Can anyone explain flashing to me?

[Shinylikeglass]

I run in our local woods, often on my own, there's no peace like it.

From time to time, running friends, will warn lone female runners that a flasher is operating in them there woods. TBH, I'm never sure if it's actually true and whilst I agree it's off and probably traumatic in the moment to come across a flasher, I'm not sure what's so dangerous that I should stop doing the thing I love most in the world, just in case I come across him?

Or does "flasher" mean something other than just showing off his bits?

Happens a lot in the woods near where I live - I actually find it pretty funny tbh - and usually just laugh at them - they get embarrassed if you laugh and tend to run away in my experience

I saw a man on the bloody high street the other day whip out his bloody penis too right in front of me - to have a wee ffs it’s disgusting

Ive had an incident with a flasher, i was horseriding through some local woods when this man in his late 20's flashed me and started touching himself. I nearly fell of the horse laughing at him and he turned tail and ran but ill be honest i only felt safe because i was on a horse who would have trampled him if he had come near and i knew i could have outrun him easily however after id got home i felt really unsettled by the whole thing.

Unbelievably I saw a flasher on the London Underground on a busy Saturday evening, I was on the way to a bar but there were plenty of families travelling home after a day of sightseeing etc.

A lady sitting opposite me alerted me to him, he was stood next to me but positioned behind my sister and there was a pram with a toddler facing him! The woman was trying to be discreet but when I noticed I grabbed my sister away and shouted pervert at him, he smiled! I then shouted over to the dad holding onto the pram and got him to move his toddler away! We got off at the next stop and alerted security at the platform but I don’t think anything was done! It was a shocking experience. It was so busy but it still felt violating and intimidating.

I actually find it pretty funny tbh

Why ?

I suppose I've been flashed ... maybe 6x in my life?

Probably not in the last 20 years, though.

I just get annoyed, it never felt threatening. One time I had hands full with shopping. I wanted to remonstrate but was tired after full day of shopping so just told him he was a loser & continued my journey.

Since i was 14 I have told them off in the moment or told the campus security the car registration number (3 of these guys were in cars at the time).
My sister punched one guy who got too close. She's brawnier than me so I doubt he forgot that in a hurry.

Glad you asked OP.
I agree it's a kind of attention seeking. I suspect they're desperate to connect so someone somehow, but actually afraid to have direct contact, this is the bravest thing they can do.

I don't think anyone is born bad so I feel sorry for them getting it into their heads that this is an ok thing to do. Vast majority of men feel utterly horrified at the thought of willy waving in a creepy way.

My experience was different to the vast majority of posters and more like @WouldstrokeTomHardy. As a gobshite teen we found the local flasher hilarious. He would appear in our local park every now and then, stand staring at you with his limp penis just hanging out. We would scream, laugh and shout insults at him etc and he would run away. He became a folk story at my high school. However I was never on my own when he did it and he kept a distance from us...im sure it would be a different story otherwise. I think, looking back, he got off on the humiliation of it. I wouldn't be surprised if he hid and listened to us ridiculing him afterwards. He always looked so sad, stood there.

I went to an all girls school with a distinctive uniform and lost count of how often I was flashed between ages of 11 and 16. Somewhere between 10 and 15 incidents anyway, including repeat offenders.

It never happened to me alone and me and my friends were the mouthy types who just laughed, but as an adult with a better understanding of sexism and power it really pisses me off that yet another group of blokes treat women and girls as just accessories to the male experience.

I remember all the instances that it happened to me vividly.
At 8 years old in the sand dunes whilst l went for a pee, my family on the beach below. I felt very threatened.
At 11 on playing fields walking home , just far away enough from people not to be caught.
13, 16. 19. More blatant.
I find it abhorrent. A despicable show of male power.

@WitchQueenofDarkness

I was flashed once as a student in Manchester - my first reaction was to laugh as he looked so ridiculous so I did. He scuttled away into the bushes like the lowlife he was and I admit I've barely given it a thought since until this thread reminded me.

I'm not easily intimidated though and was living in a notorious area of Manchester. I found the persistent curb crawlers far more threatening.

You were young at the time and probably immature for your age, and just didn't understand the risks. Don't beat yourself up about it.

@user1471565182

Flashers often move on to much worse stuff and that will probably be his offending area

This. It can involve progression and escalation. These guys aren't stable geniuses and you're literally alone in the woods with them.

@Justvisitingthisplanet

When I was working late on my own in the office a staff member came in and stood right behind me and was openly masturbating himself. Even though I had a phone on my desk I froze and couldn't call for help. When I reported it to management next day was told it wasn't personal and was an isolated incident. Not true. Often glimpsed him just out of sight watching me and rubbing himself. Also later found several other women in the company had trouble with him, to the extent they'd cover the internal office windows to prevent them being overlooked.

The women were required to adjust their behaviour to facilitate some pervert - says it all. Please tell me this was many years ago!?

