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Men Behaving Badly- Dear God, was it always this horrible?!

190 replies

EreLongDoneDoDoesDid · 02/01/2021 18:06

A Tier 4 Christmas has caused DH and I to turn to the TV for some telly comfort food.

A few nights ago we started watching Men Behaving Badly on Netflix. This was a show that I remember with a lot of affection from my early teens and DH felt the same way. Aside from the Christmas episode- which I stand by as being a great slice of Christmas comedy- we hadn’t watched any of them since the early noughties.

For reference MBB began in 1992. I was 12 and didn’t watch the early series, coming in at around the series 4 mark (although I did see the earlier series later, probably in my mid to late teens). It ran for a total of six series and there was a Christmas special in 1997 and then a trilogy which ended the whole thing off in 1998. It launched the careers of Martin Clunes and Caroline Quentin and brought Neil Morrissey and Leslie Ash to prominence after some years in minor roles. Harry Enfield was also in the first series and my understanding is that he was pretty well known comedian and added a bit of a star turn to it.

In case you’re not British or were living in a hole during the 90s it was a bawdy, un-PC half hour BBC comedy (actually, it started out on ITV for the first two series) and the premise was that Gary, a 30ish year old security sales manager, lives in a flat in London with his flatmate (and friend from uni) Dermot. They’re both immature misogynists whose passions are drinking down the local (grotty) boozer, drinking cans of Stella at home and talking about women they’d like to shag. Gary has a girlfriend, nurse Dorothy, but Dermot doesn’t have a regular girlfriend, instead chasing largely unobtainable women, including the woman who owns the flat upstairs, Deborah. Gary owns the flat and has a steady job, Dermot pays him rent (or more often doesn’t) and is in and out of work. Dermot leaves after series 1 and is replaced by Tony, but Tony occupies the exact same space as Dermot, just with a northern accent. So far, so The-Inbetweeners-15-years-on.

But it’s just awful. Really awful. By the time the show ended I was in my late teens and I don’t remember the world being this....unpleasant nor the show being so broad and offensive. The men are just... idiots and the women shrill and nagging, hen-pecking the men and seeming to not like them at all. The language is really offensive, with the women referred to as “bints”, “bitches” and “slags” and constant references to sex that also border on being unacceptable.

The central romances between Gary and Dorothy and Tony and Deborah are horrible in their own quite different ways: Dorothy seems to despise Gary, and who could blame her because he’s knob. But equally he doesn’t seem to like her at all either, doing everything he can to avoid any kind of real commitment to her. Their relationship is depressing: They constantly argue, seemingly only getting along when it comes to sex (though Dorothy spends much of her time rejecting Gary’s advances). The relationship is quite parental, with Gary as the naughty school boy and Dorothy the mother who just spends her whole time telling him off. They aren’t really ever that nice to one another, and although the message is clearly meant to be that they’ve got each other’s backs when the chips are down, that isn't as clear here in 2021 as it was obviously meant to be in 1995. They also both cheat on one another more than once. Dorothy even sleeps with Tony, which Gary hardly seems to care about.

Tony and Deborah’s romance is equally depressing in a different way: Tony is a sad, sex-obsessed and mopes around the flat all day, drinking lager that he buys with his JSA. He pines over Deborah in the flat and she spends all her time knocking him back and going out with other people. Until the last series when she’s reached her late 30s and basically goes out with him out of desperation. They’re also not very nice to one another but with Tony being more thick bloke who pines and her being slightly less acid-tongued than Dorothy.

There are also some questionable running themes: marriage is often discussed negatively by Gary and Dorothy in a way that maybe was meant to feel modern because she wants it no more than he does, but they do end up almost marrying and later having a baby and you don’t get the feeling that either of them really wanted to (they were just out of any other options). The women as killjoys theme has been discussed and is weaved into the very fabric of the show, whilst the men act like teenagers and avoid the women’s attempts to spoil their fun. There is also a really unpalatable theme about very young girls being fair game throughout the show... Gary makes reference to his desire to shag his 17yo niece several times, at one point saying that she has “buttocks like a racehorse”. Watching it, me and my husband literally shouted “Christ no!” in unison. So bad!

We were also shocked at how much the characters drink and smoke. Culturally the world seems hugely different to now, much more different to how I remember it. Drinking and smoking is done constantly and without question. We also have a good laugh and how rich these characters are. Both Gary and Deborah are 30/31/32ish at the start of the series and both own the 2 bed flats that they live in (that seem to be a conversion of an older house). They live in Ealing and such a flat there now would cost circa £500k. No conceivable way that a middle manager of a security firm and a restaurant manager (which is Deborahs job) would be able to get mortgages, alone, on these properties now.

So my question is this- for someone who was a child and then a teenager throughout the run of this show... were things really this different? It looks like a different world to the one we are in now to the extent that it’s hard to believe it was only 30 odd years ago.

Is this how people felt in the 90s when repeats of beloved 60s and 70s sitcoms were shown? Will we feel like this about the big sitcoms of the teenies like The Inbetweeners, Him and Her, Friday Night Dinner and People Just Do Nothing? Or was this show actually really horrible at the time, I just didn’t notice because I was so young?

OP posts:
Disfordarkchocolate · 02/01/2021 18:09

Yup they were awful. However, great chemistry between the lead actors.

GreenWheat · 02/01/2021 18:20

Almost all comedy is of its time and doesn't age particularly well. I enjoyed it at the time but can't imagine watching it now. Ditto almost every other comedy of the same era. You should try 1970s comedy for a real eye opener though!

