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Men Behaving Badly- Dear God, was it always this horrible?!

190 replies

EreLongDoneDoDoesDid · 02/01/2021 18:06

A Tier 4 Christmas has caused DH and I to turn to the TV for some telly comfort food.

A few nights ago we started watching Men Behaving Badly on Netflix. This was a show that I remember with a lot of affection from my early teens and DH felt the same way. Aside from the Christmas episode- which I stand by as being a great slice of Christmas comedy- we hadn’t watched any of them since the early noughties.

For reference MBB began in 1992. I was 12 and didn’t watch the early series, coming in at around the series 4 mark (although I did see the earlier series later, probably in my mid to late teens). It ran for a total of six series and there was a Christmas special in 1997 and then a trilogy which ended the whole thing off in 1998. It launched the careers of Martin Clunes and Caroline Quentin and brought Neil Morrissey and Leslie Ash to prominence after some years in minor roles. Harry Enfield was also in the first series and my understanding is that he was pretty well known comedian and added a bit of a star turn to it.

In case you’re not British or were living in a hole during the 90s it was a bawdy, un-PC half hour BBC comedy (actually, it started out on ITV for the first two series) and the premise was that Gary, a 30ish year old security sales manager, lives in a flat in London with his flatmate (and friend from uni) Dermot. They’re both immature misogynists whose passions are drinking down the local (grotty) boozer, drinking cans of Stella at home and talking about women they’d like to shag. Gary has a girlfriend, nurse Dorothy, but Dermot doesn’t have a regular girlfriend, instead chasing largely unobtainable women, including the woman who owns the flat upstairs, Deborah. Gary owns the flat and has a steady job, Dermot pays him rent (or more often doesn’t) and is in and out of work. Dermot leaves after series 1 and is replaced by Tony, but Tony occupies the exact same space as Dermot, just with a northern accent. So far, so The-Inbetweeners-15-years-on.

But it’s just awful. Really awful. By the time the show ended I was in my late teens and I don’t remember the world being this....unpleasant nor the show being so broad and offensive. The men are just... idiots and the women shrill and nagging, hen-pecking the men and seeming to not like them at all. The language is really offensive, with the women referred to as “bints”, “bitches” and “slags” and constant references to sex that also border on being unacceptable.

The central romances between Gary and Dorothy and Tony and Deborah are horrible in their own quite different ways: Dorothy seems to despise Gary, and who could blame her because he’s knob. But equally he doesn’t seem to like her at all either, doing everything he can to avoid any kind of real commitment to her. Their relationship is depressing: They constantly argue, seemingly only getting along when it comes to sex (though Dorothy spends much of her time rejecting Gary’s advances). The relationship is quite parental, with Gary as the naughty school boy and Dorothy the mother who just spends her whole time telling him off. They aren’t really ever that nice to one another, and although the message is clearly meant to be that they’ve got each other’s backs when the chips are down, that isn't as clear here in 2021 as it was obviously meant to be in 1995. They also both cheat on one another more than once. Dorothy even sleeps with Tony, which Gary hardly seems to care about.

Tony and Deborah’s romance is equally depressing in a different way: Tony is a sad, sex-obsessed and mopes around the flat all day, drinking lager that he buys with his JSA. He pines over Deborah in the flat and she spends all her time knocking him back and going out with other people. Until the last series when she’s reached her late 30s and basically goes out with him out of desperation. They’re also not very nice to one another but with Tony being more thick bloke who pines and her being slightly less acid-tongued than Dorothy.

There are also some questionable running themes: marriage is often discussed negatively by Gary and Dorothy in a way that maybe was meant to feel modern because she wants it no more than he does, but they do end up almost marrying and later having a baby and you don’t get the feeling that either of them really wanted to (they were just out of any other options). The women as killjoys theme has been discussed and is weaved into the very fabric of the show, whilst the men act like teenagers and avoid the women’s attempts to spoil their fun. There is also a really unpalatable theme about very young girls being fair game throughout the show... Gary makes reference to his desire to shag his 17yo niece several times, at one point saying that she has “buttocks like a racehorse”. Watching it, me and my husband literally shouted “Christ no!” in unison. So bad!