I was watching a documentary about the Yorkshire Ripper and one of the areas much commented upon but not mentioned at the time was the fury many women felt about police going door to door advising all local women to stay at home and not leave the house without a male chaperone. As if horrendous crimes against women had become a way to effectively jail women by forcing them to alter their behaviour to a huge extent and implying the responsibility for their safety lay solely with them. In the case of the YR, whilst placing a curfew on women they also did an ineffective job of catching the perpetrator, partly due to not listening to what the women who had survived attack could tell them. A long time ago now but I can understand how unfair it is that we end up policing each other and having to curtail our lives over something done to us iyswim. One the other hand I welcome the information about this kind of behaviour because I want the chance to follow up on it and make my own assessment. In my (fairly limited) experience of working with people on the SAR I’ve yet to come across one who didn’t start with “flashing” type behaviour before it escalated into more serious acts. I’m told by more experienced colleagues that ‘flashing’ should always be reported for this reason.

And @SavoyCabbage I remember that Herbalife/park run woman - terrible behaviour but typical of MLM people.

I wouldn't call it flashing. I'd call it visual sexual assault. Sounds much less flippant.

I wouldn't actually give a shit about being flashed (and I have been flashed before) in and of itself but it would concern me that the kind of person who would flash women might then escalate to more serious offending so I'd find it threatening for that reason.

I’ve been flashed at twice on different occasions. Once in my twenties walking through a dark park. Man walking towards me (in the dark) nothing on his bottoms so no pants or trousers. Just walked past frightened the life out of me.
Another time , same place saw something moving in the bushes. Realised it was a man masterbating staring at me. Again put the willies up me so I just ran through the park as absolutely no one about. Got home and called the police.
Afterwards people make a joke about it, but when you’re on your own, in the dark it is very frightening. God knows what they get out of it, it must be very cold!

I'm sure flashers do exist but a lot of the time I suspect it's an urban myth

You are so very, very wrong

I’m really surprised anyone thinks it’s an urban myth. I come from an area with a few rough estates and it was fairly common. Why wouldn’t you believe that it happens? Really weird.

I wouldn't call it flashing. I'd call it visual sexual assault. Sounds much less flippant.

This. Anytime our local police post warnings about this in local wooded areas there's ALWAYS comments (majority men) joking about it being their mate (tagged) etc. It needs to be taken more seriously.

There's an area it frequently happens here and now the police issued a statement to say if anyone sees them to call 999. They're obviously concerned by it.

You were young at the time and probably immature for your age, and just didn't understand the risks. Don't beat yourself up about it

Beat myself up about it? I barely wasted a further thought on the pathetic little man, Believe me you didn't live in 1970s Moss Side/Whalley Range without knowing the risks.

The real danger was the curb crawlers with their cars. I was taught to keep well out of grabbing distance. I often wonder how one of them explained a huge foot sized dent in his car door when he mistook my boyfriend for my pimp!

In terms of precautions OP, cellular enabled watch (some Apple Watches or Garmins work independently of your phone), whistle, and - daft as it may sound - holding something back through the deepest bits of the wood, so that you can outrun most people.

Like you, I don’t let it change my habits though. This is a (small) risk I’m willing (angry, but accepting!) to take in exchange for the freedom I feel when running alone.

I've been flashed at four times-
Once on a canal tow path when I was 14
In an empty car park, aged 17
At a bus station, at night, aged 18
In Spain, in a deserted square, aged about 20
I'm now nearly 50, and for me the pattern is very clearly - a young woman, alone in a vulnerable situation. I remember each time as being very scary, I can definitely say it happens and it's horrible.

Why would anyone say it’s an urban myth 🙄🙄 wtf

I was on a family holiday to the coast when I was 18, two of my cousins were with me (both aged 16) on the beach when a middle aged man flashed us from the sand dunes, being young and rather wild we decided to chase him, the sicko ran when he realised three crazy looking teenagers were after him, he hadn't a stitch on him at this stage. We found his clothes and took them down to the sea, waded in and left them there. He definitely wasn't just a guy indulging in some naked sunbathing, he had been standing up (in every way) wanking off while watching three teenage bikini wearing girls. After dumping his clothes we just headed back to the campsite laughing, thought it was hilarious. Never told our parents until years later, unfortunately it never occurred to us that we should have reported him immediately.

I remember taking kids to the park with a friend who is a probation officer. She never took her eyes off her kids and freaked out when they played hide and seek in the bushes.

She told me these perverts are very much in our local communities and actively seek out opportunities to get their kicks. Her work means she is all too aware of this.

It really made me realise how ignorant I sometimes am of how disturbing these people are. I wouldn't cower indoors about it or stop doing things I enjoy, but I try to stay aware of my personal safety and that of my kids.

I was flashed at when I was about 19/20 in broad daylight in Belfast City Centre. The guy stopped in front of me and opened his coat (so the typical cliche of a flasher). I was a young, sexually active, confident woman and yet it frightened the life out of me. I just walked past him but it was a horrible experience and definitely felt very threatening.

This happened to me recently, in a small park in the centre of a city, with other people around. I'm in my 50s. The man, while flashing, propositioned me.