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Original poster

DS saw me and DH in the bath together

177 replies

CharDee · 29/12/2020 18:02

DS was fast asleep last night and I decided to have a glass of wine and watch something in the bath. Dh came up to refill my glass after a little while and then he got in with me (I emptied most of the water out and filled it up again).!

Anyway, we were sat with wine last night just talking about plans for the next few days when DS walked in. DH was sat behind me and I was leaning back on him. DS asked what we were doing and DH just said having a relax in the bath. He came over to the bath and asked if he could have a bath with that many bubbles next time. We said he could, he went to the toilet and then back to bed. Didn't think any more of it.

Today we were talking to my sister on FaceTime and DS said to her that he was getting a bath with as many bubbles as mummy and daddy had when he saw us in the bath last night. Later my sister told me that it was really irresponsible and inappropriate for DS to have seen us like that and that it might cause problems later on. She couldn't explain what exactly it was that made it irresponsible though.

I just laughed at her and said he was fine, didn't actually see anything anyway apart from us just having a bit of a cuddle together.

I told DH and he said he feels a bit awkward about others knowing we were in the bath together but can't explain why.

I don't see the problem with it at all and all DS was bothered about was the number of bubbles we had! He would usually be asleep all night and wouldn't have even have known we were in there.

Does anybody else do this or can anyone tell me what is actually wrong with doing this?!

OP posts:
NataliaOsipova · 29/12/2020 20:56

My son once wrote in his "newsbook" at school "my mum went out for her birthday and was ill afterwards" accompanied by a drawing of me lying down on the sofa with a bucket.

😂😂😂

@SmileyClare .....and is the teacher still giving you the side eye...?

HeyMicky · 29/12/2020 20:58

Oh, and it's especially important to normalise affectionate touching, and sensual contact that's not related to sex, for boys. They'll see enough porn in their life - skin to skin contact with no sexual demand is crucial to demonstrate

SmileyClare · 29/12/2020 21:04

Yes Natalia I only noticed his news book entry waiting to see his teacher for parent consultation. Blush I started leafing through it in a cold sweat to see what other incriminating evidence was in there.

Also agree with the above comment about normalising affection etc. I'd rather my son grew up knowing what mum and dad look like naked rather than basing his first encounters of nakedness on the awful waxed to within an inch of their life, cosmetically enhanced examples on the internet when hes older.

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Families
PeachesBright · 29/12/2020 21:06

Absolutely nothing wrong with this at all. Your sister is being weird. Probably jealous like many other PPs have suggested

Divebar · 29/12/2020 21:23

If nothing could be seen

By which do you mean body parts? There’s nothing wrong if he had seen boobs or genitals - we all have bodies. I used to teach safeguarding re child protection and I can remember odd occasions when individuals really felt that a child seeing a naked parent was of concern or weird. The other thing I found strange was they really, really had no idea that other families were relaxed about nudity. They really thought their views were the norm.

diddl · 29/12/2020 21:23

"He did walk in on us once when he was 3 and just asked what we were looking for..."

Oh that is hilarious!

"DH distracted him as he didn't want MiL hearing about our bath"

That's quite sad really isn't it?

I mean it's not as if it would be the two of you boasting about how close you still are.

Unless she would make lewd remarks!

annonxx · 29/12/2020 21:25

@wetasstenalady

I'm jealous you can both fit in the bath without it coming through the ceiling
😂😂😂 I feel this
DukeOfEarlGrey · 29/12/2020 21:42

Totally fine and healthy. He didn’t witness anything inappropriate.

BUT YABU not to give a better description of this unusually shaped bath - I can’t picture it!

ReindeersAhoy · 29/12/2020 21:55

I think we need a picture of the bath!
Sounds normal to me.
As @starlightlady said upthread, at least you didn't spill you wine in the bath.

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 29/12/2020 22:08

My concern would be that the hot water would take the chill off the white wine, but if you were drinking red, that would be fine.
Champagne would, of course, be just decadent. Wink

Bagelsandbrie · 29/12/2020 22:23

Absolutely fine to me! Can’t believe people get so weird about this stuff.

