If your kids are 'grown up' do you remember how hard the toddler years are?

[MaizeBlouse]

This isn't meant as a goady post at all. I am yet to have teens and don't expect it to be a walk in the park by any stretch. I'm expecting it to be very challenging and stressful, but in a very different way to how stressful and challenging having toddlers is.

The wider context is basically this: I have a DS3yo and DS1yo. Both lovely, excitable, happy, creative, healthy kids. Sometimes they scream and cry if they don't get thier way (the 3yo more than the baby) and my 3yo is also a very picky eater, despite us trying all the techniques. My life, as expected, is pretty much non stop. No more than anyone else I'm sure but I feel like I'm either bfeeding, carrying a baby, cooking, cleaning, dressing someone, sorting out a lunch bag and so on. Oh and also trying to run my business too (I am self employed). Someone always seems to be crying or moaning despite me and DPs best efforts to meet all the needs.

I know this makes it sound like we're out of our depth perhaps, but I feel like it's a true reflection of having 2 kids 2 yrs apart and I'm sure in probably just 6 months time things will be easier.

The reason I ask the question in my title is that my DM seems to think that me and my siblings (I am one of 5) always sat and ate whatever we were served, we never moaned or cried, we always said please and thank you and she never had to discipline or bribe us as we always did as we were told. She doesn't understand why my boys sometimes defy my requests to share nicely etc, or tantrum. In my eyes they are behaving just like toddlers do and I discipline them accordingly (not the baby obvs). Me and DM have a good relationship but she is quite a matyr and is very bitter if anyone else has any success. I think maybe she's just forgotten how hard it is to look after very young children. How physically demanding it is and how little time you have to do.. well anything!

So, if your children are older or grown ups now, do you remember what these very early years are like with more than one child? Did you find it full on? Or do you feel like your children were better behaved than the young children of today?

In their rooms.

Mine are 14 and 16 but I do 100% remember what hard work they were. They're a comparative dream as teens, they do their own thing and even make the occasional dinner or cup of tea for us!

We also started having lie ins again once they hit about 12, they used to wake at 5am and need me us to get up with them - so so glad that's over now! Both boys - I've found parents of girls had it relatively easy when they were little, but are (tending to) feel it more now.

I haven’t forgotten it and mine are 16 and 18. I live away from my family, my husband often worked weekends, I worked hard in an unremitting job and my kids were always sick! Very hard- not necessarily the dc but life was hard.
But I also remember the lovely bits and would do it again in a heartbeat.

Oh yes I remember although actually once they were toddlers it wasn’t as hard as when they were newborns/babies.

I don’t remember everything but I do remember being permanently exhausted. I remember the odd tantrum (doesn’t mean it didn’t happen a lot, more that I only remember the really epic ones).

The toddler age was one of my favourite periods though - maybe because it was the first time I could start to properly enjoy them although my god they were tough sometimes 😂

Mine are 3 and 5. Still full on, still no easier. Sorry OP!

TrySarahTops so funny. My dd was such an easy child to raise but she is practically- and often- horizontal as a teen.

I see a parallel between my relatively laid back toddlers who have grown into kind but rather lazy teens and my friends and neighbours with tiny balls of fury and energy who seem into everything as teens / young adults!

Even relativrky easy kids need raising, get sick, have friendship issues. But at least I wasn't in a and e every month.

Sorry OP but for me the toddler years were a walk in the park. At that age you have absolute control and you can make their lives as controlled or not controlled as you like. Adult kids are a whole different kind of stress and with 3 of them in our lives there is always at least one drama going on and always one of them to worry about.
I'd swap adult kids for toddlers or newborns any day.