Can anyone explain flashing to me?

[Shinylikeglass]

I run in our local woods, often on my own, there's no peace like it.

From time to time, running friends, will warn lone female runners that a flasher is operating in them there woods. TBH, I'm never sure if it's actually true and whilst I agree it's off and probably traumatic in the moment to come across a flasher, I'm not sure what's so dangerous that I should stop doing the thing I love most in the world, just in case I come across him?

Or does "flasher" mean something other than just showing off his bits?

@Swingometer

I'm sure flashers do exist but a lot of the time I suspect it's an urban myth

When I was at secondary school, the cross country route we had to do in PE went through some woods and there were always rumours about a "flasher" but I never met anyone who had ever actually seen him

I love running and walking on trails and footpaths (much nicer than roads IMHO) and while I'd appreciate being warned about any genuine attacks or threats I would tend to ignore vague rumours unless a named person could provide a first hand account

I used to see them quite often in the 60s and 70s when I was a child/teenager. Not so much recently.

My experience of flashers has been they have been masturbating. It's not a case of a quick flash. I've also had masturbators on the phone when I worked on a helpline (this is very common). You might think you would be fine with it but it's unpleasant and you don't really know where it could lead if they feel the opportunity is there.

The "they're just sad, pathetic little men" line doesnt work either. Robert Napper, mentioned by another poster, was definately a sad pathetic little man who was deeply and irretrievably twisted inside. He was also extremely dangerous. Most sexual offenders of all types are sad, pathetic little men, in fact the most dangerous men on the whole are also the most pathetic. So I can view someone with deep contempt and still feel afraid of them. (I am aware I have used the word pathetic a lot)

@yetanothernamitynamechange

Its also very interesting that in almost all these stories the recipients were vulnerable in some way - pregnant, in a wheelchair, old, very young, alone, children or some combination. I genuinely hope the creeps accidentally flash a dog-walker and get their bits savaged by a rotweiler.

Yep, every time it seems to be the case, doesn’t it? When I was at uni there was a cycle path that ran from the campus into town - it was through the countryside and beautiful. There was a man flashing at students there for a while too - always at girls on their own. Bastards.

It is certainly not an urban myth, why would anyone make that up. I've seen several and it was unpleasant as I was much younger and less robust. One of them was late at night and he must have run ahead of me off the train because he was masturbating in front of me as I turned a corner. It was scary enough for me to scream, from memory the only time I've done that since childhood. I got the distinct impression he was a nasty misogynist as he was furious and told me to shut up you stupid fucking bitch. I wouldn't be at all surprised if he escalated.

I don't know what the answer is as I don't feel we should curtail our activities because some men are violent, and let's face it it's an emotional assault, even though not physical. Just because some people can laugh it off, doesn't make it trivial.

I've never seen one but I imagine its absolutely terrifying.

A girl in my class at secondary school got flashed at whilst walking through a park on her way to school in the morning. At first she was laughing about it but quite manically, then she burst into tears and started shaking. Awful.

@yetanothernamitynamechange

The "they're just sad, pathetic little men" line doesnt work either. Robert Napper, mentioned by another poster, was definately a sad pathetic little man who was deeply and irretrievably twisted inside. He was also extremely dangerous. Most sexual offenders of all types are sad, pathetic little men, in fact the most dangerous men on the whole are also the most pathetic. So I can view someone with deep contempt and still feel afraid of them. (I am aware I have used the word pathetic a lot)

Absolutely this. (I was the poster who mentioned Napper).

Just because someone is pathetic doesn’t mean they’re not dangerous. People shouldn’t laugh at or engage with them.

Always thought if it happened to me I’d not be scared, make some withering remark or something. When it did, it was a young guy who was clearly stronger than me. He followed me and my dog - daylight, but quiet streets. No one really about. When I sped up he sped up etc. He then moved ahead of me and turned round, exposed and masturbating. I was bloody terrified, it was horrible. I was worried he would hurt me / my dog. Someone appeared on street and he went on his way. I could not stop crying. Shocked at how much it shook me up. I was pregnant at the time though not visibly so that maybe didn’t help. Lost the baby shortly after and although highly highly unlikely to be related, I’ll always wonder if the shock did play a part, can’t help it.

The police took it seriously, told me they are invariably serial offenders. The concern is the behaviour escalates. But frankly it’s bad enough on its own.

I don’t know why men do it - but to cause fear and shock and distress and to get off on it all I guess is the obvious answer. Pretty grim.