We were also shocked at how much the characters drink and smoke. Culturally the world seems hugely different to now, much more different to how I remember it. Drinking and smoking is done constantly and without question. We also have a good laugh and how rich these characters are. Both Gary and Deborah are 30/31/32ish at the start of the series and both own the 2 bed flats that they live in (that seem to be a conversion of an older house). They live in Ealing and such a flat there now would cost circa £500k. No conceivable way that a middle manager of a security firm and a restaurant manager (which is Deborahs job) would be able to get mortgages, alone, on these properties now.

So my question is this- for someone who was a child and then a teenager throughout the run of this show... were things really this different? It looks like a different world to the one we are in now to the extent that it’s hard to believe it was only 30 odd years ago.

Is this how people felt in the 90s when repeats of beloved 60s and 70s sitcoms were shown? Will we feel like this about the big sitcoms of the teenies like The Inbetweeners, Him and Her, Friday Night Dinner and People Just Do Nothing? Or was this show actually really horrible at the time, I just didn’t notice because I was so young?

OP posts:
storminasnowglobe · 02/01/2021 20:35

I worked in TV back then and Men Behaving Badly was one of the shows I worked on Grin. It was definitely "of its time" and during the 90s was hugely, hugely successful - there was all sorts of related merchandising which was a big money spinner and the format was even sold to the USA (although the US version was, somewhat predictably, a huge flop). The writer, Simon Nye, was a lovely bloke and all the cast were great fun. I loved attending the rehearsals that took place in a church hall off Kensington High Street and I think every member of my family was part of the "live studio audience" on recording days at some point! Happy days indeed, although I probably wouldn't watch a rerun now as I'd probably be horrified Grin

Doingmybest4u · 02/01/2021 20:38

Funny this should come up. I’ve started to watch The Holiday (2006?) and Entrapment (1999) over Christmas (both previously beloved but not watched for a few years). I was so shocked by the portrayal of the whiny, rather pathetic women who are paraded around in sexy outfits, and constant gratuitous body shots that I switched both off in the first half hour. I was a bit sad about it really (from a pure movie-indulgence perspective) but massively heartened that maybe (just maybe) the narrative around women has moved on a touch.

BackforGood · 02/01/2021 20:41

Almost all comedy is of its time and doesn't age particularly well. I enjoyed it at the time but can't imagine watching it now. Ditto almost every other comedy of the same era. You should try 1970s comedy for a real eye opener though!

This x 100%
Carry On Films were funny in the 60s / early 70s
Men Behaving Badly was funny at the time (I would have been 27/ 28 when it started).
I agree with pp about 'Butterflies' - it was great when it came out, but doesn't date well.
A week or two ago someone on here started a thread to try and discredit Only Fools and Horses (she was actually shouted down).

I actually caught a sketch from one of The Two Ronnies' shows the other day - completely respectable, wholesome, family humour at the time, but I winced a bit at some of even that.

I'm pretty sure that today's comedy won't be funny in 30 years time.

Very little humour stands being carried forward even a decade, let alone 3.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

invisibleoldwoman · 02/01/2021 20:54

My sister and I used to love a series called The Likely Lads 1964-1966 we were very young teens. A few years ago I saw an episode and was shocked at the behaviours and attitudes considered acceptable. In particular the sexism/misogyny.

Can’t believe we thought it was funny. I saw a bit of MBB but by that time the male characters just annoyed me.

Maybe these things appeal to a certain age group and then we grow out of them. At least, the women do. Not sure about a lot of men.

PetertheWalrus · 02/01/2021 21:01

The scripts of Men Behaving Badly have not aged well, I admit but the acting of all parts (inc Gary's office staff and the guv'nors at the local) not just the main four characters was first rate. Game On was dire at the time and worse now.

MrsKramer · 02/01/2021 21:13

The thing is, MBB was always a bit shit. Seinfeld, on the other hand, has aged like a fine wine (but then I'm biasedSmile).

maddiemookins16mum · 02/01/2021 21:13

I always thought they were a bit old to be acting like Students.

maadlady · 02/01/2021 21:19

@GreenWheat

Almost all comedy is of its time and doesn't age particularly well. I enjoyed it at the time but can't imagine watching it now. Ditto almost every other comedy of the same era. You should try 1970s comedy for a real eye opener though!
Yes. On The Buses Confused
Landlubber2019 · 02/01/2021 21:23

I was early 20s in 1992 and hated MBB, awful show and never understood why it was as popular or why it's been repeated... I just didn't find it funny but I always felt I was in the minority

Honeyroar · 02/01/2021 21:30

A lot of sitcoms were dreadful then though. I agree with a previous poster - I saw an episode of Butterflies recently too, and not only was the mother treated dreadfully but the affair is romanticised, which bugs me. Another show that glorifies affairs was Duty Free. Really sitcoms have been pretty offensive for years.

