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Men Behaving Badly- Dear God, was it always this horrible?!

190 replies

EreLongDoneDoDoesDid · 02/01/2021 18:06

A Tier 4 Christmas has caused DH and I to turn to the TV for some telly comfort food.

A few nights ago we started watching Men Behaving Badly on Netflix. This was a show that I remember with a lot of affection from my early teens and DH felt the same way. Aside from the Christmas episode- which I stand by as being a great slice of Christmas comedy- we hadn’t watched any of them since the early noughties.

For reference MBB began in 1992. I was 12 and didn’t watch the early series, coming in at around the series 4 mark (although I did see the earlier series later, probably in my mid to late teens). It ran for a total of six series and there was a Christmas special in 1997 and then a trilogy which ended the whole thing off in 1998. It launched the careers of Martin Clunes and Caroline Quentin and brought Neil Morrissey and Leslie Ash to prominence after some years in minor roles. Harry Enfield was also in the first series and my understanding is that he was pretty well known comedian and added a bit of a star turn to it.

In case you’re not British or were living in a hole during the 90s it was a bawdy, un-PC half hour BBC comedy (actually, it started out on ITV for the first two series) and the premise was that Gary, a 30ish year old security sales manager, lives in a flat in London with his flatmate (and friend from uni) Dermot. They’re both immature misogynists whose passions are drinking down the local (grotty) boozer, drinking cans of Stella at home and talking about women they’d like to shag. Gary has a girlfriend, nurse Dorothy, but Dermot doesn’t have a regular girlfriend, instead chasing largely unobtainable women, including the woman who owns the flat upstairs, Deborah. Gary owns the flat and has a steady job, Dermot pays him rent (or more often doesn’t) and is in and out of work. Dermot leaves after series 1 and is replaced by Tony, but Tony occupies the exact same space as Dermot, just with a northern accent. So far, so The-Inbetweeners-15-years-on.

But it’s just awful. Really awful. By the time the show ended I was in my late teens and I don’t remember the world being this....unpleasant nor the show being so broad and offensive. The men are just... idiots and the women shrill and nagging, hen-pecking the men and seeming to not like them at all. The language is really offensive, with the women referred to as “bints”, “bitches” and “slags” and constant references to sex that also border on being unacceptable.

The central romances between Gary and Dorothy and Tony and Deborah are horrible in their own quite different ways: Dorothy seems to despise Gary, and who could blame her because he’s knob. But equally he doesn’t seem to like her at all either, doing everything he can to avoid any kind of real commitment to her. Their relationship is depressing: They constantly argue, seemingly only getting along when it comes to sex (though Dorothy spends much of her time rejecting Gary’s advances). The relationship is quite parental, with Gary as the naughty school boy and Dorothy the mother who just spends her whole time telling him off. They aren’t really ever that nice to one another, and although the message is clearly meant to be that they’ve got each other’s backs when the chips are down, that isn't as clear here in 2021 as it was obviously meant to be in 1995. They also both cheat on one another more than once. Dorothy even sleeps with Tony, which Gary hardly seems to care about.

Tony and Deborah’s romance is equally depressing in a different way: Tony is a sad, sex-obsessed and mopes around the flat all day, drinking lager that he buys with his JSA. He pines over Deborah in the flat and she spends all her time knocking him back and going out with other people. Until the last series when she’s reached her late 30s and basically goes out with him out of desperation. They’re also not very nice to one another but with Tony being more thick bloke who pines and her being slightly less acid-tongued than Dorothy.

There are also some questionable running themes: marriage is often discussed negatively by Gary and Dorothy in a way that maybe was meant to feel modern because she wants it no more than he does, but they do end up almost marrying and later having a baby and you don’t get the feeling that either of them really wanted to (they were just out of any other options). The women as killjoys theme has been discussed and is weaved into the very fabric of the show, whilst the men act like teenagers and avoid the women’s attempts to spoil their fun. There is also a really unpalatable theme about very young girls being fair game throughout the show... Gary makes reference to his desire to shag his 17yo niece several times, at one point saying that she has “buttocks like a racehorse”. Watching it, me and my husband literally shouted “Christ no!” in unison. So bad!

