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Original poster

DS saw me and DH in the bath together

177 replies

CharDee · 29/12/2020 18:02

DS was fast asleep last night and I decided to have a glass of wine and watch something in the bath. Dh came up to refill my glass after a little while and then he got in with me (I emptied most of the water out and filled it up again).!

Anyway, we were sat with wine last night just talking about plans for the next few days when DS walked in. DH was sat behind me and I was leaning back on him. DS asked what we were doing and DH just said having a relax in the bath. He came over to the bath and asked if he could have a bath with that many bubbles next time. We said he could, he went to the toilet and then back to bed. Didn't think any more of it.

Today we were talking to my sister on FaceTime and DS said to her that he was getting a bath with as many bubbles as mummy and daddy had when he saw us in the bath last night. Later my sister told me that it was really irresponsible and inappropriate for DS to have seen us like that and that it might cause problems later on. She couldn't explain what exactly it was that made it irresponsible though.

I just laughed at her and said he was fine, didn't actually see anything anyway apart from us just having a bit of a cuddle together.

I told DH and he said he feels a bit awkward about others knowing we were in the bath together but can't explain why.

I don't see the problem with it at all and all DS was bothered about was the number of bubbles we had! He would usually be asleep all night and wouldn't have even have known we were in there.

Does anybody else do this or can anyone tell me what is actually wrong with doing this?!

OP posts:

Littlefluffyclouds13 · 29/12/2020 18:23

I think it's a lovely, perfectly normal thing for your ds to see.
Ignore your sil, she's clearly got 'issues'

WhySoSensitive · 29/12/2020 18:23

I can barely fit in my bath alone so I’m just a bit jealous two of you can fit in.
A five year old is not going to be scarred from seeing parents in a bath. Jesus

RedskyAtnight · 29/12/2020 18:23

Why is it a problem if the DS is 13?

A 13 year old is more likely to have issues with seeing his parents naked than a 5 year old. If an individual 13 year old is fine with it, no problems.

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LST · 29/12/2020 18:24

Nothing whatsoever to worry about! I think the opposite actually quite healthy to see

Nohomemadecandles · 29/12/2020 18:25

Your sister is weird!

User0ne · 29/12/2020 18:25

When your Ds starts to be "grossed out" by it then it will be inappropriate (and I'm sure he'll have been taught to knock on the bathroom door before then ).

Both my DS's have seen me and DH together naked on many occasions; we dont wear PJ's and they like to come into our bed in the morning (age 2 and 4). It's a normal (but not sexual) thing in a committed relationship, why shouldn't they see it. I'm sure when they get to an age where they are bothered by it they'll stop joining us at 6am (and me and DH will be thrilled )

Sparklingbrook · 29/12/2020 18:28

I guess if you don't want anyone to see you having a bath then that's what the lock on the bathroom door is for, if not then you take your chances with a visitor popping by...

MissMarpletheMurderer · 29/12/2020 18:29

@TooTiredToBeCreative

Why is it a problem if the DS is 13? DH and I often have a bath together and all of our kids have popped into the bathroom at some point. Oldest is 18, youngest 5. I don’t see the problem. We aren’t naturists by any stretch but have always been comfortable with nudity. The older boys tend to avoid being naked around us or the younger kids now but will still happily barge into the bathroom when I’m in the bath/on the loo/in the shower or into my room when I’m getting dressed.

I agree

Nanny0gg · 29/12/2020 18:29

@CharDee

I just laughed at her and said he was fine, didn't actually see anything anyway apart from us just having a bit of a cuddle together.

I told DH and he said he feels a bit awkward about others knowing we were in the bath together but can't explain why.

I don't see the problem with it at all and all DS was bothered about was the number of bubbles we had! He would usually be asleep all night and wouldn't have even have known we were in there.

Does anybody else do this or can anyone tell me what is actually wrong with doing this?!

Seems fine to me.

But he'll never let you forget about the bubbles!

SmileyClare · 29/12/2020 18:30

Our niece moved in with us last year Is this the issue? Your sister's daughter? Perhaps she's anxious about your niece walking into the bathroom, seeing her uncle naked or something?