Burnthurst187 · 02/01/2021 18:25

If you don't like it, don't watch it

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Sheleg · 02/01/2021 18:27

@Burnthurst187

If you don't like it, don't watch it
This is literally the lamest response possible.
VimFuego101 · 02/01/2021 18:28

Yes, it really hasn't aged well. Probably a lot of similar era comedies are the same - I cringe watching Little Britain and Game On now.

lljkk · 02/01/2021 18:31

yes and no... I can enjoy people being a bit pathetic, though.

thenightsky · 02/01/2021 18:33

I loved Butterflies with Wendy Craig back in the 70s. Saw an episode recently and, OMG, the mum she played was treated like absolute shit by not only her husband, but her two grown sons also. It was certainly nothing to laugh about.

lljkk · 02/01/2021 18:33

Little Britain has gone totally wrong, hasn't it?

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 02/01/2021 18:34

I always thought men behaving badly was very misogynistic. I was about a decade younger than them and thought in real life the women would have kicked them into touch early on. The flat thing was about right and drinking probably about right although I would have added a shed load of drugs in that era although maybe they were too old for that then.

dudsville · 02/01/2021 18:35

I agree with your well written opinion OP. I won't rewatch it though because although I enjoyed it at the time (I didn't see the whole thing because tv was different then and if you missed it then you just missed it) I was older than you when I saw it and I therefore knew that wasn't a show that would sit well with me now!

TravellingSpoon · 02/01/2021 18:36

I havent wver watched the series as I was a bit too young back then, but I have seen a clip where Caroline Quentin is asleep in bed wearing a Tshirr that days something like 'dont even think about it's, as if protecting herself from sexual advances in her sleep. That made me feel a bit grossed out.

Dogsaresomucheasier · 02/01/2021 18:38

I remember it fondly, too. If it’s horrible now then that’s a sign of how far we’ve come. The only worrying bit is that there is a subset of teenage boys and young adults who have not got that memo.

wellthatsunusual · 02/01/2021 18:41

I think it was very of its time but I also think that they weren't meant to be nice characters. The men were meant to be pathetic and annoying. The one episode I remember that actually stuck with me was one where Dorothy wanted to try for a baby and Gary didn't and then in the end he decided he wanted to and she changed her mind as he was just so immature. And I remember thinking 'thank goodness she saw sense'.

StanfordPines · 02/01/2021 18:41

It was of its time. Like the Carry On films were of their time.

june2007 · 02/01/2021 18:45

The women behaved badly too. infact all the charecters. were oover the top and pretty bad. Yes it was funny and cringe worthy, the smoking and drinking is because they are behaving badly.

Next someones going to watch "Gimme gimme" and say how bad that was. But thats kind of the point.

senua · 02/01/2021 18:47

So my question is this- for someone who was a child and then a teenager throughout the run of this show... were things really this different?
I never really watched it because it wasn't my thing. It's meant to be a gross-out comedy though, not a documentary. You laugh (or so I am told) precisely because it's so awful.

We still get gross-out comedy even now, don't we?

Aahotep · 02/01/2021 18:49

The one with Mr Spong and the captain's log is still funny. It was silly and ott even then.
It's just dated.

bringbacksideburns · 02/01/2021 18:50

There's a bit in Butterflies where Ria says out loud "Oh I just want to be raped!"
I watched a rerun and my chin nearly hit the floor. What was Carla Lane thinking?

I don't remember it being that much of a different world back then OP? It was more of a Lad culture possibly with lads mags like Loaded but no Twitter or social media so life did tend to revolve more around going out to the pub, meeting your friends, and yes, smoking, as there were cig machines in the pub and ashtrays on every table.
Pubs were thriving back then and at their most popular.

How I remember the series was Gary and Tony were buffoons. Tony never got anywhere with Debs and Gary and Caroline Quentin's character had a love-hate relationship. The women were far brighter and with her and the men were basically hopeless.
I'd have to watch it again to see how badly it's aged though.

Alexandernevermind · 02/01/2021 18:50

We look at things like this with fresh eyes. They were supposed to have been crap men and the women were supposed to have been morally and intellectually superior, which was the point of the program - and in fact quite a lot of comedy still being produced now. I do kind if think that programs like this almost gave permission to the lad culture it was running alongside. The lads had to be the loveable useless rogues whilst the ladies had to roll their eyes and pick up the pieces.

Orf1abc · 02/01/2021 18:51

Tony wasn't northern!

People with normal jobs could afford flats in London back then. I know several nurses who have their own London properties, if they were starting out now they'd be able to afford a place in a shared house.

Attitudes towards women have advanced, but so has financial inequality.

Aahotep · 02/01/2021 18:51

@june2007
Poor Beryl died recently.
I love Gimme Gimme Gimme, so much.

TitsOot4Xmas · 02/01/2021 18:52

I know the guy that Gary is based on. It’s actually more of a docusoap. Blush

MerryChristmasToYou · 02/01/2021 18:57

I'm younger than the actors and it was very much of its time, and it was funny.
The Christmas specials were awful.

None of the characters were northern, but I only saw the BBC ones.

I didn't 'get' Friends. The actors were too old for their lifestyle.

MrsGulDukat · 02/01/2021 18:57

I think it's meant to be awful.

I loved Gimme Gimme Gimme. I watched some Game On recently. It really has aged.

TartanLassie · 02/01/2021 19:07

I'm only a couple of years younger than Ash and Morrissey but loathed Men Behaving Badly when it came out. Couldn't watch it. Load of crap.

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