We were also shocked at how much the characters drink and smoke. Culturally the world seems hugely different to now, much more different to how I remember it. Drinking and smoking is done constantly and without question. We also have a good laugh and how rich these characters are. Both Gary and Deborah are 30/31/32ish at the start of the series and both own the 2 bed flats that they live in (that seem to be a conversion of an older house). They live in Ealing and such a flat there now would cost circa £500k. No conceivable way that a middle manager of a security firm and a restaurant manager (which is Deborahs job) would be able to get mortgages, alone, on these properties now.

So my question is this- for someone who was a child and then a teenager throughout the run of this show... were things really this different? It looks like a different world to the one we are in now to the extent that it’s hard to believe it was only 30 odd years ago.

Is this how people felt in the 90s when repeats of beloved 60s and 70s sitcoms were shown? Will we feel like this about the big sitcoms of the teenies like The Inbetweeners, Him and Her, Friday Night Dinner and People Just Do Nothing? Or was this show actually really horrible at the time, I just didn’t notice because I was so young?

OP posts:
BackforGood · 03/01/2021 19:33

Though Hot Gossip were trying to shock and be "edgy", whereas Pans People were considered very mainstream.

june2007 · 03/01/2021 20:04

I remeber Debbie Mggee talking about soe of the acts that were on Paul Daniels show in the 80,s and said there would be "something for the Dads." it wasn,t the acts that was the issue but some revealing constumes, peticualrly for a family show.

MerryChristmasToYou · 03/01/2021 20:12

That is true about Srickly too.

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Defenbaker · 03/01/2021 20:26

MBB was funny at times, but I always thought it was a bit overrated really. You've spent a lot of time watching something you don't seem to have enjoyed much, then spent a fair amount of time writing a detailed critique of it... maybe just cut your losses and find something more enjoyable to do.

If you want a laugh I'd recommend watching Father Ted - some silly humour and ludicrous storylines, but it hits the spot with me.

Cindy87 · 03/01/2021 20:40

It was from the Lad and Ladette time wasn't it? Was Nuts magazine out by then, and FHM? Kind of makes me feel optimistic about how far we've come.

june2007 · 03/01/2021 23:19

Yes Nuts and Zoo. I had a BF who sometimes read zoo the injury of the wk was quite funny, and some Soldiers who had found umbongo in the Congo. But other wise an excuse for topless women.

june2007 · 03/01/2021 23:19

Also the time of Moore and "position of the weak".

DenisetheMenace · 03/01/2021 23:21

What an interesting post.

Can only suggest, time and place. It’s a time capsule.

Weesweetiewife · 03/01/2021 23:34

I remember my boyfriend loved it and I loved him a little bit less because he did.. I could not put my finger on why, but I didn't know about misogyny, patriarchy etc in those days...

june2007 · 03/01/2021 23:38

Was it patriachy and misogny though? The women were painted as the sensible ones. (But not that sensible. )

SinisterBumFacedCat · 03/01/2021 23:51

Nuts and Zoo seem light years away from the readily available online porn we have now which is constantly pushing the boundaries and by many accounts of younger women on here have normalised violence in sex and made some men unable to maintain an erection without porn. In comparison I’m almost nostalgic for Loaded.

SinisterBumFacedCat · 03/01/2021 23:56

@june2007

Was it patriachy and misogny though? The women were painted as the sensible ones. (But not that sensible. )
That’s what I also hate about it, with MBB and also the Inbetweeners, the women are presented as confident and almost unattainable but kind of unrealistic and boring. Real women do have flaws and make mistakes, like in Motherland and Derry Girls they have actual personalities and are not just some blokes fantasy.
Ozgirl75 · 04/01/2021 03:33

I used to occasionally read FHM in the hairdresser and it wasn’t too bad. Yes, semi dressed women but the articles were done in a kind of “women are fab, let’s see what we’ve got to do to impress them” kind of way, certainly not “women owe you violent hideous sex” like so much porn is. It was much more tongue in cheek and funny than that. Didn’t ever read Loaded or Nuts, perhaps they were.

Downunderduchess · 04/01/2021 05:04

Never liked it, I don’t generally like anything Caroline Quentin is in, I couldn’t watch Jonathan Creek because of her, until she was replaced. Even without her MBB was a bit shit.

