I opened my friend's Xmas present early and I wish I hadn't...

[Destinysdaughter]

Because it's a box of fucking Thornton chocolates! I spent ages looking for a pretty necklace for her that cost £13 And a box of Hotel Chocolat chocolates and this is what she gets me? I've known her since I was 16 so she is my oldest friend. It's not even about the money, its about the lack of thought and care that's gone into it that's upset me tbh. I feel like sending her a message tomorrow saying, let's not bother with Xmas presents any more if this is the pathetic amount of effort you're going to put into it. And she's not poor either, she's on a good salary. She's always been a bit unreliable but this feels like such an insult when I've always gone out of my way to get her something lovely. Pissed off!!

I know there's nothing anyone can say really, I just wanted to vent.

@Sunshineandflipflops

I’d say the only difference between hers and your present is a £13 necklace. It’s not exactly a huge discrepancy is it?

Umm yes it is?

@ifIwerenotanandroid No, I find most chocolate other than Cadbury’s pretty sickly to be honest so wouldn’t be blown away by either Thorntons or Hotel Chocolat and my kids would probably end up eating most of them.

Sounds like the "straw that broke the camels back"& she's "just not that into you".
I felt the same a few years ago.You need to put her way down your list.x

If she normally puts more thought in to your present and more or less spends the same as you I would let it slide this year. She could be stressed and just not have the mental capacity at the moment to do something more thoughtful. If it’s a common thing for her then match her effort and budget.

Eh?

I agree, if this is unusual she may just not have the head space. I was just reflecting that I have not been as thoughtful with gifts this year, but then, it has been one of the most stressful years so my mind has been elsewhere.

@Coyoacan

We make our own hell, don't we? I am thrilled to have friends and family. Chocolates would be a nice extra

How very true.

OP, you got judgemental responses because you said none of what you said in your later post. Your first post came across as a foot stamping paddy about a disappointing Christmas present where you took the time to point out your friend wasn’t poor etc.

Perhaps if you’d said that you’d given a lot of support to your friend (unreciprocated I assume?) and then described the gift in that context you might have got more sympathetic responses.

From the friend's perspective:

• Maybe she isn't much into gifts and Christmas?
• How was she to know what you had bought her? Perhaps she was expecting a token gift and wishes you didnt go the extra mile.

Once, one of my best friends, who is known for getting pretty good presents, said she had got me a present (we had agreed not to).
I rushed out and bought her a really lovely cushion that I would have much rather kept for myself.

She had wrapped up about 4 hotel chocolat chocolatess for me. Not even a whole box. 😂😂😂

I don't blame you for being pissed off tbh. Also, to all the people saying it's a shit necklace, I have a necklace of the same value that was a gift, I wear it every day and never had a problem - stop being so stuck up! Thornton's are a total cba gift, it's what you send to the kids teachers, not your friends.

mmmm.... Thornton chocolates. I actually hope I get some tomorrow.

I've got my DP two tubes of Pringles tomorrow (and packed them in bigger boxes for comedy effect!), so you're doing quite well I think

It could have been worse; she could have bought you a Dove or Nivea gift set

Meanwhile covid rages through our country and hospitals are full! You sound totally ridiculous!

I remember many years ago, a friend said for weeks she had got me a lovely present. Repeated quite a few times id love it. I got her stationery she had asked for as was in to penpalling. Present was a box of maltesers with a 50% off on the back, so 50p. It was more the fact - she had told me repeatedly about this amazing present she had got me. She knew I was lactose intolerant so could not eat them

I have given two gifts of Thornton's chocolates this year as they have done a Christmas market themed box and I thought them particularly relevant to these friends who would usually be jetting off around Europe visiting the real thing.
Having been led to their website, by internet searches for a Christmas Market themed gift, I also purchased some personalised bits for the DC.
Everything arrived quickly and beautifully packaged.
I hope my friends are not offended by me being a cheapskate - the cost of the selection was in the same range as an average Hotel Chocolate sleekster.
My Thornton's gifts are given with quite a bit of thought.

If you want to flash the cash around that's up to you. No-one forces you to.
Some people can't afford it or just don't do extravagant spending.

Be thankful you're not my friend You have been lucky to get something from the pound land.
Oh BTW if you don't want them ill have them

Do grown women really give a shit about this stuff Wait until you get to experience some proper difficulties in life

Depending on which box of Thornton's chocolates she bought, she may have spent more than £13.

The gift is no reflection on how she feels about you. Every year I put my all into getting my best friend something lovely. This year I have FAILED miserably. In fact I've done a pretty poor job with everyones presents. Everyone has crap presents. Why? Because my mental health is suffering because of the pandemic. I've tried so hard but honestly I've not been able to think of what to get as my brain is just not working. I hope my friend doesn't think I don't care because we've been friends for 26 years and I love her! You have no idea where she is at.

I'd rather a box of Thornton's chocolates than a £13 necklace that will either break after a couple of wears or turn my neck green! I would get your point if you'd got her an amazing gift but yours doesn't sound much better!

I bought my MOH a £4 bracelet as her gift at my wedding.

Should she have thrown it back in my face as an insult despite me seeing it and knowng, as soon as I saw it, that she would love it?

Its not what it costs but what its worth. She gave me a priceless gift on my wedding day that cost her nothing.

I would rather have@Destinysdaughter as my friend than all you "oh you left a zero off £13 surely" grabby lot.

I'll have them 🤣 Love a box of Thorntons.

@IToldYouIWantedTheUnicorn

It could have been worse; she could have bought you a Dove or Nivea gift set

Blasphemy! A Dove set is the one gift I hope for every year