Does anyone else thinking getting married at 18 is insane?!

[MemorisingHamilton]

My lovely MIL got married when she was 18. I look at my DD (17) now and the thought is beyond preposterous

I have a friend who married at 17, divorced at 22. She’s 40s now and has never remarried and would agree it was insane!

You will probably be inundated with replies from people who got together at 18 and are still together after 30 years or whatever. But I agree. I was way too busy living life at 18 to want to get married and it wouldn't be something I would want my 18 year old to be doing.

I was an utter twat at 18. Not a chance would I have been able to have a mature enough relationship at that age!

It is insane. Although...I was with my now husband at that age and although we didn't talk about marriage at the time, in later years we have both said that we felt that we 'knew' at that stage. We did marry at an age that people would view as stupidly young today (early 20s) but we're going strong well over 20 years later.

But I'm a hypocrite because I'd be shocked if my own daughter decided to get married at that age.

I know a couple of girls who have and are happy butbthey are fairly fundamental evangelical Christians.
I’d strongly discourage my children for committing at such a young age; your still growing up at eighteen and university would come first in my book.

I barely felt 'ready' in my late twenties! DD has experienced even less than I had with this clusterfuck of a year.

Although MIL and FIL are still together and happy as clams.

I was married at 16 and had my second child at 18, it's normal in our culture.

16!

Would you want that for your own dc, christmas? If you don't mind me being nosy.

The only people i know who got married that young are those who didn't believe in sex before marriage, and they all regret it now. Conveniently, they all managed to get their heads round divorce.

I got engaged at 19. Married at (just) 22. In retrospect probably a bit bonkers but I'm one of the fortunate ones it seems to have worked out for.

Married at 16, 40 happy years until he died far too young of cancer. Won't marry again, why eat mince after years of steak.

But depending on your MILs age she could have been working full-time since the age of 14 or 15 so probably a bit more mature than today's 18 yos.

Before the 80s living together (try before you buy) wasn't an option. If would have been frowned upon.

Of my generation mid 40s I only know one lady who was married in their teens, she was widowed in her 30s.

Its not what I'd choose and I think most 18yos wouldn't be ready for the commitment.

I shudder to remember the plonkers I fancied at 18. I’m very grateful that I waited until I was mature enough to recognise my wonderful dh’s qualities that I definitely wouldn’t have appreciated at 18.

My mum was 18 when she married my dad (he was 22) and had 2 children by 22. My parents just celebrated their golden wedding anniversary.

However, I still think it’s crazy.

I was married slightly later to the man I was with from around 16, and I’m still happily married, but married before I finished studying would have been a disaster. I needed quiet to study, he needed noise.

Yes the one teen wedding I have been to ended in divorce. I mean they were sweet and so in love but I was just sitting there thinking “Mistake! mistake!”

My mum married at 18. 2 kids by 22. Married 5 times by the age of 55, with partners in between. Yes. It's bonkers

I'm nearly 60, and when I was younger it was very common to get married young. I didn't get married until I was 23, which for the time was considered quite "old". Times change.

dh and I met at that age and decided to get married within 6 months, though for logistical reasons didn’t for another year. Still together 30 years on.

My siblings all waited sensibly till their early 30s. All are now divorced.

I think dh and I had the huge advantage of being together more than a decade before having dc, we had time to work out the kinks without the extra stress a baby brings to the relationship.

I would not discourage my dc from coupling up young, but then again, if they are willing to listen to anyone about it then they are not that certain, and certainty is the one thing I think is essential.

I still know the bf who proposed to me at 18, thank god I never agreed, I’d have murdered him by now 🤣

But depending on your MILs age she could have been working full-time since the age of 14 or 15 so probably a bit more mature than today's 18 yos.

Yes, definitely. I don't know how mature she was though (obv) but I think she still depended on her parents a lot. A funny combo of being more mature in some ways but babied in others, from her stories.

Before the 80s living together (try before you buy) wasn't an option. If would have been frowned upon.

Mad, isn't it. No, you can't spend a night together but yeah, go for life!

@MemorisingHamilton my DD's are 18 (19 next month) and 16. Both still at home. The older one is no where near marriage and plans to be home until she is at least 25. The younger one has been with her boyfriend for almost a year and I think she'll be married before she's 18. I think 21 is a good age to be married.

My friend from school got married at 18. We've lost touch a long time since, but I don't think it lasted. She'd lost her mum a year earlier and I wonder if her mum had been alive would she have made the same decision.

Jesus when I think back about the lads I'd have married at 18... Thankfully my decision making skills improved!

I married at age 19, had a baby at 21, was divorced by 23, remarried at 25, had two more children at ages 27 & 30. I became a grandmother at 41 & again at 46. I am now 50.

I have been someone's wife (and stepmother, she was 6 when I married her father and she's now 38) or mother for most of my life.

I tell my daughter who is 19 that it should be illegal to marry before 30.