Original poster
CharDee · 29/12/2020 22:28

I am AWFUL at drawing but I have attempted to draw a picture of the bath. With me sat in between DH's legs. I've never seen a bath this shape before but I think it was custom made maybe. The shower in the bathroom is also a big size and weird shape and you can comfortably fit 4 people in there, all of whom can hold a glass and drink at the same time. This was tried on our housewarming. And I'm just thinking now that maybe the previous owners were swingers or something Shock

I hope I'm never in need of help on a parking thread because I'd get flamed for my diagrams Grin

DS saw me and DH in the bath together
OP posts:
Jobsharenightmare · 29/12/2020 22:29

I don't even see the issue even if your son was 12 or 15, you weren't having sex (even so it's not the end of the world to be accidentally caught in the night by a teenager) so all your son saw was his parents spend time together.

I think your sister is jealous.

Original poster
CharDee · 29/12/2020 22:30

And I was drinking prosecco and DH was amazing and brought the rest of the bottle up in a chilled bucket

OP posts:
SmileyClare · 29/12/2020 22:31

Fuck knows what that diagram is but you both look extremely happy Grin

dappledsunshine · 29/12/2020 22:35

Amazing diagram!

I'm jealous, dh and I would never fit in the bath together 🙄

Sewrainbow · 29/12/2020 23:01

Of course it's not inappropriate!

In Darling Buds of May, ma and pa always had a bath together (whilst eating a fry up!) And that was shown on tv early Sunday evenings.

LindyLou2020 · 29/12/2020 23:25

CharDee - I was determined not to be as prudish with my kids as my parents were with me, (different era, to be fair to them).
I wanted them to be comfortable around human bodies and nudity, so, until it became inappropriate due to their age, Hubby and/or I used to have baths with them, (except they made us have the tap end!), and I let them be with me when I was getting dressed/undressed, rather than shoo them out of my bedroom, if they needed to know where I was. I also got to play with their toy boats, etc, so a win-win!
You have nothing to be embarrassed about at all!

bluessinger · 29/12/2020 23:30

do you do prints for my gallery wall?

HeyMicky · 29/12/2020 23:33

Aw, look at your smiley bath faces.

But how do you know 4 people fit in the shower? With glasses?

popsydoodle4444 · 29/12/2020 23:39

How lovely and intimate is that?,just a loving couple chilling together in the bath chatting about the future.

Isn't it often par for the course when you've got young kids they just randomly walk in and go toilet?,My friend who is childless once had my then 2 year daughter walk into the bathroom when she was peeing during a visit to my home and my daughter promptly said "hello" before plonking herself on the potty,peeing in it and walking back out the room.We all about peed ourselves laughing at that when my friend told us 😂

Your sister is being melodramatic,ignore her.

DukeOfEarlGrey · 29/12/2020 23:39

@CharDee

I am AWFUL at drawing but I have attempted to draw a picture of the bath. With me sat in between DH's legs. I've never seen a bath this shape before but I think it was custom made maybe. The shower in the bathroom is also a big size and weird shape and you can comfortably fit 4 people in there, all of whom can hold a glass and drink at the same time. This was tried on our housewarming. And I'm just thinking now that maybe the previous owners were swingers or something Shock

I hope I'm never in need of help on a parking thread because I'd get flamed for my diagrams Grin

Ha! Much clearer now, thanks OP Grin
Honeyroar · 29/12/2020 23:41

Love that pic! Your household sounds very relaxed and happy. Your sister not so much! It’s great for your son to see you guys chilling together in the bath.

Original poster
CharDee · 29/12/2020 23:48

@HeyMicky at our housewarming party- remember parties and having friends over?!- we were doing a tour of the house and one friend asked how many people could fit in the shower so we got 4 in there whilst they were still holding their drinks and drinking them, so maybe we could have 5 in there at once? The shower in other en-suite can comfortably fit 2 and I know that for sure Wink
I asked DH before if he thinks that the house was designed for swingers or sex parties and he said he assumed so from day one.

OP posts:
Ilovesandwiches · 30/12/2020 00:31

Nothing wrong with that at all- can’t see how it will cause issues for your child down the line and to be honest it’s not really anyone else’s business what you and your partner choose to do in your own home! It’s one of those things at the end of the day and your son doesn’t seem overly phased, just a bit jealous of how many bubbles you got Grin you won’t have been the first or the last set of parents for this to happen with!,

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