DS saw me and DH in the bath together

[CharDee]

DS was fast asleep last night and I decided to have a glass of wine and watch something in the bath. Dh came up to refill my glass after a little while and then he got in with me (I emptied most of the water out and filled it up again).!

Anyway, we were sat with wine last night just talking about plans for the next few days when DS walked in. DH was sat behind me and I was leaning back on him. DS asked what we were doing and DH just said having a relax in the bath. He came over to the bath and asked if he could have a bath with that many bubbles next time. We said he could, he went to the toilet and then back to bed. Didn't think any more of it.

Today we were talking to my sister on FaceTime and DS said to her that he was getting a bath with as many bubbles as mummy and daddy had when he saw us in the bath last night. Later my sister told me that it was really irresponsible and inappropriate for DS to have seen us like that and that it might cause problems later on. She couldn't explain what exactly it was that made it irresponsible though.

I just laughed at her and said he was fine, didn't actually see anything anyway apart from us just having a bit of a cuddle together.

I told DH and he said he feels a bit awkward about others knowing we were in the bath together but can't explain why.

I don't see the problem with it at all and all DS was bothered about was the number of bubbles we had! He would usually be asleep all night and wouldn't have even have known we were in there.

Does anybody else do this or can anyone tell me what is actually wrong with doing this?!

It's totally fine - and positive for DS to see mum & dad having affectionate time together.

Haha to be fair I had cracked open a new bath set I'd got for Christmas. I usually don't have that many bubbles. I've left the matey on the side for DS to use and said he can pour it in himself!

I'm glad others see that there's nothing wrong. We were literally just sat there talking, maybe DH had his arm around me, I can't remember.

We have a big bath and used to get baths together all the time where we'd just have a chat or drink and watch something. On the rare occasions things got a bit heated we'd usually move to the bedroom anyway!

My niece moved in with us last year and we stopped it if she was home because we didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable.

DH has just reminded me that my sister has in the last been weird about us or others and PDA. We're hardly all over each other but if we would hold hands, he'd put his arm round me, kiss on the head etc. She would say that we need to keep it to ourselves. So maybe it's just her!

@triceratops12

I personally think it's not appropriate but I am a bit of a prude

It's not like op invited DS in, and of they'd jumped up he'd have seen more than bubbles.

It might cause problems later on what problems is she envisaging your son having? I can't think of any.

It’s fine of course.

Could your sister be jealous?! (Of your happy marriage I mean, not your husband)

Also DS is 5

Also DS is 5

Huzzah! Not 15

I can't see the problem, it's a shame your DS decided to tell his Aunt all about it on the Facetime call though, and it's understandable your DH wasn't happy with the oversharing but I assume your DS is quite young?

What size bath have you got? would love to do this ours is tiny

Yeah my 5 yo would totally overshadow this too, asking the lines of the last day when Mom and Dad were sitting in the bath together and there were lots of bubbles and I never get that many bubbles but mom said I can have that many bubbles next time but Dad isn't allowed in

Nothing wrong with this at all, I think an attitude like hers would be more likely to cause issues later in life than to see mummy and daddy in a bath together at 5 tbh

Why is it a problem if the DS is 13? DH and I often have a bath together and all of our kids have popped into the bathroom at some point. Oldest is 18, youngest 5. I don’t see the problem. We aren’t naturists by any stretch but have always been comfortable with nudity. The older boys tend to avoid being naked around us or the younger kids now but will still happily barge into the bathroom when I’m in the bath/on the loo/in the shower or into my room when I’m getting dressed.

If schools were in he'd probably be telling the teacher/whole class about it...

There’s nothing wrong with this at all! Your bath sounds lovely and I’m jealous

I think it's fine - I always knew my parents had a bath together - we used to joke it was the boardroom as they most likely debated all family
Matters in there! I still think it's cute and actually wish my DH would take baths with me 🤣

At 5 my dd would still hop in with her dad given a chance (we stopped it by 7 ish but she would moan it wasn't fair) to my knowledge neither the kids ever saw us in the bath together but it was quite common to do it. Alas since marriage implosion moving, meeting an amazing dp etc not been possible as bath is too small and new builds have compact bathrooms

Why is it a problem if the DS is 13?

I guess for me anyway, the difference is that a 5 year old doesn't know the sexualisation of bodies or the context involved, whereas a teenager would (plus all of the burgeoning puberty stuff).

Plus anyway, teenagers should be able to buy their own bubbles

She’s has issues!

Kids do overshare. I’m sure teachers are quite used to it.

Is your sister single?

Completely fine. Even if he had stumbled in on you doing something he wouldn’t have known what was going on and wouldn’t be at all scarred. If you were just bathing together why is that weird? Unfortunate he mentioned it to someone else but has it never crossed her mind that couples might share a bath? Admittedly DH and I only do once in a blue moon and it is for romantic times so maybe she just assumes you were definitely doing something in there, not just chilling?

Unless ds is 23 or something this is fine. Your sister sounds a bit repressed.

Not a problem at all. Don’t think it matters what age he is (if you’re just sitting in the bath and not pawing each other). Thinking about it, I was in the (massive) bath the other day and DH asked if he could get in. My DD (who is 11) came in to ask me something and we all had a little chat about what we might have for lunch. No big deal to her - we were just getting clean at the same time. Your sister sounds to me to be the one who is odd.

Nothing wrong at all OP, aside from that I am now jealous of your big enough bath (or small enough bodies)

I can't come up with even a single thing that could 'harm' your DS about seeing his loving parents have a cuddle & a chat together. Aside from the bubble bath outrage, of course!

The bath time antics were shared as my niece said she had just washed her hair so DS was excited to tell her of this magical bath full of bubbles that he's saw mummy and daddy in last night and that he was also going to wash his hair in the bath with lots of bubbles.

I feel a bit weird telling people we were in the bath together as it is a bit private so I can see why DH is embarrassed.

Honestly our bath is huge and an odd shape. We are so lucky. It was one of the reasons we bought the house. We can get in it sitting one in front of the other, sitting at opposite ends, sitting sort of side by side but with our feet sticking out and sit sort of L shaped with one person putting their legs over the others. So really, the bath wants us to get in together!