Franticbutterfly · 02/01/2021 21:30

Crap then, crap now. My DH and MIL love it, I've never got it.

VaggieMight · 02/01/2021 22:29

I was a teenager when this was on and I liked it but the characters were largely cringe. I thought at the time that Gary and Dorothy had a horrible relationship, I didn't understand why they were together - as a teenager I assumed it was desperation (very mean I know). The two male characters were out of touch idiots, I think they went to a rave and got pissed. I did watch some episodes recently and was quite shocked, but it is called MBB, it's over 25 years old now and it wasn't PC even then.

Clawdy · 02/01/2021 23:04

Benny Hill's comedy shows were always a bit silly and sexist, but I remember Ben Elton once saying how awful the closing credits were, with a middle aged man chasing women round a park. Later he apologised, because the scene actually showed the women were chasing the man, who looked terrified!

Puppylucky · 02/01/2021 23:21

I thought that Gary did really love Dorothy even if she wasn't always that keen on him. The episode where Dorothy sleeps with Gary has a really sweet denouement where Gary forgives her and they get back together.

Aahotep · 02/01/2021 23:28

@Clawdy
Yes but Benny Hill was still awful though.
Even at the time plenty of people didn't like his comedy

DressingGownofDoom · 02/01/2021 23:48

Aw I loved MBB. Watched it probably before I really understood the jokes as I was young like you OP. I was always really fond of the 'bed' episode and rewatched it loads of times! I still like all the actors especially Martin Clunes.

You know what's actually quite funny from the same era. Keeping up Appearances!

IjustbelieveinMe · 02/01/2021 23:58

@TartanLassie

Anyone remember Girls on Top? With Ruby Wx, now I loved that at the time.

Wonder if that has aged?

I have this on DVD I will have a watch and let you know! I remember at the time it was brilliant and quoted from it throughout my yoof.
TheLevyEyebrowsFancIub · 03/01/2021 00:01

The Inbetweeners only ten years old but has already aged badly (Jay is meant to be all talk but inexperienced but nonetheless clunge etc jars, as does a lot of the homophobic material). The films were successful a few years back but by the time of the reunion chat shitshow last year, not sure how funny the joke was anymore?

TakemedowntoPotatoCity · 03/01/2021 00:19

Laddism was rife in the 90's. Lads mags everywhere. This show was a product of its time. I haven't seen it since its first run but expect I would find it pathetic and misogynistic now.

RosesforMama · 03/01/2021 00:20

I think the point of MBB is that they were ridiculous idiots. You were kind of laughing at them whilst also understanding them - Tony with his unrequited no chance puppy like adoration of Deborah and Gary reckoning he could do better than Dorothy but being all talk and no action. Haven't watched it for many years mind you.

Shows what genius Father Ted was that it still makes me laugh my socks off.

LilQueenie · 03/01/2021 01:07

dermot? don't you mean Tony?

LocaNel · 03/01/2021 01:15

One of the many reasons I relish Frasier so much is that it's barely aged at all. Started roughly the same era as MBB yet the characters and situations still ring true.....(even if the technology looks straight out the ark!)
Very clever, witty writing. Top notch timing and acting. Definitely still stands the test of time!

Scbchl · 03/01/2021 01:22

I'm 35 and watched it and remember even back then thinking it was a load of shite and the guys were pricks.

DodoApplet · 03/01/2021 01:22

I recently tried watching an episode of “Doctor in the House”, of which I have fond memories from the early 1970s - and wasn’t able to finish it: it was that cringeworthy. Most comedy only works in the context of its time, although there are a few exceptions, usually because they are so surreal they’re effectively devoid of context (I’m thinking of “Monty Python and the Holy Grail” as an example), but not always: most episodes of “Steptoe and Son” seem still to work for me, but maybe that’s because they revolve around a specific type of interpersonal relationship that’s timeless - that of a father and son trapped together by circumstances, and driving each other round the bend in consequence.

grassisjeweled · 03/01/2021 01:25

Just can't get over the length of the op 🤯