Does anyone else thinking getting married at 18 is insane?!

[MemorisingHamilton]

My lovely MIL got married when she was 18. I look at my DD (17) now and the thought is beyond preposterous

I got engaged at 20 and only didn't marry straightaway because I was pregnant. I look at my 20 year old son and can't believe I thought I was mature enough to become a mother, stepmother and wife at his age. I wouldn't change a thing but I was one of the lucky ones.

I met DH at 17, we started dating at 19 and got married at 25. We grew up together and we are still happy now in our early 40s.
My mum got married at 18 to get away from an abusive home life, she was widowed at 30 with 2 small children to look after.

My DD is 14 and I think she should live her life, travel and have fun before she settles down.

@Kippure I get what you're saying, and I've definitely seen that kind of attitude from some young posters on this site. However for the majority of the UK population do not travel the world or have big careers, for most people those types of big adventures are beyond their reach and always will be, whether they get married at 18 or 35. Also, I don't think it's fair to make a judgement call on the what makes a life interesting and fulfilling, it is different for everyone. There are a lot of people who only have children later in life because of circumstance anyway, rather than that being their preferred age to have a child. Finally, marriage at a young age does not need to lead to having children young - in fact I'd imagine most people who have children under the age of say 21 in this country are not married! We got together at 18, married at 20 and DD was born when we were 24, so it's not like we were rushing to have a child once we were married.

I met DH at 18, got married at 29 and had a child at 36. We’re still together and I love him but I do think in many ways it would have been healthier for me if I’d not coupled up so firmly so young.

I don't think 18 is wrong, if you have left school. However if it were my choice it would be the minimum age, so as to reduce forced marriages.

@Curlygirl06

I'm nearly 60, and when I was younger it was very common to get married young. I didn't get married until I was 23, which for the time was considered quite "old". Times change.

I’m only a few years of 60 and that’s not my experience at all. I was married at 30, and that was about the average age of everyone I knew.

Things are different now. That's what you did. I met dd's dad at 16, engaged at 18, married at 21. (Divorced at 37)

Dd is 24 now and I can't imagine her married.

I’m 28 and I still feel too young! I know you can always get divorced but what a huge commitment that you could potentially get wrong.

My mum was married at 17 and was on her third husband by 30. There’s no way she’d have let me get married that young

I got married at 22. I had a degree, a job, a child who wasn't DH's, and had been living on my own since I was 19. So for me it was a natural step, as I was living a life that was far too old for me already. No regrets, it's worked out well so far, DH is great and I really like being married. I look at my friend's experiences in the current dating scene and it looks like a bloodbath, frankly.

My sister got married when she was 18. I was at uni at the time and thought she was mad. Dd's 18 now and is nowhere near ready to get married.
My sister ended up getting divorced when she was in her 40s so I suppose it lasted quite a long time.

I don’t think it’s mad. I don’t have daughters but I’m planning on getting them ready for a long term commitment in good time. There is no such thing as the perfect couples. The new lust stage is very deceiving so I hope to give my dc enough wisdom to help themselves and make smart decisions.

My mum was married at 19 and had me at 20. I got married at 27 and had my dd at 29. I went to college and uni before a years training and starting a full time job. My mum didn't get those opportunities and was happy being a sahm for years. She does now have a part time job though! She never wanted any of us to get married so young as she felt she had to grow up quickly.

I wouldn't have wanted it for myself because I wasn't emotionally mature enough but some people are. I definitely wouldn't want my dd or ds to get married so young, I would rather they took every opportunity that comes their way, marriage and kids is a big responsibility and I wouldn't want them to take it on so young.

One of my friends got married at 16, we are 34 now and her 16 year old is married and expecting. So not every parent discourages it.

I met DH when I was 22 and we got married 10 years later! My best friend get married at 21, just a year before I met DH, she had already had her first son and had her second shortly after. They’re not together anymore and separated after a few years. Her eldest is a year younger than my DSD.

DH and I took a while to get round to marriage but we both knew we were in it for the long haul very early on indeed, but felt no rush to tie the knot. We’re very happily married.

it was quite common in the 70s, many people started work at 15 or 16. Very few people, especially women, had a 'career' or certainly didn't think about one. Young women stayed at home until wed, young men were expected to move on into digs, the idea of 20s year olds living at home was very odd, especially among the working class.

If you compare how 18 year olds are treated now to 50 years ago it is quite striking how infantilised they have become. Probably not a bad thing.

When I think of the idiot I was with at 18 and the next few

My cousin had a massive church wedding at 20, to a guy she'd been with for ages, but whom she was not allowed to live with prior to marriage, by her parents. Lasted all of 6 months. Perhaps it might have fizzled out before but they were planning The Wedding for 18 months (and The Wedding Night for perhaps longer) and actual marriage didn't quite live up to it. Massive wake up call to her parents who admitted they should have left well alone.

Met in 1957 when I was 16 and dh just 18. Got married in 1960 when I was 18 ( a month off 19). It was mad but this wasn’t uncommon at the time. We certainly had our ups and downs over the years but still love each other and had our 60th anniversary this year. My friend did the same but was really happy with her dh until he died 5 years ago. I agree it was crazy but it was all down to luck.

DH and I met at uni when we were 20 and 19 respectively. We moved in together 3 days later and married when we were 25 and 24. We were together and totally in love right up to his death at 36.
So, if we had married when we met, it would have been fine. It all depends on you meeting the right person, whatever age you are.

My parents were 18 and 19 when they married, 60 years next year. IL's were 16 and 20 when they got married, 51 years in a few days. Neither relationship would've suffered by waiting a few years. They just grew up in an age where living together wasn't the done thing and contraception not so convenient. Times have changed, there's just no need for it now.
My mum looks at my 19yo and shakes her head at her having been married with a child by this age. A fact I constantly have to remind her of when she's worried about him being away at uni, how on earth can he care for himself. I tell her he may be daft but he can't care for himself and at least he's not stupid enough to be married. She laughs, no worries about offence being taken, she gives as good as she gets.

Kids today grow up much slower than years ago, when your mil got married at 18 she was probably far more independent than and 18 year old today.

We were engaged at 18 and married at just turned 20. Nobody said a word about it being too young and we didn’t think it was especially young. Looking at our 14 yr old and thinking of him in 4 years it does seem crazy but it was right for us so I think it depends very much on each individual.

People can try out more people these days without it being frowned on. It still doesn’t make for happier marriages.

I think it’s very young but in times past socially and from a life expectancy aspect getting married young was just the norm. Even the generation around WWII if you were a woman and getting to about 24 and were not married you were risking not being married at all. Go back just to then with less effective or zero fertility treatments it’s really the ideal age to physically try for dc.

It’s just societal and medical shifts that have changed all this and very recently in history. People will say but my great grandma had my uncle when she was 43 but she would probably have had dc spread over 20 years maybe more and uncle would have been child 9.

I don’t think it is insane at all. You can’t help when you meet the right partner. Some people meet them early at 18 and some are still looking at 39.

My parents now in their mid 70s married when my mum was 19 and my Dad 21. They wed late 1960s.
My mum had started work at 15. My Dad a little older but he'd gone on with his education.
My Dad had rinsing all my mum's paperwork, even for medical care until she turned 21 herself and was considered an adult.
I thinknots was the norm in a very different time that we live in today.
My in-laws now mod 80s wed late 20s and were considered left on the shelf by thier generation.

@MumandnotMum

I got married at 19. Was divorced by 23. Utter twat.

Same ! 🙄