clearly your lesson on avoiding scammers didn't work

Clearly she didn't learn from the last time she got scammed - you're the adult - that's your parenting failure

No I wouldn't let her piss £92 up the wall at age 12! Seriously?! It's irrelevant lots of kids age 7 and older are on there - it's your job to put boundaries in place 🤷‍♀️

I actually have my own Roblox account to try and keep some sort of eye on what she's doing. It doesn't work massively well as I don't go on often ( do not enjoy video games at all ) but i do get a feel for how it works and what goes on.
Same as I log into her Tik Tok and Snapchat accounts to see what she's doing

I’m not into video games either but both my kids are so I’ve had to learn. 😬 Well sort of. 🤣 My son who is 17 is massively into gaming so he’s a big help with with our daughter and she listens to him as he’s ‘cool big bro.’ It’s hard for parents I think but you just have to do your best. My daughter is now very used to checking everything with us or her brother and she doesn’t mind at all, it’s just normal to her. She’s a really nice girl and it really upset her when she was scammed.
Thankfully she isn’t interested in tiktok or Snapchat yet.

I hate all the ‘it’s a waste of money’ comments. My relative said ‘it’s a waste of money, she could have a bike instead’. 🤣 Now, that would be a waste of money.

[quote IndieTara]@BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze I actually have my own Roblox account to try and keep some sort of eye on what she's doing. It doesn't work massively well as I don't go on often ( do not enjoy video games at all ) but i do get a feel for how it works and what goes on.
Same as I log into her Tik Tok and Snapchat accounts to see what she's doing [/quote]
Tiktok and Snapchat are both inappropriate for her age

Loosing £50 and then asking to loose another £90 off straight away is a pattern of behaviour that you obviously do not want to acknowledge.

Poster after poster on Here telling you that they can see she isn't mature enough to have this kind of game interaction and you are deflecting and defensive.

You don't want to say no because you want to be the nice parent.

I don't see it as gambling as they are using the game currency to buy ( in this particular game ) online baby pets which they then have to feed and look after so they grow up, then they use them to try and trade up to legendary higher status pets. It's all part of building up a virtual life, they build a house and choose Styles and furnishings. They can trade for cars and potions to make their pets flyable etc. They can set up andinvite friends to parties etc

@Onjnmoeiejducwoapy

Is it just me or is this one step from gambling? Why the hell are 12 year olds doing things like this?

Yep

Really interesting to find out about how to teach children how to be canny on Adopt me. I have a DD12 too. I've limited robux purchases to £15 from her Christmas money.

@Onjnmoeiejducwoapy

Is it just me or is this one step from gambling? Why the hell are 12 year olds doing things like this?

Playing roblox is nothing like gambling 🤣

Is it just me or is this one step from gambling?

🤪

This has reminded me of the first time I was scammed in a computer game, all the way back in 1998! There was no money involved but a very sentimental item, it really was a lesson I've never forgot.

@tomnjerrylover I haven't said yes to her spending the £92 I've said no.
If you read my OP you'd have seen that I said I thought it seemed like a waste of money and wanted to say no. I just had a bit of a niggle about it being her money to spend. That's all.

My eldest has this game. She too wanted to spend her Christmas money on it and I said no. I let her use £10. It is a waste of money and children are never too young to learn the value of money.
I tell my children all the time how much things cost and how much we have to work for them. My eldest also knows how little some people have and how important it is not to waste money. Start these lessons now and don't let her waste money because it's her money, she is too young to understand.

As for her being scammed and trading etc put a stop to how much freedom she clearly has online. She should not be allowed to interact with strangers. Children online need to be closely monitored and that's why as parents we need to fully understand what they are doing and how it works.
You say she has tik tok and snap chat, do you monitor these? There is a very scary world online and children of her age are not old enough not to share unpleasant and risky stuff.

Believe me I work with children and young people and I see it every single day. As strict as it seems I will lock down my childrens Internet use for as long as humanly possible.