GreenLeafTurnip · 29/12/2020 18:30

I actually don't see a problem whatever age you DS would be. If he was 13 and barged in on you then he perhaps should have knocked first! But even if he had and you'd said some in I still don't really see a problem. And that's from someone who is currently in a loveless and sexless marriage and who came from parents who never showed any affection towards each other.

wibblewombat · 29/12/2020 18:30

I have bath envy. 😁

CherryBlossomTree7 · 29/12/2020 18:32

I don't see a problem with it. You didn't intend for your DS to see you and it doesn't sound like you were being overtly sexual. He is clearly unfazed by it.

In future, I would say lock the door, just to be on the safe side.

LindainLockdown · 29/12/2020 18:33

Obviously all your DS cares about is the amount of bubbles!
Once DS has had his bath with as many bubbles it will all be ancient history and I wouldn't give it any more thought, you have absolutely done nothing wrong.

Oly4 · 29/12/2020 18:33

Sounds lovely, how nice for your son to just ask about the bubble bath.
Nothing wrong with this scenario at all.
Your sister is being ridiculous

Original poster

CharDee · 29/12/2020 18:33

Our bathroom door doesn't have a lock at the moment so DS was able to just wander on in. Had it have been locked he would have been able to go to our en-suite which just has a shower in

My niece has her own bathroom in her little granny flat downstairs so even if she was home she wouldn't have needed to come up to that bathroom

Replacing the lock is on the to do list and has been for the last 6 months!

OP posts:

VinylDetective · 29/12/2020 18:33

Your sister’s a prude.

Tal45 · 29/12/2020 18:34

Sounds like your sister is the one with issues if she thinks any signs of affection 'should be kept to yourselves' or that there's something wrong or dirty about little kids seeing you in the bath or shower. I think it's her kids that are likely to grow up feeling ashamed of their bodies and repressed!

JohnMiddleNameRedactedSwanson · 29/12/2020 18:36

This is very much your sister’s issue.

DreadingSeason2020sFinale · 29/12/2020 18:39

Huh? I don't get it. What's wrong with a child seeing his parents having a bath together? I remember having baths with DH and our kids (not all at once, it's a normal size bath) and it's perfectly normal for our kids to pop in and out of the bathroom if DH or I are bathing. Sadly I've piled on a few pounds since my kids were little so it's one adult per bath now.

Says more about your sister than you I'm afraid. Who's mind goes there?!

Original poster

CharDee · 29/12/2020 18:40

@SmileyClare

Our niece moved in with us last year Is this the issue? Your sister's daughter? Perhaps she's anxious about your niece walking into the bathroom, seeing her uncle naked or something?

I did think of that but she has her own space. It's like a little granny flat attached to the house with her own bathroom and shower. If she was home and wanted to come up to the bathroom she would have seen the door closed and knocked.

We all know to leave that door open when we leave the bathroom and close it if in use and have got used to this while we get round to fixing the lock!

My sister is married, happily as far as I know. But she has never been a fan of affection. I think I've maybe hugged her 5 times in the last 15 years. She cuddles DS all the time and her children just not other adults. I am a hugger though and always give hugs to my parents when I see them and other adults (only if they are huggers too!) She also doesn't say I love you to other adults, apart from BIL every now and then!

OP posts:

cushioncovers · 29/12/2020 18:41

You did nothing wrong op. Forget about it.

Plussizejumpsuit · 29/12/2020 18:43

Jesus it's not like he caught you shagging! Your sister is being ott!

CheesyWeez · 29/12/2020 18:44

Of course it is absolutely fine. I regularly had my children in the bath with me up to 5 yo and I just asked our youngest (he's now 15) - and he can't remember it at all.
We also had our niece move in with us when she was 7, so we stopped communal baths then.

Your sister might be worried that your niece had seen you..? which doesn't feel the same somehow. With your own kids nakedness is okay they won't even remember. They're only interested in the bubbles.

SmileyClare · 29/12/2020 18:44

Fair enough about the niece situation. I agree with others, your sister is very uptight and has hang ups about nudity and sex probably. That's quite unusual if you've both had the same upbringing but don't let her make you feel uncomfortable.

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