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Original poster

DS saw me and DH in the bath together

177 replies

CharDee · 29/12/2020 18:02

DS was fast asleep last night and I decided to have a glass of wine and watch something in the bath. Dh came up to refill my glass after a little while and then he got in with me (I emptied most of the water out and filled it up again).!

Anyway, we were sat with wine last night just talking about plans for the next few days when DS walked in. DH was sat behind me and I was leaning back on him. DS asked what we were doing and DH just said having a relax in the bath. He came over to the bath and asked if he could have a bath with that many bubbles next time. We said he could, he went to the toilet and then back to bed. Didn't think any more of it.

Today we were talking to my sister on FaceTime and DS said to her that he was getting a bath with as many bubbles as mummy and daddy had when he saw us in the bath last night. Later my sister told me that it was really irresponsible and inappropriate for DS to have seen us like that and that it might cause problems later on. She couldn't explain what exactly it was that made it irresponsible though.

I just laughed at her and said he was fine, didn't actually see anything anyway apart from us just having a bit of a cuddle together.

I told DH and he said he feels a bit awkward about others knowing we were in the bath together but can't explain why.

I don't see the problem with it at all and all DS was bothered about was the number of bubbles we had! He would usually be asleep all night and wouldn't have even have known we were in there.

Does anybody else do this or can anyone tell me what is actually wrong with doing this?!

OP posts:
iklboo · 29/12/2020 18:46

She'd hate us. We walk round in the nud a lot of the time.

Viviennemary · 29/12/2020 18:48

Oh yuck. Why would adults want to do that.

SynchroSwimmer · 29/12/2020 18:48

I honestly think that’s lovely!

When he goes back to school will he remember to write it in his News Book for teacher to see do you think? 😂

It’s genuinely lovely though.

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UsernameSpoosername · 29/12/2020 18:49

God sharing a bath with my OH sounds like stuff of actual nightmares.

But no, YANBU.

isupposeitsverynice · 29/12/2020 18:49

truly this is fine - my actual 13yo has no concern about coming in to tell super exciting fortnite stories while we're in the bath and dh isn't even his real dad. he'll stop soon i'm sure but no your sister is a loon

unicornparty · 29/12/2020 18:49

I'd feel the same as your sister but see that I'm in the minority Grin

Mydogmylife · 29/12/2020 18:50

@triceratops12

I personally think it's not appropriate but I am a bit of a prude
Why? Genuine question, not being goady . From the op's post there was nothing happening in the bath, both parents just soaking in the bubbles chatting, DS didn't react at all other than to comment on his perception of the unfair allocation of bubbles in his bath , surely good for him to see affection between his parents. I'm really not sure where op's sister is coming from, she seems to have a rather worrying attitude to fairly normal family interaction
Lindy2 · 29/12/2020 18:51

Your son is experiencing life in a secure and loving family. That's a good thing. He didn't witness anything too adult just his parents being close and caring with each other.

It's no problem at all and I expect he will love having lots of bubbles.

pringlebells · 29/12/2020 18:52

I wish my DH would relax in the bath with me! He hates baths

Sounds fine to me though

Doingmybest4u · 29/12/2020 18:53

Nothing wrong with it or weird about it. Only thing that would make it weird was a reaction like your sister’s. I think it supports positive messages about bodies, sharing them appropriately etc.

AliceMcK · 29/12/2020 18:59

I don’t see any problem at all. Lots of couples take baths together, I would if my arse wasn’t too big for my DH to wrap his legs around.

SmileyClare · 29/12/2020 18:59

I think it's quite important for children to grow up knowing nudity in the family home isn't a shameful thing. We all have bodies of all shapes, sizes and varying hairyness!

My husband grew up with lots of sisters and is completely relaxed about periods for example. He'll happily buy Tampax for me and won't recoil in horror if I talk about women's problems.

Knickerthief1 · 29/12/2020 19:00

Me and my husband always hopped in the bath together at the weekend (before we got a decent shower). Kids used to wander in and out and talk to us etc. They're 16 and 13 now and I'm happy to report they have no long term problems as a result Grin

2BDIs · 29/12/2020 19:01

From the way you have expressed the way your child speaks he sounds quite young. It also seems that your son wasn't upset or bothered by what he saw.
Your sister needs to get over herself and stop being such prude.
As long as your husband wasn't touching you etc whilst your son was in the bathroom I can't see what the problem was.

Billben · 29/12/2020 19:03

I see no issues with what you’ve done. I wish more children grew up in households where showing affection isn’t taboo.

dementedma · 29/12/2020 19:05

Cant think of anything worse than shaing a bath with dh, even if the bath was big enough. Each to their own

emmetgirl · 29/12/2020 19:06

Sounds perfectly normal to me.

TurquoiseDragon · 29/12/2020 19:06

@triceratops12

I personally think it's not appropriate but I am a bit of a prude
If nothing could be seen, and all DS saw was his parents sitting together in the water chatting away with a drink, then there's nothing inappropriate going on. Treating it as nothing to worry about when DS came in means he won't really remember much (apart from the bubbles issue Grin ).
Salcara · 29/12/2020 19:07

I walked in on my parents shagging, and several years later, on my mother shagging her BF (on the couch... so it was her choice of venue, not my failure to observe boundaries).

I promise that any aspects of my personality that might be weird/odd/ unhinged /unusual etc are not related to those instances and most definitely related to my patents rather shit parenting skills.

Your DS will be fine Grin

CrackALack · 29/12/2020 19:08

Nothing wrong with that at all!

I once had to use my dad's old phone that he'd accidentally forgotten to wipe the data on. I briefly saw some of the text messages he'd sent my mum about their showers together before I threw the phone down in horror, I was about 16. Now THAT was scarring 😂

But no seriously, nothing wrong at all.

TeachesOfPeaches · 29/12/2020 19:10

My son is 5 and he loves to get in the bath with me

WhatKatyDidNxt · 29/12/2020 19:10

Nothing wrong with it. Your sister is the odd one. Impressed she had the balls to mention it to you, with it being in your house and none of her business

SleepingStandingUp · 29/12/2020 19:11

@Viviennemary

Oh yuck. Why would adults want to do that.
Yes, absolutely, affection between a man and wife? down with it I say!!
ZippedyDooDa · 29/12/2020 19:12

Your sister is off her rocker.

Whatisthepoint10 · 29/12/2020 19:13

She doesn't have children, does she? For people with no real-life experience, it's hard to understand. Little do they know how mothers can't go to the toilet in private for years lol
If she does have children, it's such a weird attitude that people have to be ashamed of something like this. Nothing inappropriate happened.

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