Ode to my Shark Vacuum cleaner - how do I hate thee? Let me count the ways

[Belleende]

Is it because you block every time I use you. EVERY SINGLE TIME.

Is it because even after spending 20 minutes unblocking you, then vacuuming after, you block again and spew everything out all over the floor the moment I switch you off, and I then have to do the unblocking rigmarole all over again.

Is it because you block not in one place but in three places, which can take multiple implements and 20 minutes to unblock.

Is it because the brushes are so harsh they have considerably hastened the need to replace the hall and stairs carpet.

Do not do what I did last year on a mumsnet recommendation and get one in the sales, I nearly launched ours out my bedroom window this afternoon.

I love my Shark!!!!

I'm almost a qualified Dyson engineer now.
I'm sad about the Shark I am almost ready to buy it!
Really though I just hate vacuuming.

@pictish love this! Describes the two hoovers perfectly.

"Shark: I don’t know, it’s all too much, I feel faint, I need a lie down.
Henry: Hold my beer..."

I love my Shark. I've had one for three years now and it's never blocked. My Dysons blocked constantly.

I hate my shark, we got the anti hair wrap lift away version. I have to admit it is very good at picking stuff up. But mine is a nasty ass bastard, the amount of times the thing has fallen on my legs or feet and it bloody hurts. If you take the wand out it just falls over instantly, damaging either you or the paintwork.

I much preferred my old dyson.

Love my shark too but I have the anti hair wrap one and it's been good

Bought a (cordless) Shark to replace my old Sebo after reading threads on here raving about them.
I swear it has a demonic spirit inside which laughs as it whirrs around ignoring all the dirt, shining its shitty little lights on everything it refuses to pick up. Every now and then it falls apart in my hands as if to say ‘fuck you, loser!’ I can’t even say it’s style over substance as it looks like a carpet sweeper from 1953.
Piece of shit.

yep recently bought one it was great the first i used (apart from emptying the tiny bin bit many times) but then all the same issues as PP have said.

I fucking hate that I wasted so much money on the useless lazy bastard.

after a couple of months went and bought a Henry.

I bought mine after reading a Mumsnet Recommended thread. To be honest everything I've bought that's been recommended by MN has been shit. Is it all your fault?

I hate our cordless anti hair wrap Shark. I couldn't work out if it was faulty or just shit. DH bought and old Dyson off ebay and we use that instead for most things. Shark can just about cope with sofas and stairs. So dissapointed.

Whoever said Sharks just want show home conditions is correct.
It’s not a hoover for family home with pets and general rubble everywhere.
Shark: I don’t know, it’s all too much, I feel faint, I need a lie down.
Henry: Hold my beer...

Absolutely this.

I was going to replace my dyson cordless v6 with a shark. Maybe I’ll get a v10 instead.

I can't believe our cost 550 not in sale and 350 in sale.
It's the pet and anti hair wrap one.

Anti hair wrap my arse.
It's a disgrace and all our cleaners have (rightly) refused to use it.

My DH still refuses to part with it

I got a shark anti hair wrap type just before Christmas. Highly disappointed. It’s shite. Forever blocking and it’s so heavy. I thought my old Dyson was shit but I wish I’d just bought a newer one. Much lighter and really picked up from the edges. My new shark doesn’t get the edges well.

This was not the thread for me to see, given I literally ordered my first Shark hoover 12 hours ago 🤣🤦🏻‍♀️

Send it back mumma.
It’s more needy than a toddler on its worse day. You’ll be a slave, Mark my words,pandering to its ever changing needs.

Or you'll be completely happy with it. 🤷🏻‍♀️ There seems to be no way of telling which it will be though!

I am beginning to dislike mine and I’ve not even finished paying it off

Our Shark is a cunt. It waits, looks at you, then spits out all the bits of grit in the most inconvenient place.

It goes on strike if it encounters hair, but show it an electrical cable and it will have a right good go.

And it needs emptying every ten minutes. Not just the chamber, needs the whole pipe cleaning out.

Wanker.

I don't think my house would be described as a show home by even the most loyal friend and I haven't had the problems described.

What do pp mean by rubble? I did keep my old hover to plug into the sander and hoover up brick dust and the like because it doesn't matter if it gets trashed by the really fine dust from them. I wouldn't use my shark for that kind of thing.

I had the Dyson pet cordless, except it couldn't cope with long haired cats!

I have found my people! FS (fucking shark as it's not affectionately known as) can't last 5 minutes before either blocking or deciding it's overheated. I believed the hype...did my research and now can't believe I spent so much money on something that just moves dirt around my floor like it's trying to complete a mosaic. I tried to get a refund but Amazon sent me to back to Shark and Shark sent me back to Amazon.

I think the 5 star reviewers are bitter harridans - they know it's crap but they want company in their vacuum misery.

As soon as I can afford it I'm getting a Harry - FS can leave as soon as possible. I'd sell the bloody thing but I can't in all conscience pass the disappointment onto anyone else.

I think the 5 star reviewers are bitter harridans - they know it's crap but they want company in their vacuum misery.

Or they are like the people on this thread who have had no problems 🤷🏻‍♀️

Whaaaaat??! All I've heard for the last few years is people raving about how amazing Sharks are, way better than Dysons!

Our Dyson handheld was on its way out after years of service, so we bought a shark yesterday. Feeling a bit nervous now! Seems good so far, fingers crossed it doesn't turn into an expensive mistake!

I'm with you. I hate mine.

Constant gets blocked, can't handle much at all. I feel like if it sucks up anything bigger than a crumb it gets blocked.

Then it spits out all the bits at me if it's lifted or when I turn it off. I ducking HATE IT.

It's mutual.