DS saw me and DH in the bath together

[CharDee]

DS was fast asleep last night and I decided to have a glass of wine and watch something in the bath. Dh came up to refill my glass after a little while and then he got in with me (I emptied most of the water out and filled it up again).!

Anyway, we were sat with wine last night just talking about plans for the next few days when DS walked in. DH was sat behind me and I was leaning back on him. DS asked what we were doing and DH just said having a relax in the bath. He came over to the bath and asked if he could have a bath with that many bubbles next time. We said he could, he went to the toilet and then back to bed. Didn't think any more of it.

Today we were talking to my sister on FaceTime and DS said to her that he was getting a bath with as many bubbles as mummy and daddy had when he saw us in the bath last night. Later my sister told me that it was really irresponsible and inappropriate for DS to have seen us like that and that it might cause problems later on. She couldn't explain what exactly it was that made it irresponsible though.

I just laughed at her and said he was fine, didn't actually see anything anyway apart from us just having a bit of a cuddle together.

I told DH and he said he feels a bit awkward about others knowing we were in the bath together but can't explain why.

I don't see the problem with it at all and all DS was bothered about was the number of bubbles we had! He would usually be asleep all night and wouldn't have even have known we were in there.

Does anybody else do this or can anyone tell me what is actually wrong with doing this?!

Non issue, and neither would I have judged you if you hadn't felt like you needed to use fresh water for him to get in, I assume after a long enough relationship to produce a walking, talking child your bodily fluids were quite used to mingling.

Not at all!
You shouldn't be too embarrassed about naked bodies in front of young children. It makes them think that it's all dirty and he should be embarrassed by his. And you went exactly having sex! I grew up in a loving household but there was very little affection shown. Like I dont think I've ever seen my parents hug, I know they love eachother a lot but they would never show affection. And I now hate PDA like with a passion and struggle to even hold my OHs hand as it makes me cringe. Affection should be normalised in a household with children imo. Are you English op? As I feel it's a very English reaction from your family Haha to be embarrassed and to shy away from affection.

Depending on the age, parents and children share baths all the time so DS probably just associates it with that. I'd be embarrassed afterwards but if DS thought nothing of it, and only commented on the rationing of bubbles then I'd be absolutely fine with it. DSis may be jealous?

My partner and I share a bath around twice a week, if my son wakes up he sometimes pops in before I’ve had time to go and sort him out. The most he sees of my partner if he wanders in is his top half, which is no different to what you see at the swimming pool.

Theres no problem with a child seeing a parent naked, if they don’t want to see it then they don’t wander into the bathroom when someones in the bath.

"(I emptied most of the water out and filled it up again)."

That struck me as the oddest thing about your post, Op.

Apart from your sister's reaction.

I can't help thinking that she thinks that your son narrowly missed seeing you "dtd".

And tell your husband to stop feeling awkward about it now!

It's absolutely fine.
Get Ds a bottle of Mr Matey.

I think it’s completely fine. My DS would have demanded we got our right enough so he could get in with lots of bubbles. But if there was no sex involved that he witnessed, I wouldn’t worry. He will have forgotten all about it in a few days.

Nothing wrong with that at all. How nice and affectionate - your DS is lucky to live in a house full of love. Your sister is weird.

And honestly I don't think it matters if there was bubble bath or not. What's wrong with nudity?

When my DS and DD were little I would often have try to have a nice relaxing bath on a Saturday morning but if they found out they would both strip off and climb in with me. When I was a teenager I often walked into the bathroom when my Mum was having a bath and my DD still does that now with me.

Nothing wrong with that.

Not surprised neither your sister or husband can explain their unease - it’s unfounded, that’s why!

Hi Op
You and your husband are good role models for your child to have.
Its just like a couple having a Jacuzzi/hot tub in a healthspa.

Nothing wrong with you and your husband having a chat and a cuddle in a bath together and your child seeing this.

(I don't think Age of the child makes a real difference either in this particular situation.

(Obviously if your child is, a teenager it would be very,Cringy embarrassing for them to see both of you together, like that.
But its still, would not scar,traumatise them,emotionally for life.