Schehezarade · 04/01/2021 05:23

I didn't like Strictly because the attractive women were barely covered whilst men were in suits. Stopped watching years ago so it may have changed.
These comedies put the lead characters as the joke- idiot, unhealthy, sexist blokes. And comedies usually get a bit OTT when they have to come up with new stories. They were quite likeable at the start but that changed.
Now much of the 'comedy' is poor, digs at the Gov which gets tedious, thankfully women's writing is being screened now and is funnier.

Gwenhwyfar · 05/01/2021 14:12

"The fat fighters women was written in response to people I thinkMatt Lucas had actually met/his experience of WW type clubs."

It was also along the same lines as the League of Gentlemen's jobseekers' class.

There was even a sketch about a prime minister.

BikeRunSki · 05/01/2021 14:27

@Ozgirl75

I used to occasionally read FHM in the hairdresser and it wasn’t too bad. Yes, semi dressed women but the articles were done in a kind of “women are fab, let’s see what we’ve got to do to impress them” kind of way, certainly not “women owe you violent hideous sex” like so much porn is. It was much more tongue in cheek and funny than that. Didn’t ever read Loaded or Nuts, perhaps they were.
In the mid 90s I was mid twenties and shared a flat with 3 men of similar age, who read FHM/Nuts. As far as I remember, there were scantily clad women, but not anything that could even be described as soft porn really. It was the age of Girl Power, Zoe Ball and Sara Cox falling out of taxis, ladette culture, “the” Eva Herzigova Wonderbra advert. All the men I knew were largely slightly in awe of their female peers and counterparts. It felt very much like girls had the upper hand.
shadypines · 05/01/2021 15:11

*Burnthurst187

If you don't like it, don't watch it*

Seriously, how inane, or do you need help interpreting the OP's second paragraph in particular as to why she watched it?

I never watched it Erelong and from your description I am very glad. The sentence where you said a character stated wanting to shag his niece Shock and this was comedy??

MacDuffsMuff · 05/01/2021 15:18

It's just dated, that's all. Most things are at some point.

HarrietteNightingale · 05/01/2021 18:59

In the mid 90s I was mid twenties and shared a flat with 3 men of similar age, who read FHM/Nuts.

You could have been a 90s sitcom Grin

Iamthewombat · 05/01/2021 19:04

Nothing says “I’ve got the upper hand” quite like posing in your knickers and giving interviews about your sex life to magazines like FHM and Nuts.

Men are so unimaginative. They don’t do innovative things like that. No, they look for professional success and respect. How old fashioned of them.

Ozgirl75 · 05/01/2021 23:18

To be fair there were plenty of relatively undressed men in Cosmo too.

Ozgirl75 · 05/01/2021 23:20

I recall very fondly a particular Keanu poster I had, with his naked bottom. In fact when I went camping with a friend we had it taped onto the tent wall and said goodnight to him and his fine buttocks every day.

blubberball · 06/01/2021 01:16

I grew up watching British comedy, and Men behaving badly was a video I watched over and over. I watched it recently, and I agree that it hasn't aged well at all.

My favourite characters in it were probably the pub landlords, I think they were called Les and then later Ken. One of my favourite bits was when Les says "I think it's sad when a woman lets herself go", as he lifts his filthy shirt to scratch his huge, sweaty beer belly.
Or when he finds an old fried egg between the pages of a magazine and declares "I'll have that!"
Or when his brother Les comes to visit, and Tony observes "But Les, you're called Les", and Les says "Oh well, you know when you're a kid, and you want everything your big brother has got? Well I wanted his name"
"What's your real name?"
Les looks sheepish and says "Des".

Les stands next to his huge, sweaty brother and says "Blood's thicker than water... Especially ours"

George and Anthea were great too.

Iamthewombat · 06/01/2021 08:09

To be fair there were plenty of relatively undressed men in Cosmo too.

There were a few, not plenty, and they weren’t the main subject of the magazine. Nor were they on the cover. Nor was anybody claiming that any man featured in such a way was, in doing so, showing us women that he ‘had the upper hand’.

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