If anything its good for your child see that its perfectly normal/healthy for mum/dad to relate/show affection like this to each other.

Its not like you and your husband were shagging each other in the tub or doing anything sexual intimate to each other😂

@Sparklingbrook

If schools were in he'd probably be telling the teacher/whole class about it...

True and the teacher would be struggling not to laugh out loud! Good chat for the staffroom though. A friend and her husband were enjoying a bit of early Sunday morning horizontal jogging when they realised that a little body was standing at the side of the bed and he asked Mummy, Daddy what ARE you doing?

I'd emptied the water out because it had gone cold whilst I was in there and I filled it up with hot for DH! Also I felt that it was a bit nicer for him to get in to a fresh bath but I don't know why!

DS had a mixture of the mermaid and pirate matey in his bath tonight and was quite pleased with the amount of bubbles. He wanted to FaceTime mil and FIL after the bath but DH distracted him as he didn't want MiL hearing about our bath

Agree OP, it's fine and as another poster said examples of affection and non-sexual intimacy are important for our kids to see as what a healthy, happy relationship looks like.

And actually let's say you had been caught in the act, while mortifying, it's hardly abuse! Embarrassing things like that happen, our kids aren't generally scarred for life if it's not intentional ( I say this as someone who caught patents at it once. It's weird to think back on but let's be honest, it's still weird thinking of them at it full stop and I'm 45 now ).

I think it's totally fine. My DH and I do this all the time.
You Sis is probably jealous and would love a relationship like that or maybe she's and ice queen that doesn't like affection - either way her problem not yours.

If schools were in he'd probably be telling the teacher/whole class about it...

Which still wouldn't be an issue. Reminds me of DS's story about his hamster:

'His name is Rigby. He is cute. He's got orange fur and a great big willy'. Up on the wall for parents' evening

No problem at all, as long your bath cuddle isnt a euphemism for anything else :)

At least there is no school and hes not telling everyone. He'll soon forget at that age (assuming since he's asking for the same amount of bubbles) It's very sweet actually.

I dont know what's up with your sister!

Also we have a stair gate just outside our bedroom. DS can open it but it's there just in case we need a 5 second warning if we're "horizontal jogging" as you put it @hansgrueber

He did walk in on us once when he was 3 and just asked what we were looking for...I happened to be bent over and DH was behind me  it was late night and he hasn't wandered in to our room so we thought we'd be safe! The stair gate was installed the next morning!

As long as you didn’t spill the wine in the bath, there is no problem.

Portraying a close, loving relationship to your son? nothing in the slightest bit wrong with that AT all - your sister is bonkers, or has the wrong end of the stick. Put her straight, you weren't shagging in the bath.

How dare you deprive your poor ds of bubbles😢🤣🤣
It’s a perfectly normal thing to do, don’t take any notice of stupid people and enjoy your life.

My in laws shared a bath together on a recent joint holiday they are in their 70's. Made me chuckle nothing sexual they are tight and just like to use less water tell tour sister you are thinking of the environment.

@iklboo

If schools were in he'd probably be telling the teacher/whole class about it...

Which still wouldn't be an issue. Reminds me of DS's story about his hamster:

'His name is Rigby. He is cute. He's got orange fur and a great big willy'. Up on the wall for parents' evening

Haha that made me laugh.

My son once wrote in his "newsbook" at school "my mum went out for her birthday and was ill afterwards" accompanied by a drawing of me lying down on the sofa with a bucket.

@CharDee it's a shame your sister has spooked your DH out too - avoiding talking about it is just as bad - you did NOTHING wrong - my mom and dad are in their 70s and still stealing kisses from eachother - it's what ppl who are in love do - it's natural, it's normal and it's healthy. Have a word with DH - if DS wants to tell grandparents, so bloody what. I think it's lovely OP - keep teaching him peace, love and harmony.

My DDs came in for a chat while I was in the bath tonight. They see both me and DH naked in the shower. I generally sleep nude, DH in pants, and they happily, at 8 and 5, get into bed I the morning with us. They don't care, and it's not weird. Your SIL is being daft